MY TWO DADS

My real dad, Ross, passed away of cancer when I was just a little boy. It hurts my heart to know that I didn’t know my dad, and that I don’t remember much about him. My biggest fear about having cancer a few years back was the one question I couldn’t answer, “If I die now, will my boys even be able to remember me?” That question haunted me. I didn’t want to be the dad they never knew and never built a relationship with. I didn’t want someone else raising my sons and them calling him, “Dad!” I want to be there for the big events in their lives. I wanted to make a difference in their lives. I still wrestle with that fear today, but God has opened my eyes to some things He wanted me to see.

After my dad died, God placed a very special uncle in my life that served as a father figure for a few years. As a little boy in a house full of girls, I needed a man in my life. My Uncle Bob served that role well until he and God could find me another dad, a replacement dad. My Uncle Bob introduced my mom to a man named Lawrence. Lawrence was a widower with four children. My mom and Lawrence were married in 1972. It was then that they took two young families and made them into one happy family of nine.

It didn’t take me long as that little boy until I had replaced the name “Lawerence” with “Dad.” God knew there was a little boy out there that needed a daddy, and He found me the best one available. I haven’t called Lawrence anything but “Dad” in past 35 years. He has been my father, and I can’t imagine ever having a better dad than him. He has filled the role of father in my life all these years, and he has done it extremely well.

I can’t even begin to imagine what it would have been like for my real dad, Ross, to look at his small children and know that he wouldn’t be the one raising them anymore. That he wouldn’t be there for his children during the most important events in their lives. I can only think of the fear he must have had wondering, “Who will raise my children,” and “Will they even remember me?” I have had those very same fears. The more I think about those fears, the more I pray to my God, “Lord, if I can’t raise my own boys, please send a Lawrence into their lives as their replacement dad.”

I pray to my God, “Lord, if I can’t raise my own boys, please send a
Lawrence into their lives as their replacement dad.”

For some reason, as I write this, I struggle to hold back some tears. Old scars, mixed emotions and some past fears all raise their ugly heads this morning. But as I write this, God reminds me why heaven will be so great. I’ll have two dads there. One I don’t remember that I’ll get to finally meet, and another that has blessed my life in countless ways. An eternity with two earthly fathers and one heavenly Father, you can’t get any better than that.

As Father’s Day rolls around this Sunday I’d like to pay honor to my two dads. The first one brought me into this world and left much too quickly, and the second gracefully accepted the role as father in the life of a little boy who desperately needed a dad.

Since I know my earthly dad will be reading this, I’d like to say, “Thank you, Dad, for taking on the role as father in my life. I love you very much.”

Happy Father’s Day!

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
28 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Stachia says:

    Once again, you forgot to post this will make you cry! I understand what you are talking about while I was fortunate to have my Mom until I was 19 she wasn’t here for my marriage, my kids being born, the breakup of my marriage, or a zillion other things but God put Granny Ann in my life and what a blessing she is. While God’s plan is sometime different from what we would think it always works out for the best in the end.

  2. Emma says:

    That was the sweetest blog I have ever read. I know God does everything for a reason and some day we will understand his plan. Maybe Lawrence needed a son like you. Can you imagine his fear of having to try to replace the Dad in your life? Man, that would be tough but he loved your Mom enough to do just that. Both of you were blessed and now you pass those blessings to your children…No one would ever take your place in the lives of your children..

    God just allows our hearts to expand and place extra love there for the Lawrences in our lives!!

    Happy Father’s Day Trey!

  3. TREY MORGAN says:

    Stachia … God’s good about meeting needs that we don’t understand. Sometime we’re just not patient enough to wait for Him to handle things.

    Emma … very well said! Thank you!

  4. Matthew says:

    This is very touching, I bet you felt that history was going to repeat itself. You knew how this felt and did not want your boys to go through this. It must have been difficult for you. I am thankful that you are doing well today and your boys have a great dad.

  5. NB says:

    Excellent post! I don’t know what to say, except… pass a tissue.

    I wish there were more Lawrences in the world.

    I’m sure you’ve made both of your dads smile.

    Have a great Father’s Day, Trey!

  6. nick gill says:

    God bless you, Trey.

    You honor all THREE of your fathers (points “upstairs” with a sheepish grin) with your grace and strength and your heart.

    I never knew either of my birth parents (I have a couple pictures of my mom in my mind, and a few Polaroids, but that’s it), so I know something about how you feel.

    Love,
    nick

  7. That Girl says:

    That’s beautiful!

