SEX AND THE BIBLE (Part 1)

Our worlds of Christianity and sexuality are commonly viewed as being miles apart. Someone once said, “Christian sex” is an oxymoron. We don’t talk about sex or preach about sex unless it’s a sermon that deals with “the sinfulness of sex” outside of marriage. When was the last time you heard a sermon preached on the positive side of sex or a sermon from the Song of Solomon. I’m not saying we need to be discussing sex openly, but we’ve got to understand that God created sex. Why not at least tell people what He has to say about it from a biblical perspective?

Believe it or not, God created sex as something good, and the bible actually has a lot to say on the subject. You may think, with all the warning about not having sex before marriage, that sex is bad. The Bible says something quite contrary to that. Sex is biblical, if looked at from a Godly perspective.

Here’s what I see the Bible saying about Sex…

  1. Sex is a Good Thing. Sex was created by God as something good. He gave a husband and a wife this gift as a way for them to express their love for one another. God did create sex to be a beautiful and enjoyable expressions of love, but only between a man and wife (Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 5:18-19; Song of Songs 7:6-7; 1 Corinthians 6:13). God also created sex as a way for a husband and wife to have children or as the bible says, “be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:27-28).

  2. Sex was Created for a Husband and a Wife. Sex is in just about every movie, book, television show and song on the radio. Our world has become lax about sex, making it seem like sex is okay with anyone because it feels good, but the Bible does not agree. God created sex for the confines of marriage only, and He calls us to control our passions and wait for marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2-3; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4).

  3. God wants each Person in the Marriage to Conscientiously fulfill their mate’s sexual needs and desires. Strong sexual needs exist in both husband and wife. Sex in marriage is wonderful! But like all blessings, there can be an accompanying curse. Unfulfilled sexual needs sometimes lead to illicit relationships. God addressed this strong sexual desire and need in humans through the writings of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5. “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

For more information read Joe Beam’s article on Sex and the Bible or see Focus on the Family’s Sex & Intimacy page. Also an excellent book is Ed Wheat’s book, “Intended for Pleasure.” This book should be a must read for the “about-to-be-married,” the newlywed and the long-time married.

I had Lea proof this for me last night before bed. She said reading this gave her a headache (joke).

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
19 Comments Post a Comment
  1. lisa says:

    It looks like nobody wants to touch this post yet. Ha. Thanks, Trey. I know it is hard to talk about sex openly, especially as Christians. You’re right: we’re told all along how bad sex (before marriage) is, and then sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing within marriage. It’s hard to get over the initial ideas about it!

    I personally think it would be helpful for older people to talk with younger people about sex before they get married, or even while they’re still newly married. And not just “Don’t have sex until you’re married,” but the older people need to tell them what to expect, etc. Just my two cents.

  2. Anonymous says:

    i am wearing latex gloves as I type this…
    good post, we have to get past our puritanical shame and teach our kids and adults to cut down not only on the sin but also on the guilt and long-term effects of sexual sins.

    I agree with Lisa, I have heard it is difficult for many, especially ladies, to flip that switch once they get married from “sex is evil, dirty, and bad” to sex is a gift from God for married couples

    a couple of books on my list include

    John Piper’s Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

    and Tommy Nelson (a baptist pastor) has a boon on Song of Solomon that is good.

    brian

  3. TREY MORGAN says:

    I understand the caution in which you guys write. I also appreciate the thoughts. The book recommendations are a good idea. I need to add, Ed Wheat’s “Intended for Pleasure” to your list. What a fantastic book for those about to be married, newlyweds and those long time married.

  4. Liz Moore says:

    What a tough subject to tackle. Not only because of us always being told mostly the bad side of sex, but because of the way sex is depicted in TV and especially movies. If we don’t talk to our kids the right way about sex, all they are going to get it from is Hollywood. Their view on sex, who should be married and have relationships, etc. is so warped that we are doing our kids a severe injustice by not tackling this subject ourselves. Thanks for your boldness and willingness to share on such a sensitive subject.

    P.S. I love Lea’s comment! It’s classic! :)

  5. Tim Archer says:

    The one book of the Bible that I hear questioned over and over is Song of Solomon. I tell people that the very fact that they question it shows why it needs to be there. God is the God of sex, just as He is every aspect of creation.

    Let’s not let the bad guys teach our kids about sex.

  6. That Girl says:

    It’s enough to make me consider marriage… uh, I think. My head hurts, too!

