THE EXCITING LIFE OF A MINISTER

You may be thinking that my life as a minister is pretty dull, but I have to tell you, you’re way off on that thought. It can be a roller-coaster thrill ride at times. It’s the little things that take place every day that make it exciting. Here’s an example…

A while back, I went to the hospital to visit an elderly woman from church who had fallen down a flight of stairs. I’d been told she’d broken some ribs and her arm, busted her lips and blacked her eyes. I expected her to look pretty bad when I walked in her room, but I never expected the nightmarish images that would be ingrained in my head forever.

I rounded the corner by the nurses station and could see some of her family standing in the hall. As I approached the room I asked them, “How is she?” They said, “Glad you’re here. She’s been asking for you. She’s going to be fine, but she’s just really beat up.”

There was a handful of family in the room when I came in. They backed into the corner to give me some room with their grandma. She looked as bad as I imagined… eyes nearly swollen shut and her lips busted and bloody.

I gave her some sympathy and said, “You poor baby. I’m so sorry.”

“Look at what I’ve done to myself, Trey,” she said.

“I know, but you’ll get well and you’ll heal,” I told her.

She said, “Trey, it’s not just my face, let me show you what else I’ve done.”

It was at that point my life changed forever. I’ve replayed what happened in my mind over and over to figure out what I did wrong and how I could have changed what happened next. For it was those words, “Let me show you what else I’ve done,” that still haunt me. Everything moved in slow motion because it was a second after those words rolled off her tongue that she grabbed the sheet that had been covering her 86 year old naked body and RIPPED IT OFF.

Because the mind has a tendency to protect us from highly stressful events, everything from here on out is a little fuzzy. I remember hearing the family behind me “Gasp!” as I stood over the bed of their totally naked eighty-six year old grandma. I specifically remember her yelling, “Look at it, Trey, look at it! Does it look bad? You can tell me, I can take it!” I was trying to look anywhere but where she was wanting me to.

I was doing everything I could to grab the sheet from her and cover her back up, but she had a death grip on that sheet. I expected at any moment the family to come rushing in like the cavalry and rescue me from a lifetime of emotional scarring and Grandma from certain embarrassment, but help never came. I think they were just as shocked as I was. It’s not every day a family sees their naked grandma for the first time.

As she lay there in her birthday suit, for what seemed like an eternity, hollering, “Look at me.” “How does it look?” and “Tell me the truth, I can take it!” The ONLY thing that kept going through my mind was, “Sheesh, this woman needs ironing!!!”

Today, this precious woman and I are still very close friends. I’d like to think it has nothing to do with what I refer to as “THE hospital visit,” but it probably does some. I honestly don’t think she ever realized what she pulled that day. I certainly don’t ever intend to bring it back up.

And so goes the life of a minister, you never know what crazy event will happen next. You just hope it’s not a life-scarring event. :-)

(Comment of the Day: Jason said…
Trey this was hilarious. I am going to go to my heavenly Father right now in prayer and thank Him that this hasn’t happened to me before.)

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1168 articles by
35 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Trace says:

    I didn’t think it was possible to laugh really hard and hold down a puke feeling all at the same time… but I just experienced it!

    That is hysterical!

    May God bless you for visiting the hospital. It is often overlooked by pastors, but it is one of the vital roles of a shepherd.

  2. That Girl says:

    I think I’ve just experienced post traumatic stress syndrome…

    I worked in a hospital with Senior Services for 10 years and often visited our senior club members in their rooms. After the first naked senior experience, I learned to have a nurse run interference for me.

  3. Amy says:

    I love it!! Thanks for a great laugh this morning!! At your expense, of course!!:)

  4. Larissa says:

    That was hilarious!!! It reminds me of my Mema. Of all the people in the family, she always asked if I could help her to go the bathroom. I loved her so much so of course I would always do it, but ya know…there are some things that you just don’t need to see or know.

  5. Jeanne M. says:

    Trey, maybe you should stop visiting old ladies for awhile so you can regain your composure.

  6. Shane Coffman says:

    Oh, my.

    I’ll take that as a lesson learned from one more experienced in ministry than I. Be on your guard when visiting old ladies in the hospital that are on pain medication…

    I would have run out of the room screaming, “My eyes! My eyes!”

  7. bikegirl says:

    I worked as a Nurse Tech for a few months once (desparation for income can be dangerous). I knew what my duties would be when I accepted the job but I didn’t really KNOW until my trainer took me into a room to show me how to bathe a patient.

    It was then I realized I was going to see people naked. Young, Old, Male, Female, it didn’t matter I was going to be responsible for bathing them.

    After the initial shock wore off and I realized how much better sick folks feel after they have been cleaned I was more comfortable with my job but that initial shock was quite a doozie.

  8. Jackie says:

    That was hilarious!!! and my laugh for the morning~ sweet old people!

  9. Robert Lukenbill says:

    WOW! just wow brother that is all…wow.

