THE GIFT OF SEX

Two weeks ago I preached on the subject of sex. A few days before that, my songleader called asking the sermon topic so he could plan his songs. When I told him my topic was sex, he was caught a little off guard. “I’ll do my best,” he said.

That Sunday morning before his first song he announced to the congregation that the sermon was going to be on sex, and that he’d tried and tried, but just hadn’t been able to come up with any song from the songbook that dealt with sex. He then asked the congregation, “Can anyone else think of one?” Suddenly, one little old man who was probably in his 90’s, began to stand. He raised his shaking hand slowly and said, “What about Precious Memories?”

Okay, honestly, that really didn’t happen… but it’s one of my all-time favorite jokes. While the songbook might not have a lot of songs on the subject of sex, the bible is FULL of verses on the topic. The thing I find extremely interesting is how much of what is said is on the positive side. Yet, due to our society’s loose views on sex we only seem to teach and preach on the negative side of sex. Sadly, we’re missing the teaching that God is the creator of sex, and He made it to be GOOD and enjoyed (can I get an “Amen” here guys?!) in the confines of marriage. Our kids need to understand that God intended sex in the confines of marriage to be beautiful. Sex isn’t dirty, it’s a gift God has given us!

Here are just a few verses that drip with sexual innuendos …

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19)

“Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples…” (Song of Solomon 7:7-8).

“Rejoice in the wife of your youth, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” (Proverbs 5.18-19)

The church hasn’t always looked upon sex as an amazing gift from God. Unfortunately, most churches have only preached about its dangers and focused on how sex in the wrong context can destroy. Sadly, a lot of folks have gotten the wrong idea, even Christians, that sex is only dirty, only sinful. While the world chooses to be obsessed with sex (because sex sells) many Christians and churches have ignored the subject unless it’s to preach against it. As I read my Bible this morning, I was reminded how many times the Bible speaks positively about the beauty of sex in the confines of marriage.

I love the fact that God chose to devote so many verses and an entire book in the Bible (Song of Solomon) to the positive side of the subject of sex. Sex shouldn’t be dirty … because it’s from God. He created sex, and He created it as a gift for a husband and a wife. I pray that as I raise my children, they’ll know and understand that there is a negative AND a positive side of sex. God created it beautiful; it’s a gift … thank Him for it!
(COMMENT OF THE DAY: Hannah Grace said… “thanks for sharing its good sometimes to remember as a single unmarried person that I am not only following a rule to NOT HAVE SEX, but that I am in fact holding out for something much better and more beautiful. thanks for the reminder.”)

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
31 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Belinda says:

    I am all about it. I have so many girl friend who just hate sex. WHY?????I don’t get that. It is something precious God gave us for oneness.A sweet moment. Love the post.Thanks

  2. Timbra says:

    oh great. . .i used your “17 rules” on the front of sunday’s bulletin and directed the entire congregation to your blog, now this week you’ve talked about how you’ve preached the worst sermon ever, and sex. .. . what will people think of me, keeping such company?!!! no no. . as always, appreciate your openness and thoughts on “taboo” subjects. . .

  3. Leslie says:

    For Belinda-

    I once loved sex, too. But after having my second child, the desire has left me completely. Trust me, no one is more disappointed than me. (except maybe, my husband!) I do what the Bible tells me to keep my husband from temptation but its still a rare occasion for us. And I’ve tried getting help from my doctor but nothing really helps. I’m praying God will heal me so that my husband and I can rediscover the passion that we once had.
    This may be what your friends are going through so I hope this confession will help you see their point of view. Pray for them, and me, too.

  4. TREY MORGAN says:

    Thanks Belinda :)

    Timbra – I hope that I DID get you in trouble. ha

    Leslie – I prayed for you. :) Thanks for sharing your heart. I know that wasn’t easy. I’m sorry for your struggles, but I’m thankful that you haven’t just “accepted” it. Continue to pray and continue to seek help.

  5. Sarah says:

    A) Leslie needs to see a different doctor. That can be helped. And, I appreciate that you will pray about your sex life. God will be faithful!

    B) I’m crackin’ up that only women have commented so far…

    C) I’m with Belinda and get annoyed when women complain about what a ‘chore’ it is. What a blessing that God gave us as couples to be so close. There have been times in our marriage that that was pretty much all we had going for us.

  6. Peter P says:

    Hey Trey,

    Great post as usual.

    You can get a big AMEN from me!

    It really bothers me that the Church is so afraid of sex.

    Belinda said she has a lot of girlfriends who hare sex. I’m not surprised. The Church brings them up believing that it is immoral and dirty. What hope do they have!

    Boaly has been saying some great stuff about sex along with some non-sexual valentines ideas.

