A Christian’s Self-Worth

My friend Erin is a single college girl. The other day I applauded her Facebook status that said something along the lines of, “I do not base my self-worth upon dating lots a guys. I don’t have to constantly be dating someone, to be someone.” She is 100% right, and I love her maturity. She got me to thinking … what do we base our self-worth on? What do you wrap your identity up in? What do you allow to define you? For example, I’m going to guess ….

Men often base their self-worth on:

  • Their sex life.
  • How much money they make (or don’t make) a year.
  • What their job is and how long they’ve been employed.
  • If their children are gifted athletically.
  • Their toys … cars, boats, etc.

Women often base their self-worth on:

  • Their looks (hair, nails, shoes, make-up, clothes, etc.)
  • Their house (I’ve heard it said a woman’s house is just an extension of who she is.)
  • Their kids (If their kids aren’t doing well, they feel like a failure).
  • Their marriage (If their marriage is struggling, so is their self-worth).

Young people often base their self-worth on:

  • If they’re currently in a relationship.
  • If they have a boy/girl chasing them.
  • If they have the latest phone, video game, etc.

For the men: If you’re wrapping your self-worth up in the things listed above, they are only going to let you down. Happiness isn’t found in the next new gadget or higher paying job.

For the women: If you’re thinking that all you need to be happy is these four things to align just right, it’s NEVER going to happen. You will WEAR YOURSELF OUT trying to find happiness that will NEVER come. Your happiness isn’t going to be found in your next hair color or new outfit.

For the young people: Your self-worth should NEVER be based on whether or not you’re in a relationship with someone. Sadly, some young people feel that if they’re not in a relationship there’s something wrong with them. Young ladies, you DO NOT have to have guys chasing you, texting you and calling you to be someone special. Your self-worth shouldn’t be based upon how many boys like you. More make-up or shorter shorts don’t make you more appealing. INSTEAD your heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find you. Young men, self-worth isn’t in the coolest phone, the nicest car or having the hottest girl.

Self-worth shouldn’t be based on what other people think, nor should it be based on what the world thinks.  Instead, base your self-worth on how much God loves you. Isaiah 43:1-4 says that we need to build our self-worth on what God says about us: “I love you. I redeemed you. I call you by name.” Why? “Because you are precious and honored in my sight.” God loved us enough to create us in his image AND to send his son to die for us. That right there should make your self-worth go through the roof.

What do you base your self-worth on? Hopefully God, because everything else will let you down.

SO, what are some other things we base our self-worth on?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
19 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Trey Morgan says:

    Here are somethings I find me basing my self-worth on…

    * My latest sermon … was it good or bad.
    * My ability to do ministry well.
    * My schedule … sadly I feel good about myself when I’m super busy. I can feel good about what I’ve accomplished, but my self-worth shouldn’t be based on my schedule.
    * My children.
    * My health & weight … I’ve always struggled with my weight. It’s a daily battle and I’ll fight it until I die. BUT, my self-worth shouldn’t be based on a fluctuation of 10 lbs.

  2. Scott McCown says:

    A great post this morning — thanks!

  3. ~Brenda says:

    My writing, photography skills, quilting skills, ability to have a ministry that succeeds … lots of things. I’m working on keeping my eyes focused on God, and not on anything earthly.

    “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it …”

  4. Glenna Garcia says:

    Sweet Erin is a very smart young lady. I think all young people should read this blog today. I know a young adult struggling with this on a daily basis. The big problem though and the reason she struggles is she let God slip out of her life. There is no self worth without Him!

  5. jasonS says:

    What a wonderful breakdown, Trey. We have to model this and teach it to our kids. Great stuff. Thank you.

  6. Greg England says:

    Erin sounds a lot like our daughter. Absolutely beautiful inside and outside, but doesn’t give a lot of thought to the typical issues of self worth.

    As for me, I can say if a man bases self worth on his, just wait until he hits his late 60s!! It’s good, but different and certainly not the basis of self worth.

    I base mine more these days on God’s opinion of me (when I’m in a real spiritual frame of mind) but mostly on my wife’s opinion of me and what good, trusted friends think about me.

    Good thoughts today from you, Trey. But I expect that from you.

  7. Sarah S. says:

    Today I had someone gently let me know what a crummy friend I’ve been (I walked into it asking, are we okay? you seem distant — I should learn not to ask). Because I was distracted by that, I failed to get something at the store my daughter wanted, demoting my mom status. However, I did get my hair done today, so I’m rockin’ that.

    I base my self worth on all of these things, plus
    *how people are treating my spouse
    *my clothing size
    *how many people are reading my blog or like my Facebook status (I’m being very open here, Trey!)
    *my children
    *my ability (or lack of) to clean and/or decorate a house!
    *my writing

    Oh, my stars, I literally could be here all day.

    I so needed this today. I, too, am SO thankful for the maturity of that young lady to recognize that, as Christians, our value comes in the One who created us. Thank Erin for me!

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Sarah … I hear you, AND I bet the hair looks fantastic!!! My self-worth can be effected by a lot of things in my day. And I’ll admit … blog readers and facebook status worry everyone. As for Erin, I hope she reads this later today.

  8. Jo Baird says:

    Very good message today, Trey. It’s relevant to every age. One thing I’ve noticed in life is that you show me a young person with poor self-esteem and you will find a parent who spent their life with one also. That’s speaking in generalities of course.

  9. NB says:

    What is my self-worth based on?
    -my job performance.
    -if I can juggle my mom duties well.
    -my weight or the number of calories I consume.
    -my marriage.
    -my ability to organize, focus, and pay attention to detail.
    -if I can be nice to everyone.
    -a clean house.
    -others’ opinions of me.
    -my ability to problem solve and figure things out for myself.
    -being able to do things on my own without asking for help.
    -being able to think of others first/helping others.
    -avoiding mistakes/embarrassing moments.
    -being able to handle criticism and not let it affect me.

  10. Jennie Lee says:

    Trey, since I am probably the oldest one to yet comment, let me say that I have experienced all of the above—they just changed with the seasons of my life. In this “fall” season I now find myself in, I have realized that we can spend our entire lives thinking of only self, and not live the life God had planned and intended for us. We can become so self saturated, that we totally miss the blessings God has for us–mainly, knowing Him and just how much he loves and cares for us. It is a struggle to die to self, but wouldn’t it be sad in our last days to have to say what the poet said, “of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘it might have been’ “.

  11. […] A Christian’s Self-Worth by Trey Morgan (treymorgan.net). This post gives us a straightforward list of where we often try to find our worth and where we should be looking. Good stuff. […]

  12. Ginger Wilson says:

    Great post Trey….Things I battle with in the self-worth category….
    #1…my weight….I grew up a skinny girl and now I think about how I look 24/7….
    #2…My children…will they follow the path they are supposed to? If not, what could I have done better?
    #3…My husband…do I still catch his eye?
    #4…My job…I want to be able to “fix” every single technology problem at school. It’s just not possible, but I often feel disappointed if there is something I just cannot solve.

    Trust me, the list goes on. I have to get out of that and think your post was one to print so I could read daily. :)

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
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