STUPID THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR WIFE

I could use a little laugh today. Thought we’d have a little fun.

Despite Solomon saying, “A wise man’s heart guides his mouth,” husbands still have a way of saying things they shouldn’t. Even though Paul said, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others us, according to their needs, that may benefit those who listen,” men still have the amazing ability to stick their foot in their mouth. If we’d just learn to think before we speak our little world would be a better place to live in.

I’ve been there. I’ve done it. Just about the time the words leave your mouth you think, “I probably shouldn’t have said that!” Here are a few thing stupid things a husband can say to his wife. And just to let you know, one of these I said to my wife, Lea, not to long ago. Not smart.

  • “Are you going to wear THAT?”
  • “How’s it going, big momma?”
  • “I make the money, I can do with it what I want.”
  • “Honey, I bought you a surprise today… it’s a broom.”
  • “Have you put on a little weight lately?”
  • “That’s not how my mom did it.”
  • “I like the way those pants make your tummy pooch out.”
  • “Oh, I’m sorry, did you say something?”
  • “You’re acting like you mother.”
  • “Can we eat our anniversary dinner you made in front of the television and watch Sports Center?
  • (looking at supper) “What’s this stuff?”
  • “I wish you dressed nice like Eddie’s wife.”
  • “I wish you could cook more like my mom does.”

You have to agree, they are all “stupid” thing to say to your wife. So, can you think of any more “stupid” things? Things you’ve said or you’ve heard said? And, any guesses on which dumb statement above got me in trouble? I’ll give you the full story later.

—————————————-

Answer:

A few years ago we were living in a house that had a really big kitchen with linoleum floors. It was such a pain to sweep with the “little” broom that we had. On my way to work one day I saw a truck parked along side the road with mops, brooms and other household cleaning items for sale. I thought to myself, “A considerate husband would buy a better broom for his wife to use so she didn’t have to use that little one.” I stopped and paid $25 for a nice dust mop (broom). I remembered how well they worked in my high school shop class.

When I got to work I called her to tell her I had bought her a nice prize that cost $25 and would bring it to her when I got home from work that day. I told her she could guess all she wanted but she’d never figure out what it was. I really thought I was doing something really nice. And now (hindsight is 20/20), I can see that a broom wasn’t one of those things she was guessing I would be bringing.

After a few hours of her trying to figure out what it was, I finally came home from work and handed her the broom. “Surprise,” I said, “I bought you a broom today.”

I probably don’t have to tell you the rest of the story, but I will tell you that she has never used that broom even once. It remains in the garage to this day.

Lesson learned!

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
68 Comments Post a Comment
  1. The Preacher's Household: says:

    James gave me a mini grinder for Christmas. I think another word for it is dremil. To his amazement, I still dont know what to do with it.
    I will say that one year I gave him a griddle (not girdle) for Father’s Day.
    Kathy

  2. Anonymous says:

    i would love a griddle as a gift, you can cook sausage, eggs, and pancakes at the same time just like at waffle hut…..COOL!

  3. Anonymous says:

    sorry, food gets me excited

    brian

  4. Mommysmart says:

    Whoa, I’m number 54! I forgot to tell you that I love the picture!

  5. The Preacher's Household: says:

    Don’t let her fool you. She ask for the dremil. As for the griddle it was for her she just gave it to me.

    Trey, I can’t believe Lea never used her dust mop.

    James

  6. Anonymous says:

    Trey – Jeff and I have this thing where we always tell each other “I love you” and kiss before we leave for the morning. One morning he was still in the shower so I poked my head in the bathroom and said, “I’m goin’, I love you!” His response? “Okay”
    It’s all good..the ER bill wasn’t too much! j/k
    Another thing that gets me is when I suggest something or ask something and he says, “Whatever!!” I DO NOT like that word!

    Sandi

  7. TREY MORGAN says:

    Sandi, That sounds so much like Jeff. You’ve got to remember you married the most “laid back” man in the world.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Yes, yes..I did!

    Sandi

  9. Ancient Wanderer says:

    anonymous-
    You are a good guesser.

  10. lisa leichner says:

    Don, I think anonymous was probably Brian. He just forgot to sign his name.

  11. TREY MORGAN says:

    Much better guesser than me!

  12. lisa leichner says:

    Trey, I can’t believe Lea would let a good $25 broom go to waste like that! You can send it to me. (o;

  13. TREY MORGAN says:

    It took a lot of years of marriage to get better at gift giving. Year’s ago I thought I’d suprise her with a hot tub (2000 payments at $99). Not a good gift idea.

    I thought of another story from years ago in my immature years (no jokes, Lea).

    I asked her what she wanted for Valentine’s Day. I suggested flowers. She said no to the flowers because they just die, but she said she wanted to be suprised. I was suppposed to get her something she NEVER expect.

    We’ll I thought what is the last thing she’d expect? – flowers (since she said no flowers).

    That one wasn’t to swift either! hua?

  14. Anonymous says:

    Trey – next time, suprise her with NASCAR tickets to Bristol. But since it was my suggestion..you have to take me and Jeff. 😉

  15. Liz Moore says:

    I’ve been behind on my blog reading lately, but boy was this a popular topic! :)

    I’m actually one of those weird sports wives, and I would be ok with sitting in front of the TV eating our anniversary dinner watching sports! :)

    And a funny story that involves both my husband and I… One year on our anniversary, we were talking about how much cards cost. We ended up going to the store and looking at the cards together. So while we were there, we both picked out a card and handed them to each other. We read them and then put them back! We got the sentiment and never spent a dime!

    Have a great weekend!

  16. Anonymous says:

    amen, liz,
    you two sound like a very spiritually mature anti-materialistic couple.

    my wife is kinda like that, “flowers die” etc.

    when I proposed, she didn’t mind not getting a diamond (it was a gold band), only if she could get a couch. we finally got living room furniture last year. after 5 years of marriage.

    this is brian, but the other wasn’t. what is NASCAR?

  17. Anonymous says:

    drivig too fast with a bunch of crazy drivers and not getting anywhere…in NJ, we call that commuting…

    brian

  18. TREY MORGAN says:

    Liz,

    I love it. Great story. Not buying the card. I need to take my wife to the flower store or Jewelery store and say, “Honey this is the one I’d pick out for you.”

    NASCAR … a southern redneck sport that I love … yippee.

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • good list. Don't forget Nickelback, OJ, ISIS and beer-throwing Blue Jay fans.
  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
  • As crazy as it might sound, Chris Collinsworth just might be worse to listen to than the song Christmas Shoes.
  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
  • Unfortunately, not a great night for "bobcats." :)

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