My friend’s name is Caleta May, but I’ve always called her “the mouth of the south.” She was a HUGE talker when she was a sweet but typical teenage girl. I met her when she was a young camper at the session that I directed at summer church camp. She has always had a special place in my heart. I’ve been blessed to eat in her home, meet her family, and I even allowed her to drive my Camaro (a no-no to most people).
She has now grown up into a beautiful young woman who is currently serving our country in Germany. Before she left for Germany, she came by Childress to see me. We talked about the good old times and her future in the military. Before she left the office that day, we spent some time praying together.
I hadn’t heard from Caleta in about 8 months, but I received an email from her on Monday. I was SO glad to hear from her, but her email was a huge “reality check” for me that I hadn’t had in a while. It was a cold reminder that life is both short and fragile. In her email she’d been crying because she’d received word in Germany that I had passed away. She’d been told that I had lost my battle with cancer I’d been fighting. When she finally got a call through to a friend in the States to find out the details, he told her that she had the wrong person and that I was fine.
It was then that she sat down and wrote me one of the kindest letters I’ve ever received. She talked of how I had blessed her life in so many ways. She was doing what has been called, “sending the flowers before the funeral.” She was letting me know what she thought of me while I was still alive to hear it. That is exactly what we need to do more often. Sadly, too many times we wait till after someone dies to share with people what we thought about them. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard, “I wish I could have told him what he meant to me, but now it’s to late.”
Caleta’s sweet letter reminded me of two things …
- First, it reminded me that I need, like Caleta, to send my family and friends verbal flowers before they’re gone. I don’t want to EVER utter the words, “I wish I would have told them how special they were to me while they were still alive.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve got plenty of verbal flowers I need to send out today.
- Second, it reminded me that what she heard about me could just as easily have been true. I could die any day leaving my wife and four boys. Then I started asking myself some hard questions like: Am I ready to go? Have I prepared my family for “life after dad?” What kind of things will be said about me when I’m gone? Will they manage without me when I’m gone? After reading her email I thought through all those questions and realized I need to give more perspective to these things. I need to regularly face these questions so I can remind myself what’s important and what’s not important in my daily grind. What’s important in my life are things like my wife, my boys, my family, my faith and my friends.
So, today as I sign off I want to say, “thanks Caleta” for the verbal flowers and the reminder that this actually COULD be my last day in this world. I think I’ll get off this computer for a while and go tell my wife and boys just how much I love them again.
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 22 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
Hey Trey,
Let me be the first to send you some verbal flowers from the blogosphere. You truly are a man of God and a blessing to me. I am inspired by your words and listening to your podcasts. I can only wonder what great opportunities God has before us by granting us more time with another day. Seems He wants you to continue the extreme home makeover!
I think I will go surprise my wife and get some flowers in addition to the verbal kind. That will blow her mind. Thanks for the tip!
PS. Maybe you could do the same and get the Christmas tree up next month?
God Bless
Life is very precious. Dealing with our close friends daugther’s diagnosis….has made me realize even more….you never know when it is your time to leave this world. I love my life and try to enjoy every minute of it. Thank you again for the reminder….Steph
Trey,
Thank you so much for including this piece in your blog! You have included me in something that I know is dear to you, and for me, that is my bouquet of “verbal flowers” from you. As well as that driving lesson in your red Camaro! (I still remember that day very vividly!)
I am grateful that phone call turned out the way it did and more than anything, I am blessed that I was directed to your site and able to contact you again. I have missed our summers and look forward to the time God has blessed US with by answering our prayers for you.
Love,
Mouth of the South
P.S. I totally voted for you and the early Christmas tree put up!!
I really need this reminder. Thank you and the Mouth of the South (and thank you for taking that title from me…)
sending verbal flowers your way from keller,tx. i, too, voted that you should get to put your christmas tree up early!
oh, and my dad says that one of the guys on the sonic commercials makes him think of you every time he sees him.
-shei
What a great idea, sending verbal flowers.
Monalea
This blog brought chills to this old man. Thanks for a very timely reminder. I’m glad God brought Caleta into your life and that the closeness has remained over the years and distance.
I’m grateful He brought you into my life through this blog stuff.
Tucker – Thanks bud. I appreciate the kind words. That makes it worth the time to blog and do the sermons on the internet … when I often think it’s a waste of time.
Steph – I’m so glad you’ve been stopping by here. It makes my day.
Caleta – Love ya and miss ya. Be SAFE over there and come see me this Christmas. I’ll let you drive my pickup truck now
Donna – Really? You held the “Mouth of the South” title there? Go figure! ha
Shei – Glad you came out from behind the lurker curtain. I hope I remind him of the “goofy” sonic guy. He’s my favorite.