  7. Stoogelover says:

    We don’t hear this topic much from the pulpit, for sure. Were you the one who gave a link once to a preacher who challenged the married members of his church to have sex at least once a day for the next month? I would think that type of preaching would draw in some visitors!!

    Sex as God intends is beautiful and I am a fortunate man to be married to my wife for 34 years and our sex life is better than ever because at our age you just never know . . .

  8. WisemanB says:

    Just a comment on the lack of guys commenting thus far… In their defense, it’s hard to leave a comment when your drool shorted out the keyboard.

    A little more seriously, here’s some suggestions for songs to go with a sex sermon:
    “Count Your Many Blessings”
    “He Gave Me a Song”
    “He Has Made Me Glad”
    “Whispering Hope” (if those ads on TV speak to you)
    “Lo! What a Glorious Sight Appears” (after all, the church is the bride of Christ and…)

    Come to think of it, these might have been a tongue in cheek suggestion, but these could seriously support any point you could make in a sex sermon, including “Make Me a Servant” since we are to submit to one another as husband and wife.

    Did you include any of Joe Beam’s new material?

  9. Peter P says:

    Nice suggestions WisemanB.

    How about:

    “God is so good” (since he created Sex)
    or
    “Wonderful, so Wonderful”

  10. TREY MORGAN says:

    Peter P – “non-sexual valentine” ideas … kind of an oxymoron in a man’s book don’t you think. ha

    Greg – I did post the link on the 30 day challenge. I thought it was an interesting story.

    WisemanB – You win the award for making me laugh the hardest today. “Drool shorted out the keyboard” LOL. And I love the songs.

  11. blogprophet says:

    I like sex.

  12. Haley says:

    Oh my gosh; I can only guess the comments Timbra is going to get a church next week; my sister has such great timing with things like this! Another good post; which really isn’t any surprise anymore!

  13. Philip Murphy says:

    funny joke. I laughed… a lot.

    “Precious Memories” was always too close to “Precious Mammaries” for my liking.

  14. Ryan B says:

    You married people. Lucky

  15. mattdabbs says:

    Are you thinking that by blogging more about sex you can move higher up the top 25 CofC blogs list? 😉

    Now seriously, that is a topic that needs to be discussed more.

  16. Belinda says:

    WOW!!!!I don’t think my name has ever been mentioned so many times on a blog.I am honored, Thanks. I am with all you people out there who struggle with this topic, I used too.It’s not just about your man. Its’ about you too.Well Trey looks like you have to add on to this post.

  17. LauraLee Shaw says:

    Yes, you heard an “Amen” from me. One time when our pastor was covering this topic, we had a sketch to open it. Yes, it was “G” rated, but it helped to set him up…prepare the congregation a bit.

    Found you on Facebook through Bill Williams blog. I’ll be back. Thanks!

  18. Anonymous says:

    Nice post.

    we haven’t been married ten years yet, but sex is better now than it was before the two kids. maybe not as often, but definitely better. and my wife is very modest (not an ounce if kinky, if you catch my drift)

    for those recovering from children/pregnancy…hang in there.

    God didn’t have to make it so pleasurable. Praise Him!

  19. Terry says:

    I would suggest INXS’ “Need You Tonight.” These are a few of the lyrics:

    “I need you tonight
    ‘Cause I’m not sleeping
    There’s something about
    you girl
    That makes me sweat.”

    Those lyrics remind me of the Song of Solomon 5:2…
    “I slept but my heart was awake.
    Listen! My lover is knocking:
    ‘Open to me, my sister, my darling;
    my dove, my flawless one.
    My head is drenched with dew,
    my hair with the dampness of the night.”

    Let me know if your worship leader ever leads that song:).

  20. Anonymous says:

    Wow interesting blog for a preacher. I agree, but have a different perspective. For a persons whose first sexual experience wasn’t her choice I find it hard to associate sex with love. Which needlessly to say, effects my marriage. As a person who was raised to believe it was only right in marriage, when it happened outside of it (even though it wasn’t something I had control over), I could never forgive myself. I could never feel worthy of God, my husband, my up bringing.

    I agree is it a wonderful and essential part of marriage. I just wish the church did more to preach the message of self forgiveness when things don’t go as planned. No matter if that is by choice or not.

  21. Anonymous says:

    My letter was published in our local newspaper in response to an article.

    Re: Mormons discover joy of sex, but only with a spouse.

    The joy of sex within the context of marriage between a husband and wife was our Creator’s original intent and remains so to this day. When we take it upon ourselves to ‘improve’ on a perfect design, however, we invariably make a mess of things. Sexual deviations and perversions may briefly satisfy lust, but leave a profound emptiness of soul, which begs for more of the same unrewarding activities, invariably followed by a deadly downward spiral of bondage from which it is difficult to escape.

