Here are a few things I found written down in an old journal this week that I’d like to share with you. Let’s start with a quiz. These aren’t trick questions, and they’re not hard. But play along if you will.
- Who was physically the strongest man in the Bible? (Samson)
- Who was the wisest man in the Bible? (Solomon)
- Who was the one in the Bible called “a man after God’s own heart?” (David)
- What did they have in common? All of them, the strongest man in the Bible, the smartest man in the Bible and arguably the most godly man in the Bible – all of them struggled with sexual temptation AND LOST.
Sexual temptation is obviously something I need to pay attention to. What it’s telling me is I am not so strong, I am not so smart and I am not so godly … that I cannot crash and burn when it comes to sexual temptation. I am NOT beyond falling into this temptation, and when I think I am, I may be the most vulnerable. “If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you too may fall into the same sin.” (1 Corinthians 10:12)
Here are some things I think are important for me to know in overcoming sexual temptation:
- CONTROL WHAT YOU SEE: Men, we are very visual, so remove anything (television, internet, books, etc) from your home that might tempt you. Don’t go anywhere you cannot handle. Learn to keep your eyes in check like Job when he said 31:1, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.“
- ASK FOR GOD’S HELP: God has promised, you will not be tempted more that what you can bear. Also remember that Jesus even suggested in the “Lord’s Prayer” that when we pray we say, “…and lead us not into temptation…”
- PURSUE YOUR WIFE (or HUSBAND): Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t. Put your effort into pursuing the person you married by growing in your marriage. DON’T be like the idiot I met years ago who said after checking out a woman who walked by, “I may be on a diet, but it won’t hurt anything to check out the menu.” I wasn’t surprised that his marriage didn’t last very long. Men … NEVER flirt with a woman you’re not married to, and DON’T stop flirting with the woman you married. And wives, if he’s going to pursue you … make yourself worthy of pursing. Seriously men … pursue YOUR wife.
- BE ACCOUNTABLE: Find another person that you trust that can keep you accountable. When you struggle tell them to pray for you and have them hold you accountable for overcoming your struggles. One of the greatest defenses I have in staying pure is a couple of men friends that are willing to talk about marriage and struggles with me.
- WIVES, DON’T STARVE YOUR HUSBANDS: Too many times I’ve listened to wives whine about their husbands’ struggles with lust when all along it was the wife who was starving their husbands sexually. Don’t starve your husband sexually and then berate him for his hunger. If you want to protect your husband, do what the Bible says and fulfill one another’s sexual needs (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Don’t deprive him, or you’ll make his struggle to be pure harder. (For more on this topic click here). Strive for a healthy, happy sex life in your marriage.
One of these days my funeral will come. I COULD CARE LESS if anyone mentions if I was a good minister or could preach a good sermon. I DO NOT CARE if anyone mentions that I ever helped anyone. MY ONLY GOAL, as they stand over my dead body, is that they say,“He was faithful to God, his wife, and he was a good dad!”