Remember those cliches that came out of your parents’ mouths that made your skin crawl? If you are like most of us, you probably swore to yourself that you would never say “those things” to your kids. I can vividly remember thinking to myself, “I’m NEVER going to use that phrase with my kids.” And now, from time to time I catch myself dipping into the unholy bucket of lame parental cliches.
The following are some parental cliches and phrases that are used by parents. Some of them are funny and some are not a healthy part of a relationship with a child. THE BAD:
- “Because I said so!” – This phrase is used by parents when a child asks “Why?”, but the parent really doesn’t have a good answer.
- “I’ve had it up to ‘here’ with you!” – This phrase is used in conjunction with the parent pointing to their eyebrow area of their head. Meaning, I’m “this close” to snuffing out your life.
- “And if Joey goes and jumps off a bridge are you going to jump off too?” – A parental favorite used as a comeback when a child has just whined, “But everyone else is doing it!”
- “One of these days when you’re a parent, you’ll understand.” – Another parental favorite that is used when a child has said, “I just don’t understand why!”
- “Don’t you look at me like that!” – Usually a phrased used by an angry parent who has just chewed their child up one side and down the other. The child is now unhappy and his face shows it.
- “N-O! no!” – The spelling of the word “no” for emphasis to your child who has just asked to do something you’d never let them do. This is particularly impressive to teenagers who love to hear their parents spell the word “N-O” to them (NOT).
- “How many times do I have to tell you?” – A phrase used by an impatient, frustrated parents who has had to tell their child something more than once. Something we never need, right?
- “You just wait until your father gets home.” – Meaning you should pack your bags and RUN AWAY now. Death is certain.
- “I hope someday you have children just like you.” – This is an insult of the most personal kind. It insinuates first that the child is enough of a nuisance that you hope they one day understand how it feels to be in your position. Never, ever use this phrase!
- And let’s not leave out “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” or “Don’t make me come in there!”
THE GOOD:
- I love you.
- I’m proud of you.
- I’m glad you asked.
- Thanks for checking in.
- I forgive you.
- Thank you.
- I appreciate you.
- You can do it.
- Don’t give up.
- No matter what, I’m here for you.
- Did you have a good day?
- Good job.
You know, children are inquisitive. If they ask a question, try and give them an answer. A real answer. If you don’t have a good answer, don’t tell them, “No.” If they ask why, they may not be trying to challenge your authority, they may just want to know “Why?” While it might be inconvenient at times, do try to avoid empty meaningless cliches and phrases.
God has given us the gift of speech. How we use it will make a difference in our children’s lives? Words and phrases can hurt, cut and wound for a lifetime, but words can also heal. Words can build up or tear down. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). What we need to do is “Encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13). Let’s use our words each day to do just that!
What are some of the cliches or phrases your parents used??
(Comment of the Day: Stoogelover said… “When my dad would reach the end of his patience with us, he would say, “I’m fixing to cloud up and rain all over you.”Because we could never see anything right before our eyes, mom would tell us, “If it had been a snake, it would have bitten you.”Not too many years before mom died, she told us how exasperated she and dad would be with our generation because we wanted answers and they never, ever questioned their parents. “Because I told you” just didn’t fly with us but they took our questions as rebellion. She actually apologized for not knowing better how to respond to our questions.”)
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 21 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
In a text message from across a crowded corn feild maze to your teen age daughter!
“Step away from the boy.”
Of course you need to slow down and not get too excited, and make sure that you are texting the right person:)
Great post!
My mother used to say, “You on my last nerve!” She said that to my youngest brother once and he said, “How much nerve do I have left?” He was 3 at the time. The rest of the family got in trouble because we were in the floor laughing.
I used to tell Shalane to “kill” them with kindness…until she asked how long that would take!!
I love this video, it has every cliche or phrase a parent has ever said.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYZ7EMoMu64
One of my mom’s fave was, “Stop cryin, or I will give you something to cry about!!!” =)
gallagher,
another way to put it:
“I’ve got one nerve left, and your stepping all over it”
How about Bill Cosby statement to Theo!
“I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out, make another one that looks just like you.”
Soon after though he did tell him he loved him.