  8. Preston Belt, Beautiful Downtown Lockney, Texas says:

    Trey,

    I can relate completely, except the me having cancer. I lost my real dad when I was 7 in a farming accident. I do have sweet memories of him! Riding on the fender of the tractor, him throwing me into the irrigation ditch to cool me off, taking me to worship, going to the gin and the elevator with him, just lots of good memories. Now he’s tilling the soil in Heaven. Like your mom, God put Joe Gayle in my mom’s life. They meshed us 4 kids together and we had an aweosme life. It did,t take me long for the “Joe Gayle” label to turn to “dad”. I will always love him for that. I think my divorce fits into the category of your cancer in a sense. I struggle daily with who’s influencing my girls. I have prayed for God to give me the strength and the knowledge to “be enough” for them. And enough for me is a broad topic. I pray to be their spiritual leader. I pray that I never get too far awy from them physically that when they need me I’m there.

    Here’s to those of us that strive to be the best dad’s we can be!

    P

  9. willow says:

    you are truly blessed

  10. Stoogelover says:

    You wrote, “For some reason, as I write this, I struggle to hold back some tears.” I struggled with tears as I read it … an unsuccessful struggle on my part. How did you do?

  11. leslie says:

    when i think of the subject of second fathers, i think of joseph… i’ve yet to hear a sermon of honor for him…perhaps it is our society… perhaps so much is unknown to us, or fearful.

    i think your posting is beautiful.

  12. TREY MORGAN says:

    Greg, at first I thought I didn’t do well because tears came, amazingly though, they made me feel better. It was therapeutic writing this morning.

  13. TREY MORGAN says:

    Thanks Leslie :)

    Preston … beautiful story!

  14. Shane Coffman says:

    Wow – what a tear-jerker of a post.

    Put me in the “tears” column. ; )

    Praise God for Ross, Lawrence, and Trey, and their special relationships.

  15. paul says:

    Happy Father’s Day, Trey. No need to hold the tears back. That is love pouring out.

    My dad died almost 39 year ago. I was ten. I still miss him. I still shed tears.

    I was given a “second dad” too but that didn’t last long either. I am thankful for the men who stepped into my life and provided a positive male role model for me.

    I pray that you may have many years ahead with your boys. Being a dad is a huge responsibility. I am sure you do it well.

  16. Michele says:

    I speak as a mother who has survived the death of a spouse and prays for a “Lawrence” to fullfill the role of father for my children.

    The “replacement” fathers are very honorable men and I applaud them for the roles they have played in your lives Trey and Preston.

    Happy Father’s Day to the men who are dad’s by birth or by choice.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Brandon: My dad left me 7 years ago and I haven’t been able to see him or talk to him. Lord let Trey and Mr. Shive be my advisors! :)

  18. johndobbs says:

    Trey, this is quite simply the best post you have ever written.

  19. TREY MORGAN says:

    Paul – It never goes away does it? Thanks Paul

    Michele – I pray you won’t give up asking God to send a “Lawrence” type person into your life and the lives of your children. Thanks for stopping by.

    John – Thank you.

  20. doug young says:

    This has been great to read.

    I got blessed this morning, instead of tomorrow morning, with personalized pancakes from my kids. Each decorated their respective pancakes for me. My son thought, since I like mustard so much, that my pancake from him would be decorated with my favorite yellow condiment. My middle child, Aby, put a small dab of ketchup right in the center of hers. Haylee, my oldest, made hers just like she thought I would want them.

    I ate them. It was tough, but what a moving scene to have my kids want that for me.

  21. Adam Gonnerman says:

    Wow. I have a step-daughter who I always refer to as “my daughter” (really confuses people sometimes, but that’s their problem). Her father is still alive, but never was there for her, from infancy until now. In practice, I’m the only father she knows. She calls me “daddy.” As I read your post, I began to hope and now also pray that when she grows up, she’ll be able to speak of me as you did of Lawrence.

    God bless.

  22. newheights says:

    beautiful post.

    Thanks.

  23. Lance Morrisett says:

    Thank you Trey for reminding me about how important our earthly fathers are to each of us. I am in a similar situation as you are. I knew my father very well, but it still hurts to know that I lost him at the age of 15. I also know that Clint was brought into my Mother’s life and my life to fill a void. Clint will never totally replace my father, but he has been an awesome replacement father in my life.

  24. Haley says:

    This was a very touching post, thanks for sharing it with me. Happy Father’s Day!!

  25. preacherman says:

    I hope you had a great Fathers Day brother.
    I know you are a great example for us dad’s.

  26. Donna says:

    Happy Father’s Day Trey. I am sure you have gleaned the best of both your Dads to pass on a great love to your boys.

    I sure am glad you are there still there for them.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Happy Father’s Day, Trey!

    I guess a tornado is the last present you wanted!!!

    Post quickly to let everyone know you are okay!!

    (I have already tried your cell phone!)

  28. Vivian says:

    Trey
    Add me to the list of folks that had a tear. Beautiful post. God bless you for your ability to share your life.
    Ms Viv

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
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