Some of the excuses I hear when it comes to, why-I-couldn’t-come-to-worship-this-week are pretty lame. I wish people would just be honest and say, “I didn’t want to come,” instead of coming up with a crazy excuse.
To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday.”
- Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.”
- There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.
- Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.
- We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.”
- Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.
- Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list all the hypocrites present. A prominent space will be alloted at the top of the card for the cardholder to write his own name down first on that list.
- Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too.
- We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.
- One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
- Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
- The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.
- We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton for those who can!