A year or so ago while on a trip, my family of six ate at a nice sit down restaurant. It was one of those “order off the menu” places. When the food came we all enjoyed a good tasting meal, but 3 of the 4 boys said, “We’re still hungry, is there anything else to eat?” We’d just dropped $50 on a meal that didn’t fill half the family up.

Since that day, when we do eat out, we hit the buffets and no one leaves hungry. Places like Furrs, Golden Corral and Ci Ci’s have become regular stops on out of town trips.

But living in a small town like Childress, your options are limited. We have only about a dozen places to eat. But our favorite has quickly become the Chinese Buffet 2. And since it’s the #2, we’ve nicknamed this little place “The Deuce.” Funny thing is that the name has kind of stuck around church and the community. We hear people all the time referring to the Chinese Buffet #2 as “The Deuce.”

The owners and operators are Lee and Yen. A sweet couple that moved here from New York. Since we eat in there a lot, Yen and I have become pretty good friends. Yen’s English is often hard to understand, but her smile communicates enough. Her husband, Lee, speaks very little English, so we haven’t got to know each other as well. Sometimes, when it’s been a while since we’ve eat there, we’ll come in and Yen will greet us with a, “Where you bean?” in her Chinese accent.

When someone in our family has a birthday, that person gets to pick where they want to eat their birthday supper. Five out of six of our family will want the Deuce (Lea’s a good sport about all of this). Last month on my birthday when we were eating there, Yen found out it was my birthday and brought me out a big plate of fresh crab legs. Um.

The nice thing about The Deuce? We like the food and when we leave there, every one’s full.

So, where is your favorite place to eat?

My 5 year-old son Cooper, climbed up in my lap last night with three books to read: The Giant Jam Sandwich, Owly and Great White Sharks. Usually included in his stack of books to read is “The Three Little Pigs.” I think he likes it because dad can do a pretty mean “Big Bad Wolf” voice.

As I have read the the story of the three little pigs throughout the years, there are some obvious things that caught my attention:

• The pigs are great builders. It’s amazing what they can do with a few sticks and a little straw.
• I’m amazed at how fast these little fat pigs are. They can out run a wolf.
• I think if the wolf can “huff” and “puff” hard enough to blow a house down, that may be why he can’t catch the little pigs … he’s out of breath.
• The third pig is obviously a harder worker than his two lazy brothers. A brick house will always take longer to build than a house of straw and a house of sticks.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY: The third pig knew that there was a certain kind of house he could build that the Big Bad Wolf couldn’t blow down. Wow, what a spiritual lesson. So, I have to ask myself, “What kind of house (life) am I building?” The Big Bad Wolf (Satan) will come, and he’s going to huff and puff and do everything he can to blow my house down. So, what’s my spiritual house made of? Straw, sticks or bricks? Is my the foundation of my life built upon Jesus?

• A CHRISTMAS CARD I CARRY IN MY BIBLE: I have carried this card for years. It was given to me by a young lady named Cindy. Cindy’s dad was an alcoholic who I spent a lot of time talking with over a cup of coffee. One day he mentioned “getting cleaned up” and getting off the alcohol. I called his hand on it, and he did what he said. To this day, 9 1/2 years later, he’s still dry. The first Christmas following him drying out, his beautiful 17 year-old daughter sent me a Christmas card that said, “Thanks for giving me back my dad.” I was floored she felt this way, because I really had done nothing more than be his friend. So I have always carried that card in my Bible as a “memorial stone,” to remind me how easy it is to make a difference in someone’s life and not even know it. “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water… (Matthew 10:42)”

• A BOX OF CARDS: In the top of my closet you’ll find a shoe box full of “Get Well” cards that I received back in 2003 when I was diagnosed with cancer. Over 200 cards, letters and notes from people everywhere. I have cards from friends, family and people I never met. All of them telling me that they are praying for me to get well. That summer was a dark time in my life and those cards meant everything to me. Every May, on my cancer anniversary date, I take that shoebox full of cards are read them. They are my memorial stone that reminds me of other’s love and God’s kindness to me.

• AN OLD BIBLE: In my office you’ll find an old Bible that belonged to my father. My father passed away when I was only a child. I really have no real memories of him. I do have the Bible he carried. In it are verses he’s highlighted with a marker and notes that he’s written in the column. It gives me some insight into who he was and what he thought about God. It’s the memorial stone that serves to remind me that I came from a Godly heritage and if I’ll continue to walk in the light I will meet him someday.

• A PICTURE OF MY 4 BOYS: You will always find a picture of my boys on or around my desk. It’s my memorial stone that reminds me that God has blessed me richly. It also reminds me that I have a huge responsibility to be an example to them, and that the things I say and do will directly or indirectly influence them in a positive or negative way.

Lea and I have always tried to attend marriage seminars, His Needs/Her Needs training and other things that build our relationship. I think every couple will agree, “We want the best marriages possible.” If my marriage is bad, I want to make it good. If my marriage is good, I want to make it great. If it’s great, I want to make it even better. But just like anything else, marriage takes work. Sometime hard work. Good marriages don’t just happen by accident.

According to Dr. Willard Harley’s book called His Needs/Her Needs. Here are the top needs of husbands & Wives:

A Husband’s Top 5 Needs:
Sexual Fulfillment
Recreational Companionship
An Attractive Spouse
Domestic Support
Admiration

A Wife’s Top 5 Needs:
Affection
Conversation
Honesty and Openness
Financial Support
Family Commitment

A wonderful Gospel preacher from years ago named Ira North used to preach a lesson called, “Help for husbands and Wisdom for wives.” His lists looked something like this.

What A Husband wants in a Wife:
A wife that will be his playmate
A wife that will dress with the aim of pleasing her husband
A wife that will give him lots of admiration
A wife who’s not dominating and controlling
A wife who’s warm and wonderful

What a Wife wants in a Husband:
A husband that will continually court her
A husband that will communicate in a caring way
A husband that will give the family plenty of time
A husband that will serve her cheerfully
A husband that will be the spiritual leader in the home

Dr. Harley in his book Love Busters tells us that there are a few things that kill relationships. He calls them Love Busters and lists six:

Love Busters:
Selfish demands: Who wants to live with a dictator?
Disrespectful judgements: Who wants to live with a critic?
Angry Outbursts: Who wants to live with a time bomb?
Dishonesty: Who wants to live with a liar?
Annoying Habits: Who wants to live with a dripping faucet?
Independent Thinking: Who wants to live with an inconsiderate jerk?

Helpful Marriage Links:
Dr. Willard Harley’s Marriage Builders
Family Dynamics
Focus on The Family

So here’s my challenge to you and I (hold me accountable) this weekend: Let’s take the list above, show it to our spouses and ask them how their needs stack up to these here. Find out what his/her top 5 needs are and then make it your goal to focus on those needs this next week. Hey, why not? It’s Valentine’s Day next week.

1. I Don’t Like Church 2. Trey, Tell Me God Won’t Take My Baby 3. Real Church 4. A Few Things I Think About Grace 5. Toilet Lids, A Male Bonding Weekend & God’s Will Tomorrow we’ll finish up some “family’ things as we look at marriage.

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