CAUTION: I’m on my soapbox today. If you don’t want to hear me get preachy … click another link and move right on. I probably don’t need to blog when I’m frustrated.
I heard it again the other day. The phrase I hear too often, and when I hear it, it makes me a little angry. This time it was a husband that said, “I’m not sure I want to stay in my marriage because I just don’t think I’m in love with my wife anymore!”
“I’m not in love anymore.”
“I don’t feel in love anymore.”
Any way you say it … it’s wrong.
You may not “feel” in love anymore, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t love your spouse. If we’re totally honest, the bible tells us that we don’t just fall out of love with someone, instead what we’re doing is choosing to stop loving them.
Notice what the bible says about loving our wives in Ephesians 5: 25 …
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, and gave up his life for her.” (NIV)
That said nothing about, “as long as you feel in love,” nor did it say, “Christ died for the church because he felt like he should.” The word “love” in that verse is “agape” love. Agape love is not a “feeling” word but an “action” word … meaning love is something you “do” not something you “feel.” You actually don’t fall “in love” or “out of love” with agape love … it’s an “I choose to love you” love.
So we must … choose to love!
If you think you don’t feel in love with your spouse anymore, you’ve misunderstood what true biblical love is. The love you and I should have for our spouse is a love that chooses to love … not a love that says, “As long as I feel in love.”
We don’t accidently fall “in” or “out” of love. Love is not an accident … it’s a choice. I choose to love my wife … on good days and bad days.
So if you don’t “feel” in love with your spouse anymore … do something about it … rekindle the flame. Seek outside help through a Christian marriage counselor, BUT don’t use the lame excuse of, “I want out of my marriage because I’ve fallen out of love with my spouse.” You didn’t fall “out of love” … you’re just choosing not to stay in love.