One Of The BIGGEST Mistakes Couples Make In Their Marriage

By far, one of the easiest ways for couples to kill their marriage is when they stop pursuing one another.

Your goal everyday should be to work just as hard to keep your spouse as you did to win him/her in the first place. Let me explain.

Before marriage you put a LOT of effort into trying to win your future husband’s/wife’s love and trust.  You spent hours communicating. You sent cards, gifts and flowers regularly. You pursued your future spouse and made it your goal to win them to be yours.

Sadly, as I’ve seen too many times, a few months (or sometimes years) after the marriage, you quit pursuing one another as you once did. For some reason couples quit dating one another, pursuing one another and putting the other first. Maybe it’s because you get lazy. Maybe it’s because deep down you think, “I’ve won him. He’s mine, so why must I continue to do all those things and work as hard as I did?” Personally, I think it’s because couples just get “comfortable” in their marriage … and that’s not good.

When you stop working to bless your spouse … problems begin to arise, cracks begin to form and the marriage relationship begins to break down. Due to frustrations you begin to close up and close one another off. You go from being soul-mates where intimacy was felt, to being simply roommates who just live together. When all this happens, needs quit being met and a couple is left wondering … “what happened to our marriage,” and “where did the person go that I married?” 

LISTEN … it is by far one of the most damaging things you can do in your marriage … not pursuing your spouse as hard to keep them as you did to win them!

Want to bless your marriage? Every morning when you wake up, ask yourself, “What can I do today to bless my spouse?”  THEN DO IT! Don’t get complacent in your marriage.

Husbands and wives … pursue your spouse … today!

“A man’s greatest treasure is his wife, she is a gift from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Trey Morgan tagged this post with: , , Read 1182 articles by
8 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Robert says:

    Great thought Trey. One of the best things my wife and I have recently went through was time apart from each other. I took off a week to go to Alabama by myself for educational reasons, and then she was asked to take care of her mother for the next week before I came back home. We were apart more or less two weeks. That created opportunities for us to get out of our rut and to really appreciate one another more when we were back together. I rarely encourage couples to be apart, but when you do take advantage of it by sending fun little facebook messages, chatting on the phone and of course flowers for the wives are good when you return. Good thoughts Trey!

  2. Greg England says:


  3. Amy O'Connor says:

    A sobering post, Trey. Thank you! Something I really needed to hear today.

  4. […] One Of The Biggest Mistakes Couples Make In Their Marriage by Trey […]

  5. SEO says:

    Ah the hunt. Yes, it does add spice to the marriage and keeps things quite interesting.

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  7. Greg says:

    Soo true. unfortunately i’m reading this after we are in the final stages, only a miracle will turn us around at this point. all the best to those that keep the fire going.

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • good list. Don't forget Nickelback, OJ, ISIS and beer-throwing Blue Jay fans.
  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
  • As crazy as it might sound, Chris Collinsworth just might be worse to listen to than the song Christmas Shoes.
  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
  • Unfortunately, not a great night for "bobcats." :)

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