    Why so many have headaches, become unfaithful, get into pornography, use sex to control their spouse, lose their playfulness when the children arrive, are always too tired, feel guilty and dirty, and deny themselves this ultimate joy, I’ll never figure out. There is absolutely no ceiling on the pleasure a husband and wife can experience when they are committed to each other’s happiness! It’s guilt free, fulfilling, thrilling ecstasy! And it’s not only for Mormons.

    That was 6 years ago. Since then hubby’s medical condition has made him unable. We kept ourselves pure for marriage and truly enjoyed 44 years of bliss. I am grateful but I grieve this huge loss and have found no one I want to talk to about this in confidence. We’ve done the doctor thing. I have a host of questions about this state in marriage – but no answers.

    Enjoy each other as married couples in your youth!

  22. Rebecca says:

    Trey,
    I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Rebecca. Amy Horton pointed me to your blog after some discussions around church, etc. I’m already impressed. :)

    I’ll be tuned in.

    Rebecca

  23. Hannah Grace says:

    thanks for sharing its good sometimes to remember as a single unmarried person that I am not only following a rule to NOT HAVE SEX, but that I am in fact holding out for something much better and more beautiful. thanks for the reminder.

  24. TREY MORGAN says:

    LauraLee – thanks for stopping by. I’m honored.

    Terry – Excellent INXS song. Never saw it that way before.

    6:20 Anonymous – I’m sorry for your past hurts and abuse. My heart hurts for you. And I pray you’ll find answers on self-forgiveness. You may not be interested but here are two sermons I did on forgiveness: Click here to go to Sermon 1 on forgiveness.
    One of them (I can’t remember which) dealt with self forgiveness.
    Click here to go to Sermon 1 on forgiveness. Also, I’m sure you’ve heard this, but I hope you’ll seek counseling from a Godly person or counseling. I have very close friends that have gone through what you have, and I know it’s not easy. Blessings. (Just right click the links and open them in a new window)

  25. TREY MORGAN says:

    7:49 Anonymous – I loved the letter, but hated to hear about the problems. Continue to seek medical help and God’s help. Blessings.

    Rebecca – That Amy is a sweetie! Thanks for stopping by.

    Hannah Grace – I’m also so impressed by your maturity and kindness. You always bless my blog with your words. You said it the BEST today. I wish every teen would hear what you said. :)

  26. Anonymous says:

    I was talking to a friend of mine this past weekend about how much fun sex with our husbands is. What brought up this subject?

    Birth control.

    I’ve just started using birth control for the first time in my 8 years of marriage, and our sex life has always been great.

    My friend has been on birth control for most of their 10 year marriage, until this past year. Her husband got a vasectomy. Anyway, she said it is amazing the difference that has made for her. She had never enjoyed the sex before, but tried to. Now, she can’t believe what she had been missing.

    That may not be true for everyone on birth control, but I thought I would throw that out there, in case it helps anyone else. I know everyone’s body reacts differently to various medications. However, if you are struggling to enjoy sex with your husband, it may be worth rethinking the birth control for a while if you can.

  27. Ron says:

    Great blog on a tough topic for Christians. The world has made sex seem soooo slimy and we tend to operate from a defensive standpoint in response to it (see no evil…) that we often get a form of secondary trauma from it all :)

  28. Maria says:

    Interesting topic Trey, one that hits pretty close to home, wish in a positive way. My only consolation is that God can heal & restore, even the most broken.
    Sorry I hadn't stopped by in a while, so much going on in my life at the moment.
    His,
    Maria

  29. 30milesnorth says:

    Men. Chances are if things aren’t spicy enough at home, look in the mirror. There’s the problem. With women, sex is 90% emotional and 10% physical. With us it’s reversed. Women like to be wooed. Trey has talked about this before. There has to be an atmosphere, created by us (men), that makes your spouse feel safe, not only emotionally but physically. Talk to her. Talk to her. Talk to her. (Not about the Dallas Cowboys). I’m talking about deep down thoughts and feelings. Listen to her. Listen to her. Listen to her. (She’s NOT talking about the Cowboys). See what happens. (Throw the remote away).

    Leslie, let your husband read this, give your kids to someone for a week, go to the mountains together.

    I’ve talked enough. Men. Buy a book. “His Needs, Her Needs”. See a counselor, not a preacher, except maybe Trey, he understands.
    Remember men, it’s emotional not physical. I know. Been there, don’t want to go back, and hopefully never will.

  30. TREY MORGAN says:

    Ron – thank you my friend.

    Maria – I’ve missed you.

    30milesnorth – Well said. Except I agree … see a counselor, not a preacher. :)

  31. Gabrielle Eden says:

    Why do pastors say, “right, guys?” Don’t women know that sex is great?

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
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