My mother would tell my brother and me… “The next time you (whatever), I’m going to scream!” I remember the day she actually screamed – it wasn’t a good day!
Regrettably I did use some of those stupid cliches occasionally. Most of the time I kept my resolve not to repeat the parenting errors done with us at home. HOWEVER, I’m sure that I made some new errors! My mother’s favorite phrase was,
“Why can’t you be like your sister?” To this day – she’s 89! I have a daughter who has my sister’s temperament. So now she says, ‘You’re daughter is not like you.’
I will never measure up. When I realized that I can also never measure with the Lord just as I am, it was then I joyfully accepted that that’s why the Savior came! None of us can!
Or have I got that all wrong?
When my dad would reach the end of his patience with us, he would say, “I’m fixing to cloud up and rain all over you.”
Because we could never see anything right before our eyes, mom would tell us, “If it had been a snake, it would have bitten you.”
Not too many years before mom died, she told us how exasperated she and dad would be with our generation because we wanted answers and they never, ever questioned their parents. “Because I told you” just didn’t fly with us but they took our questions as rebellion. She actually apologized for not knowing better how to respond to our questions.
My favorite is, “if you cut off your legs doing that, don’t come running to me.”
When counting to three my mother found out I would wait right up til the last e to start forming on her lips before I would comply. One day she said she was going to count to three. She sais “one, three.” Talk about being caught off gaurd. I then learned slow obediance is no abediance.
this has nothing to do with parenting but instead of emailing my support letters im just going to email my blog address and do it like taylor and let them read it there….
Excellent post Trey.
I don’t think I used many of those
statements with my kids, and my parents didn’t use any of them with me. Look how good we turned out. lol Mom But I agree with your
post. I don’t believe parents should get into deep arguments over rules and “why not’s.” Start when they are young and just love them, and let them know you expect them to respect you. After all you are older, smarter. If you can’t teach them that when they are young you sure are going to have your hands full down the road.
like it or lump it.
I’ll give you something to cry about.
If I have to stop this car, you’ll be sorry.
“I’m gonna get your goat!” (what in the world does that mean?)and “I’m gonna pinch your head off!” or, while spanking, “I told you not to hit!” And the classic question, “Do you want me to spank you?!” I haven’t heard too many affirmative answers for that one.
“Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”
Whaaaaat?!?!?
Used when they were getting even with me…
And what about “I’m gonna take you down a notch or two.”
When I would lament the unfairness of my dad, he would always retort “Boy we ain’t runnin’ no fair here”.
Not much you can say back to that one.
my mama has always said “This too will pass”. We used to think it was in the Bible! But she is right – it generally does.
Bobby’s great grandmother always said “Let’s just think of the good”.
Favorites! Both of them. Wish I were more like them!
Karin,
You do have it right. Your comment hurt my heart. God sees you as beautiful.
A few that I can remember quite well: (1) “I am sick and tired,” (2) “You’re walking on thin ice,” and (3) never forget that infamous calling out your entire name, including the middle one.
Thanks Trey! I made sure to tell my kids they were beautiful to me as well as to God! Oh yes, and my dad used to say, “Go ahead and cry, then you don’t have to pee so much.” I still laugh about that one!
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I love the Bill Cosby routine when he talked about his mother’s favorite line, “I’m sick and tired of blah, blah, blah.”
He said the worse beating he ever received was when his mother said, “I’m sick —” and he finished with “and tired.”
My Dad still says, “you are old enough your wants won’t hurt you”.
I was guilty when my kids were little of saying the “last nerve” thing. One time my daughter told me to go buy some more. I think she thought I was saying Nerds (candy), anyway that broke me from that little habit…
My dad used to tell us to “hang loose” and “spread out” when we needed to calm down. Also, “cool it.”
My mom used to say “I’ve had it up to here!” and she would put her hand to her neck. I also remember the day her hand went over her head. I knew we had gone too far.
What about, "Don't make me pull this car over!"
My grandmother used to say to my father "I wish you on you" another version of what Trey has already mentioned above.
And my father has said to my MANY times that "life isn't fair" in response to the "that's not fair" whine. I often find myself using this one.