Being from Texas, I’ve found out that most people automatically think you’re a redneck and that you listen to Country music. Although I like NASCAR I’m really not a redneck, and I’ve never been a big fan of Country music. But I must admit Country music has the best song titles ever. So since we haven’t had much fun on the blog this week I thought I’d poke-fun (ever heard that phrase) at those who are really redneck country music fans.
Top 10 Signs You’re at a Redneck Wedding:
- Your rehearsal dinner held at the Waffle House.
- Instead of “Friends of the bride or friends of the groom?” ushers ask “Ford Or Chevy?”
- Bridesmaids: Pink Tube Tops; Groomsmen: Travis Tritt T-Shirts
- Phrase “I Do” replaced by “I Heard That.”
- Tender rendition of “The Wedding Song” performed by Hank Williams Jr.
- When the minister asks “Who giveth this woman to be married”… some guy in the back stands up and hollers “Earnhardt! Yee Haw”
- Reception conversation includes the phrase, “So what have you been doing since Hee Haw has been off the air?”
- Snack trays at reception: Vienna sausages and Nacho Cheese Doritos
- Plans for the honeymoon include tickets to the monster truck rally & NASCAR racing at Talladega.
- Sign in front of the church: No Shirt… No Shoes… No Problem!
10 Actual Country Music Song Titles:
- Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cause I m Kissing You Good-bye
- She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
- You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
- I’m Still Missing You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin Better
- I Wouldn’t Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win
- I’m So Miserable Without You, It s Like Having You Here
- If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now
- Mama Get a Hammer, There’s a Fly On Papa’s Head
- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
10 Country Music Songs I’d Like to Write and Sing to Lea (if I actually liked Country music):
- She Thinks My Preaching is Sexy
- If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow Them All On You
- Honey, Don’t Let Your Negligee Turn Into a Flannel Nightgown
- Baby If Love Were Oil, I’d Be A Quart Low
- Wake Me Up When There’s a Wreck (The NASCAR Ballad)
- If You Were a Booger, I’d Pick you First
- Jesus, Take the Wheel ‘Cause There’s a Smokey on My Tail
- If You Leave, Please Don’t Take My NIV.
- Nobody is Look’n, So Scoot Over and Let’s Snuggle on the Church Pew
- I’ll Like Your NASCAR Driver When the Waffle House Decides to Close
Romantic aren’t I? I know what you’re probably thinking, “Lea sure is a lucky girl to have Trey for a husband.”