Overcoming Sexual Temptation

Here are a few things I found written down in an old journal this week that I’d like to share with you. Let’s start with a quiz. These aren’t trick questions, and they’re not hard. But play along if you will.

  • Who was physically the strongest man in the Bible? (Samson)
  • Who was the wisest man in the Bible? (Solomon)
  • Who was the one in the Bible called “a man after God’s own heart?” (David)
  • What did they have in common?  All of them, the strongest man in the Bible, the smartest man in the Bible and arguably the most godly man in the Bible – all of them struggled with sexual temptation AND LOST.

Sexual temptation is obviously something I need to pay attention to. What it’s telling me is I am not so strong, I am not so smart and I am not so godly … that I cannot crash and burn when it comes to sexual temptation. I am NOT beyond falling into this temptation, and when I think I am, I may be the most vulnerable. “If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you too may fall into the same sin.” (1 Corinthians 10:12)

Here are some things I think are important for me to know in overcoming sexual temptation:

  • CONTROL WHAT YOU SEE: Men, we are very visual, so remove anything (television, internet, books, etc) from your home that might tempt you. Don’t go anywhere you cannot handle. Learn to keep your eyes in check like Job when he said 31:1, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.
  • ASK FOR GOD’S HELP: God has promised, you will not be tempted more that what you can bear. Also remember that Jesus even suggested in the “Lord’s Prayer” that when we pray we say, “…and lead us not into temptation…”
  • PURSUE YOUR WIFE (or HUSBAND): Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t. Put your effort into pursuing the person you married by growing in your marriage. DON’T be like the idiot I met years ago who said after checking out a woman who walked by, “I may be on a diet, but it won’t hurt anything to check out the menu.” I wasn’t surprised that his marriage didn’t last very long. Men … NEVER flirt with a woman you’re not married to, and DON’T stop flirting with the woman you married. And wives, if he’s going to pursue you … make yourself worthy of pursing. Seriously men … pursue YOUR wife.
  • BE ACCOUNTABLE: Find another person that you trust that can keep you accountable. When you struggle tell them to pray for you and have them hold you accountable for overcoming your struggles. One of the greatest defenses I have in staying pure is a couple of men friends that are willing to talk about marriage and struggles with me.
  • WIVES, DON’T STARVE YOUR HUSBANDS: Too many times I’ve listened to wives whine about their husbands’ struggles with lust when all along it was the wife who was starving their husbands sexually. Don’t starve your husband sexually and then berate him for his hunger. If you want to protect your husband, do what the Bible says and fulfill one another’s sexual needs (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Don’t deprive him, or you’ll make his struggle to be pure harder. (For more on this topic click here). Strive for a healthy, happy sex life in your marriage.

One of these days my funeral will come. I COULD CARE LESS if anyone mentions if I was a good minister or could preach a good sermon. I DO NOT CARE if anyone mentions that I ever helped anyone. MY ONLY GOAL, as they stand over my dead body, is that they say,“He was faithful to God, his wife, and he was a good dad!”

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
9 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Rob says:

    This “Children’s” song comes to mind

    Be careful Little eyes what you see…
    Be careful Little eyes what you see…
    For the Father up above is looking down with love
    so Be careful Little eyes what you see…

    Be careful little hands what you do…..

    Be careful little feet where you go….

    I’m sure there are more verses but I believe your environment has a profound influence on your choices.

    I also believe that you move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts.

    Thanks for your thoughts today.

  2. Amy O'Connor says:

    Great post ,Trey! Men aren’t the only ones who struggle with sexual temptation, though. It has affect my marriage from both sides but communication, honesty, and openness have help tremendously. Not to mention lots of one on one time with God.

  3. Michael Wong says:

    As a nonbeliever, I’m not going to agree with all of your advice (shutting yourself away from all visual temptation is kind of impossible; are you seriously going to avoid ever going to a beach again?).

    But I do like the bit about how you must keep pursuing your spouse and flirting with her. When two people start dating, they’re a couple of lovebirds, and this often dies over the years, in part because people stop doing that stuff. I have a couple of other suggestions:

    1) Sleep in separate beds. I know this is heretical, and the only reason we started doing this was because my dog snored loudly and cried if he couldn’t sleep in the same room with me. She couldn’t sleep with him in the room, so both the dog and me moved to a different room. But we discovered that when we did that, then sharing a bed because “special” again. We only share a bed when we’re going to be intimate, so we associate bed-sharing wth intimacy again, not with everyday humdrum life. Also, researchers have found that co-sleeping reduces the amount of sleep people get, so they both feel more tired, which isn’t good for anyone’s mood.

    2) Role-play. If a man is going to forsake all other women in the whole world, it kind of helps if his wife is willing to become other women, at least for a little while. Also, it’s a lot of fun. I know some people might read bad motivations into it (because that’s what some people always do) and consider it a weird form of not-quite-fidelity because you’re imagining someone who acts different from your wife, but role-play is a harmless and incredibly basic form of play for all humans. Just look at children, who LOVE to role-play and pretend they’re someone they’re not.

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Michael … I want to say thanks for leaving a comment. Believe or non-believer … everyone is welcome.

      You bring up some good points. I don’t shut myself from the beach, but I can control my eyes and my thoughts. IF I was unable to do those two things, I’d shut myself away from the beach.

      I like your thoughts on #1 and #2.

  4. Michael, there’s a story about an old fellow who was asked why he and his late wife slept in separate beds all the years of their marriage – and why he kept a fedora hanging on his bedpost. “When we turned it at night, I would toss the hat over to her bed. Sometimes she would toss it back. Sometimes she would bring it back.”

  5. And women struggle with sexual temptation as well. Life is so much better when you keep that temptation under God’s control and follow those rules outlined.

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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