  10. DJG says:

    They probably need to put that in the recruiting brochure….get to see people naked!!!

    HA!

  11. Will says:

    You made me laugh out loud in my office all by myself…I wish I could see your face!!!!classic.

  12. Gilbert Kerrigan says:

    Have not had an “naked old lady” experience yet, but I have had a few “naked old man” experiences.

    Those are memories you just can’t shake!

  13. Johnny says:

    I cannot tell you how much I just laughed at your expense. Thank You Trey, I needed that today.

  14. RDeFir says:

    LOL! You caught me so off guard on that post! I was expecting the horrible thing to be something completely different! Then BAM! The hideousness of that mental image will haunt my dreams forever.

    Oh and heres a tip. A Steam Iron works best on old people, the metal gets to hot on the traditional ones.

  15. Odgie says:

    There really ought to be a contest for preacher stories. This one would at least make the finals.

  16. a.helms says:

    Trey, I laugh the whole time I read this. I don’t know if it was because of what happened or because I know of that type of experience myself. I don’t remember it happening since I was the one drugged and in the hospital though. I had just had major spinal surgery and apparently let my best friends husband see my beautiful new scare all the way up my entire bare backside. He thought it was funny but I don’t remember it. I was just glad I mooned him.

  17. cwinwc says:

    Your elders should give you combat pay for such duty.

    Reminds me of the line from the movie, “Airplane.”

    “Looks like I picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue.”

  18. Maria says:

    And all you could think of was “sheesh this woman needs ironing !!!” Again I will repeat, you are such a holy nut!!! You could have said, oh look, the celing needs to be painted or I have to go to the potty now, brb grandma! Nontheless this story will go down in the Great Halls of Morgan Hospital Visits! Thanks for the giggles! I will never look at anudder iron again, without smiling =)!

  19. Gallagher says:

    Those are the priceless moments preaching schools and college never teach you!

    Baa Haa Haa

  20. Jeff Slater says:

    LOL!

    I’ve had a few close calls, but after 15 years in ministry, I’ve still not seen a naked old person!

  21. blogprophet says:

    hahahah, that was great, trey
    haven’t experienced that yet, some partial nudity on old men, but not as traumatic

  22. Detwiler says:

    hahahahahah..haha…ha..
    Now you know what Lea will look like at 86.. You dislike it now, but you will like it then.. ha…

  23. nb says:

    Hahahahahahahaha! Laughing so hard my eyes are leaking… :)

    I really needed some humor today! Thanks!

  24. Liss and MOMMY says:

    I must be a Minister and didn’t know it. This type of randomness happens all the time to me. I have this one story that still makes me embarrassed I can’t even type it. I am impressed you were able to put it in black and white.

  25. karin says:

    My co-workers and I could write a book! We’ll all need ironing should we live that long! Actually people who have a little fat left under their skin always appear to look much younger than their stated age. It’s those fitness fanatics that are just wrinkles and bones. I’m doing my part to stay plumped up!

  26. westcoastwitness.com says:

    Please tell me you made that up.

  27. Jason says:

    Trey this was hilarious. I am going to go to my heavenly Father right now in prayer and thank Him that this hasn’t happened to me before.

  28. Anonymous says:

    I’ve never had any hilarious or embarrasing things like that happen to me. But a moment I’ll always remember, my husband and I went to visit an elderly man in the nursing home. For some reason, I sat in the waiting room while he did the visiting. I looked up from my very old magazine to see this sweet old gentleman coming toward me with tears in his eyes, but a smile on his face. The closer he got the more frightened I became, when he got close enough to me he whispered through the sobs, “I thought you were my daughter.” With shaky words and a hurting heart all I could think to say was, “I wish I were.” So sad, gmj

  29. Cecelia Tanner says:

    Thanks for the side-splitter,Trey.I sat here laughing so hard,It was all I could do not to Vomit.I read this to Andrew and all he could say was WOW.
    You have quite the humor but this took the Cake.WAHAHAHAHAHAHA…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  30. Mark says:

    Awesome story. Thanks for sharing. I got a good chuckle!

  31. Matthew says:

    The preaching life is the best life.

  32. KatieHen says:

    this is hilarious! i needed that laugh! you preachers sure do have a lot of horror stories!

  33. Kay says:

    Just last night as I returned from the ER from sitting with a woman at our church that has no family here, I told Dave, "I am REALLY going to have to stop going to the ER with elderly people – I see WAY TOO much stuff…" We laughed – I've been scarred forever from when my Daddy & Grandmother were there and the things I saw that I really wish I never had!!! :o)

  34. Anonymous says:

    Just remember everyone, we will all be old one day (God willing), you could be the one on the receiving end of the laughter. Just make sure you can take the laughter now if you should be in the same situation.

  35. Grumpy says:

    I love your style Bro. That is priceless.
    Grump

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage and randomness.
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