Comments on: PUTTING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE YOUR KIDS

By: Dean S

Dean S — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 17:10:18 +0000

Nice practical article on improving marriage. Thanks.
Dean

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:57:46 +0000

As an older woman who raised a big family, I knew that my husband and I didn't have much alone time together. We sqeezed in everything we could though. The children are grown now and busy with their families. I guess we did something right as we still enjoy being home and doing what little we can do. We are happy & God is ever present. Good post, you are right on.

By: vanilla

vanilla — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:56:07 +0000

Josh & Trey, I appreciate your responses, which, of course, are spot on. This old man sometimes gets a bit cranky and lets his contrarian side show.

I should remind myself more often of the scriptural injunction to "let your yea be yea," etc.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:53:58 +0000

Oh, Vanilla, how sad if at 75 you haven't a strong relationship with your mate – if he or she is still living. The children will always need you in some capacity, but if your marriage is loving and strong, and the children learn to make their own marriages strong from seeing the good example, then you can count yourself blessed. They will not turn against you. There won't be any need to "reconnect." My almost 60 years with the love of my life is still strong through my children, though I have to go on alone. Jeanne M.

By: TREY MORGAN

TREY MORGAN — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:53:39 +0000

Vanilla … Josh said it well. It's about priority … both take priorities, just don't put your marriage on hold for the sake of raising your children. It's about correct balance.

By: Joshua Tucker

Joshua Tucker — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:41:51 +0000

Vanilla – Trey is not promoting not spending time with your kids, just not at the expense of your marriage. I happen to know that Trey spends a lot of time with and talks with his kids very often. He even wrote "raising your children should be of utmost importance."He's just saying that you can't let your marriage become less of a priority in the process of being a good parent. It's Biblical, and it makes sense.

By: That Girl

That Girl — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:50:53 +0000

I once mentioned to my mother that as a child, I knew that Daddy was more important than my brother and I were. She answered, "Of course, he is! I knew I only had to live with you for about 20 years – I had to live with him for the rest of my life!" It was funny but they always gave me a wonderful example of what a great marriage should be like.

By: vanilla

vanilla — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:53:47 +0000

and what your kids remember when you are 75 and hoping to reconnect with them: "You always did stuff with (Mom, Dad) and never had time to do what (I, we) wanted." Implication: so why should I have time for you now?

By: Stoogelover

Stoogelover — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 18:23:58 +0000

We find ourselves helping more and more to help our son out since they are raising three children, all under three! (Twins and a 2-1/2-year-old) It's almost as if we're raising kids again (at times) and I'm finding it often interferes with my relationship with my wife. Creates a bit of conflict now and then, but I don't know that our son would have any time to spend on his marriage if we were not helping.

Good words, Trey.

By: Scott

Scott — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:31:48 +0000

Trey, you are spot on! Your relationship with your spouse comes second only to God. I will never forget how angry a young mother was when she first heard me say that. She could not believe that Amy or i would put each other before our precious child.

Thanks for the reminders

By: Carolyn

Carolyn — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:14:20 +0000

Once again, Trey, an AWESOME post. I think many of us get "caught up" in raising our children and taking time out for them, that we forget to take time out for our spouse(and ourselves). Your list of ways to "reconnect" are great. Thanks for sharing! Also, sorry I missed you on the radio…I'm sure you inspired many out there. GOD BLESS!

By: Karin

Karin — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:41:29 +0000

Great post! With 44 years of marriage behind us, I can definitely say you are absolutely right!!! Thanks for teaching and mentoring couples!

By: Tim Archer

Tim Archer — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:12:39 +0000

I'm sure you did great on Kim's program. Thanks for all you do to promote the health of our families!

Grace and peace,
Tim Archer