Monalea – Verbal flowers are cheaper than real flowers.
Greg – Thanks for being my friend.
I always check your blog site because you invariably write something to touch my heart. You are special in my life even though we have never met. I am so happy Caleta was able to get in touch with you. Verbal flowers to you both for your friendship through the years.
I also vote for the early Christmas tree. Everyone needs something visible to brighten the day (besides a beautiful wife and four great boys for you, and my dear husband for me).
The older I get, the more I realize that each day is precious, but the promise of heaven is more presious.
Great post, Trey, and ‘verbal flowers’ to you. I haven’t been a visitor to your blog for very long, but in the short time that I’ve known of it, I stop by here everyday, although I don’t always comment. Just wanted you to know that I’m here, reading, and I appreciate and enjoy what you have to share with all of us. Much love!–mmlace
Loved the post!
…But I’m still siding with Lea on the Christmas tree issue.
I’m glad you’re not dead too! I love you Trey and continue to admire you.
craig
trey, thanks for the comment, and good blog. Jesus has used you in so many ways in my life, and that is the best way i can summarize what you mean to me.
i saw the title of your blog and the picture of the flowers earlier tonight, but then had to leave to a birthday party. coming back i was feeling completely wasted, like i had nothing left to offer. when we got home i went straight to my room and got my bible and journal out, while my husband graciously put our daughter down for bed. i was reading in JN 14. it is amazing to me the offering that Jesus gave us when he said “do not let your hearts be troubled. trust in god, trust also in me…. i am the way, the truth, and the life.” the thing that is crazy is that he said this right after he was explaining that he was going to be crucified soon after. i am in awe of the love that he poured out at that moment to the undeserving. his selflessness is hard to comprehend, he was trying to comfort them and give them hope on the brink of his death, betrayal, and pain. wow.
ok i just wrote my own little blog on your comments.
i am going to go and offer my own flowers now. thanks again.
Thanks Trey for your thoughts!
Wow, very powerful post! What a devastating moment for Celeta, yet what a gift to you.
Mon – It is possible that they could have been tears of JOY!!!
Trey – I listen to your sermons on the radio and now I’m in the blog world. I had to joke the other day about you coming into the newspaper an not knowing me.. I thought u knew me.. Just to clear things up.. I am the Youth Minister at Carey Baptist Church.. my wife is a native Childressette! Amy Wilson Detwiler… (I.E. we actually live down the street from you ..ha) Hey thanks for blog today.. There are times when we do not express our feelings enough.. Thanks for all the Lord does through you here in our community. I am so thankful you get to be apart of what the Lord is doing here… Have a good weekend man. -
Zach,
No problem man. I just wasn’t paying attention when I was at the index last week. I know “who” you guys are, but I’m looking forward to actually “meeting” you and visiting more. We’re glad you guys are in town too.
Keep the noise down on your end of the block … can ya?
I am definitely holding you to the driving the truck! I grew up to be a pick-up truck girl and miss mine so much. You just messed up!
See you Christmas!
My mom died of pancreatic cancer after learning about it 7 weeks before. She was told she probably had about 6 months. I was with her for 4 weeks, then went home to take care of business, so I could go back and stay as long as she needed me. She died the day before I was to return. My good-bye was not what I would like it to have been, but I did tell her I loved her before I left, and know that she loved me, too. I am going to try to give verbal flowers to my family and friends while I can. Thanks for the reminder.
Trey, believe it or not, someone in Tulia asked me the other day how you were doing..they had heard you weren’t doing good at all!! I had to laugh. “Last time I talked to him he sounded alive and well!”
We knew Mom was going to die soon when she was diagnosed with cancer. We had 19 good months with her after that…the last month wasn’t so good. But we got to tell her things, like how much we appreciated and respected her for raising 3 girls on her own. Then we got brave and started telling her things we had done as kids..she already knew all of them! Then it got me to thinking, what if we wouldn’t have had that 19 plus months? What if a car wreck took her life instead? From then on, I always tell people I love them. I tell my kids how proud I am of them. Jeff and I never part ways until we tell each other “I love you” (sometimes I have to wait for him to say it!)
Never leave things “unsaid”!
Thank you, Trey..for all your neat blogs.
Sandi
I feel so blessed that before Darrell died he and I had a real heart to heart talk that I will always treasure. We talked about how we admired each other and how much we loved each other. Looking back on the whole situation as horrific as that was and still is for me, I can see God’s hand in that portion of my life very clearly. I can’t tell you how many times I have thanked God for that moment! Sometime I’ll sned you verbal flowers, just not in the mood to cry right not but know that
I do Love you,
Dixie