  7. Chris says:

    I remember hearing a speaker at a youth camp begin his lesson with the following line:

    I want to talk to you today about sex, but not just about any ole sex, I want to talk to about REALLY GOOD SEX!

    And, then he proceeded to talk about sex as God intended it, and how beautiful it was when as God planned it.

    Very good opening…

  8. The Preacher's Household: says:

    Another classic book people might look at is ‘How to Tell Your Children about SEX’ by Clyde Narramore. It has been around many years and seem old fashioned to some but it is a great resource on how to shape kids’ views of sex in a God intended way from the beginning.

    James

  9. Marie says:

    I remember as a newly wed how hard it was for me to realize that sex was now ok. I was allowed to be intimate with my husband and there were no consequences. It literally took me almost a year to be ok with it. All I ever remember being told was that you must wait till you are married and if you didn’t 1) how my father would be really disappointed and upset 2) the church would think very lowly of me and 3) that it would take forever to be welcomed back into the grace of God. I am looking forward to the next installment and for more ideas on books for talking to your kids (I have a long way to go- but will keep them on the list!)

  10. Neva says:

    One of the best things about working in juvenile justice and then in a psych unit for many years, sex loses a lot of its “so uncomfortable to talk about” status. We need to talk about sex–Christians need to talk about it. Otherwise we end up with unhealthy, unfulfilled Christians, primed for divorce.

    Thanks for tackling this Trey
    Peace
    Neva

  11. Anonymous says:

    I notice this is only part 1, so it looks like Trey is going to give us more sex….

    brian

  12. TREY MORGAN says:

    I think we all agree that it doesn’t have to be a hush hush subject.

    I do appreciate all the “brave” comments.

    I do plan a part two, but it will be a week or so down the road.

  13. The Preacher's Household: says:

    I guess I should have said Amen to Tommy Nelson videos. We’ve seen them – they are good.
    James

    I went from knowing a worldly view of sex to a Christian view so my thoughts became very puritan. It was hard to change mindsets. There is a guilt that is associated with not just being able to flip a light switch for that to be changed.

    During my first month of marriage, my very Godly best friend’s mother (who I consider my spiritual Mom) said, “Our sexual relationship has gotten better after all these years. You have a lot to look forward to because as you get to know each other and become closer, it will mean more and be better than you could even imagine.” I excused myself and went to throw up in the nearest bathroom. That was more of a thought than I could handle at the time. She did it out of love and now I appreciate the sentiment very much.
    Kathy

  14. preacherman says:

    Trey,
    I Joe Beams books are great reads. I think your blog series is great. I love the points that you make. I am looking forward to more of the series. It is a great post. God bless you for doing this brother.

  15. TREY MORGAN says:

    Kathy … you had me rolling on the floor and laughing.

    Preacherman – I sat in a Joe Beam seminar on sex once. It was very good. I have found most of his books worth reading.

  16. Monalea says:

    Trey,

    Good post! A woman told me once, “I don’t know why they put that dirty book of Solomon in the Bible.”

    A lot of good points were made.

    Love ya,
    Monalea

  17. AncientWanderer says:

    Who isn’t talking about sex? Our entire world is obsessed with sex!

    Sex is a weird subject anyway. Every generation thinks they invented it {I happen to know mine did} and never gives a thought as to how “their” generation got here to begin with.

    Just some advice from someone who’ll talk about ANYTHING at the drop of a hat–

    Talking about sex more openly won’t stop sexual immorality any more than talking about food will stop you from eating at McDonald’s.

    Both take self-control.

    ——–
    My point is, [[before someone gets upset]], it’s not the talking it’s what you say when you talk.

  18. TREY MORGAN says:

    I’ve never thought about the concept of inventing sex, but I still don’t think it’s something we should shy away from in bible class, etc.

    I taught a young adult class on sex a few years ago (from a biblical stand point), the comments I got were, I didn’t know that was in the bible. I only thought it said, “Don’t do it.”

  19. lisa says:

    this might be kinda late to come back to this post, but i didn’t see don’s comment earlier. i just wanted to say that i think he’s 100% right. BUT i think that the talking more openly about sex is for a different purpose, not necessarily to prevent sexual immorality, but to help christians when they are married have even better sexual relationships. as one who has struggled with that a great deal but seems to finally be finding her way … i think talking about it with another woman before i got married, or early on in my marriage, would have been really helpful for me to have a healthier outlook on sex. just my two cents.

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Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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