I too had a husband who involved himself with pornography from the very beginning. As your writer described, it was the end of our relationship from the very beginning of our wedding vows.

After 20+ years of marriage, he walked away leaving everyone he’d known – including his children and friends. It came to light following our divorce that the pornography led him to explore with other women all throughout our marriage.

The tangled web of deception that the enemy weaves through this doesn’t just impact the involved spouse, but every other relationship, including children, parents, siblings,etc. The enemy seeks to rob, destroy and kill all relationships – and this is one of the adversary’s best tools.

God has brought incredible healing to my life and the life of my children. There are still wounds that many years later manifest themselves and still need healing. I am grateful that God is patient and His greatest desire is to see us whole!

Thank you for allowing us space to share our stories and for the tenderness and compassion, yet boldness for addressing this topic!

Blessings!!

http://www.xxxchurch.com is another good one (the name is misleading, it’s against pornography).

One of the things the site points out is the enormous cultural shift in pornography. 50 years ago pornography, while a temptation, was harder to get to. You had to actually go to a store and buy a video or magazine. You had to give effort to find it.

Flash forward to now, and times are much different. Pornography is easily available on any tv or computer with the click of a button, and sometimes without it (dirty emails, pop-ups etc.)

Whereas one had to give effort to find pornography in the past, one actually has to give effort to AVOID it now. It’s everywhere.

Since this is true, we can’t be careful enough about avoiding it… at all costs.

My marriage was also plagued with pornography and sexual addiction, and I agree with your writer’s comments about it destroying the intimacy of a marriage.

I have spent many years in a group for friends and families of sex addicts, and have heard the same story countless times.

I fear the problem is more prevalent than anyone could know, and certainly more prevalent than we care to admit.

Thank you for bringing this topic into the light.

There was an article in our city journal entitled, “Mormons discover joy of sex, but only with a spouse.” I wrote a letter which was then published in the same paper.

Re: Mormons discover joy of sex, but only with a spouse.

“The joy of sex within the context of marriage between a husband and wife was our Creator’s original intent and remains so to this day. When we take it upon ourselves to ‘improve’ on a perfect design, however, we invariably make a mess of things. Sexual deviations and perversions may briefly satisfy lust, but leave a profound emptiness of soul, which begs for more and more of the same unrewarding activities, invariably followed by a deadly downward spiral of bondage from which it is difficult to escape.

Why so many have headaches, become unfaithful, get into pornography, use sex to control their spouse, lose their playfulness when the children arrive, are always too tired, feel guilty and dirty, and deny themselves this ultimate joy within their marriage, I’ll never figure out. There is absolutely no ceiling on the pleasure a husband and wife can experience when they are committed to each other’s happiness! It’s guilt free, fulfilling, thrilling ecstasy! And it’s not only for Mormons.”

Will continue to pray for those caught in that deadly spiral.

Keep up the good work.

I appreciate your willingness to address the taboo issues, the ones we never address publically. I also appreciate the sharing of this letter and the openness of the one who wrote it.

I have become a firm believer that we have hidden behind masks for far too long in the church and will only experience true growth as a body and individuals whenever we begin to remove the masks and embrace one another for who we are — sinners saved by grace.

I will continue to pray for your efforts through this blog. Keep up the good work.