Some of the excuses I hear when it comes to, why-I-couldn’t-come-to-worship-this-week are pretty lame. I wish people would just be honest and say, “I didn’t want to come,” instead of coming up with a crazy excuse.

I was sent the following this week that I thought was pretty funny.

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday.”

  • Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.”

  • There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.

  • Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.

  • We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.”

  • Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.

  • Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list all the hypocrites present. A prominent space will be alloted at the top of the card for the cardholder to write his own name down first on that list.

  • Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too.

  • We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.

  • One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.

  • Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.

  • The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.

  • We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton for those who can!
Can you think of any others?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
14 Comments Post a Comment
  1. jel says:

    it’s raining outside, and i might melt!

    I don’t have a thing to wear.

    don’t like to go by myself.

    just plum LAZY !

  2. Larissa says:

    That’s awesome! I’ve heard some pretty wild ones too…and sometimes for me that’s even hard, b/c I know how important it is for my kids to be there, and important for me to be there as well. It’s tough as a single mom getting three little ones there, but by the grace of God and great time management skills, I always have them there. I don’t say that to toot my own horn or anything, but I know there’s not an excuse good enough. I’m not one who believes you have to be there EVERY Sunday, but it is important, and it does strengthen a family and most importantly your faith.

  3. Anonymous says:

    nice! this will be in my bulletin at some point.

    weather is a big one. we are afraid of ice and snow, some christian face confiscation, persecution, and death to assemble


  4. Katherine says:

    Ha, that was great.

    I have to admit that I have used the excuse before, and even very recently (not today) that I don’t want to go because I will go, sit, and leave alone…again. (Of course that has depended on where I am-usually I end up very involved or am interning, which changes everything). This could be a whole post in itself about single people and church 😉

    While it may seem lame to some, and sometimes it is legit because church can, unfortunately feel like some of the loneliest times-every time I do push myself to get up and go, I am truly blessed…and I hate it when I let satan get the best of me.

    And…after Larissa’s post-I don’t believe I will be able to justify it again! Thanks for the perspective! :)

  5. Peter P says:

    Awesome Trey, but I have no way to get there.

  6. wjcsydney says:

    We have to make the assembly a place where everyone wants to be. Singles, marrieds who come without their unbelieving partners, flustered parents of young kids, those who don’t fit the mould. And we have to structure meetings so that we can encourage each other.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I just feel the need to quote some old lines that always impressed me.

    Excuses, excuses. You hear them every day. The devil he’ll supply them if from church you’ll stay away. When people come to worship God the devil always looses. So to keep those folks away from church, he offers them excuses.

    The focus should be on worshiping God.Unfortunately I think we are all tempted to loose focus.

  8. Anonymous says:

    How about that “contagious diseases” excuse? I’m afraid to go I might take this or that, etc. I do think people should stay home if they or their kids are real sick. There are some people who can’t handle even the coughing much less a flu bug or something.
    Good post as usual. gmj

  9. cwinwc says:

    How about a shorter room to meet in for those who feel church is “too long.” :)

  10. eastern ky pastor says:

    While in a crowded Walmart, i’ve been told, “Crowds make me have panic attacks.”

  11. AncientWanderer says:

    How about an attendance slip for those who think you have to be there every Sunday?

  12. Laura says:

    Probably should offer DVR for all of the people who are afraid they’ll miss the game. The church could even show it tape-delayed.

  13. Su says:

    If by “the game” you mean Wimbledon, then I’m with you. :) Of course, on Wimbledon Sunday, I don’t make excuses; I just skip church. One Sunday a year is okay, right?

  14. Peter P says:

    Does "Because I'm the pastor and I have no idea what to preach today" work as a valid excuse?

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
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  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
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