WHAT WOULD JESUS TWEET (OR HIS FACEBOOK STATUSES LOOK LIKE)

Can you imagine if Jesus would have had a Twitter or Facebook account? His status updates would have been THE best. Maybe they would have looked something like this…

  • Didn’t tell my parents I’d be hanging at the temple for about 3 days. Mom and Dad just found me. Wow, Mom looks mad.

  • Totally freaked out my disciples with that miracle. Wish you could have seen the look on Peter’s face. Priceless!
  • Just pulled the boat up at a cemetery. A screaming naked demon possessed guy came running up. Apostles are refusing to get out of the boat.
  • Just sent a bunch of demons into a heard of pigs. I call it swine flu.
  • Sleep evaded us all last night. Andrew snores like a three-humped camel with asthma.
  • The Pharisees are mad at me again. Honestly, is there ANYTHING I can do on the Sabbath without getting into trouble?
  • Just changed water to wine for the wedding feast. Let’s see the preachers try to explain this one in 2000 years. :)
  • Poor misguided Pharisees, when will they ever catch on?
What can you add?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
26 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Marty says:

    LOL. That's all I'm gonna say. Thanks for making my day brighter!

  2. Scott says:

    Just broke up a funeral. Luv it when the dead sit up!

    Parents bringing children to see me. Can't wait to talk to each of them TTYL.

    Apostles arguing among themselves again! Will they ever get it?

  3. Bobby Cohoon says:

    Look at the people flocking to me; I must be more popular than the Beatles!

  4. TREY MORGAN says:

    Judas is up to something. I can just feel it.

  5. Katherine says:

    Ha, those are awesome!

    Have you ever seen the vintage21 videos? This reminds me of them…

    What in the name of ME is going on in here?! 😉

  6. Kevin Rayner @ Highland Church of Christ says:

    Those are awesome. Keep up the good work.

  7. Tim Archer says:

    Taught while sitting in boat again. Started to step out and walk, but will save that one.

    Is it just me, or does John the B. have locust stuck between his teeth?

    How come Matthew keeps writing down everything I say?

    If the apostles give me that "We don't get it" look one more time, I'm going to scream!

    LOL! Those scribes really can't take a joke

  8. Rev. Mike says:

    -Jesus is now friends with John the Baptist

    -Jesus is now friends with Phillip

    -Jesus is now friends with James and John

    -Jesus is now friends with Nicodemus

    -Jesus is now friends with Zacchaeus

    10,000 similar posts!

  9. Bobby Cohoon says:

    Trey, you must be some kind of theological genius; Who else could come up with the phrase "Three Humped camel with asthma!" That has to be an inspired statement! Love you brother

  10. kim says:

    bah ha ha! swine flu!! lol.

  11. Deb ;) says:

    Some guys caused a stir at a house where I was preaching by cutting a hole in the roof and lowering their buddy down. I healed him. Guess I will be patching the roof in the morning….

  12. Stoogelover says:

    Based on your previous blog, I'm pretty certain he would have twittered in King James English.

  13. Peter P says:

    WHOA! Peter just cut some guy's ear off…. dude wasn't expecting THAT!

    I currently have 12 followers. I bet I can get 5000 more with a few loaves and fishes.

    Satan came to tempt me then angels came to tend to me. It's an average morning.

    Had to wash their feet. Someone was stinking up the room!

    I have to admit, the whole dove-coming-down-voice-from-heaven thing freaked even ME out!

  14. Brian Vaughan says:

    Just got woke up from a nap, man these apostles are wimps when it comes to a few waves. If I can sleep though it, they can deal with it themselves!

  15. Glenn says:

    The kid wasn't so humble after all… he got the big head after I picked him and I saw him bragging to his buddies.

    (This is one of the most entertaining posts I've read in a long time. Thanks!)

  16. Anonymous says:

    Feels good to be in the sunlight again. Left angel to tell anyone who comes looking for me that I'm back.

  17. vanilla says:

    Wonder if this thing still works from way up here. The look on those guys' faces is priceless.

  18. TREY MORGAN says:

    EXCELLENT … I'm enjoying this … How about:

    – Satan is now following Trey. Jesus says, "I'll block him for you"

    – People are beginning to catch on, IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE.

    – @ Apostles: Who's up for supper? I cooking tonight.

  19. Robin Brannon says:

    -Watching the Texas/OU game… I already know who wins 😉

    -Pleased with Trey's boldness. Wish more of my people would be bold.

    -Still waiting for the Pharisees in NC to get it…

  20. Anna Renee says:

    I'm sorry to break up the rhythm, but this is the BEST post I've read! I just kept laaughing even louder after each comment! Great way to wake up! Carry on!

  21. Jenny Close says:

    Contact me any time at http://www.praytojesus.com or call me at 1-800-imjesus. I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks for putting your Faith in me.

  22. Anna Renee says:

    Brother Trey, your blog is great! That's why I nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger Award! Come to my blog, wrestlegod.blogspot.com and see!

  23. dante says:

    How about:

    Father, just once, let me send the twelve legions down and smack these pharisees around

    You should have seen Peter's face when he looked away from me walking on Water

    Trey, keep em coming…this blog was priceless!!!

  24. preacherman says:

    What a strong faith that I see in women. They definately will play a role in my church and Kingdom! I want my church to remember that they matter and are useful!!

  25. LBB says:

    These nails can't hold me. I'm going home!

  26. Greekinator says:

    Not swine flu, but deviled ham, packed in water! Greekinator

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • it's still early. :)
  • no worries. Luke is a very popular gospel during the Christmas season. 😜 #BabyJesusStory
  • Mitch Moreland has a combined 1.6 WAR since the start of 2011 at a premium position (DH/1B). That position needs to produce.
  • definitely don't disagree with that. We will miss his glove. But he had such a quiet bat for someone at first base.
  • I only disliked him when he was at the plate.

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