I love my marriage with Lea. It is my greatest and most valued treasure on this earth. After nearly twenty years of marriage, I feel like we have a strong marriage. It’s taken a lot of work over the years, and I understand now that the minute I start taking it for granted is the minute it will stop growing. Just like keeping my body in shape takes effort, so does keeping my marriage in shape. I honestly think marriages are in one of two stages, either growing or declining depending upon the effort you’re putting in it.
I understand now that the minute I start taking my marriage for granted is the minute it will stop growing. And just like keeping my body in shape takes effort, so does keeping my marriage in shape.
Thankfully we’ve overcome some early mistakes we made in our marriage. I’ve sure made my share. The following are a few of the early mistakes I’ve made as a husband in my marriage, and I hope other husbands and marriages can learn from them.
- I didn’t praise Lea enough publicly or privately. I didn’t realize the importance of praise and building up my wife.
- I thought everything had to be “my way.” Thinking you always have to be right is not healthy. Most of the time it’s simple pride that gets in the way.
- I charged things on credit cards (a no-no for young marriages). The number one reason for divorce in our country is financial problems in marriage and credit cards are often at the core of the financial problems. Pay them off and then cut those bad boys up and never use them again. I wish newlyweds weren’t allowed to have a credit card.
- I didn’t think it was important to tell Lea things she really wanted or needed to know. It took me a while to learn to simply being open and honest. Openness and honesty is one of the top needs for women. Thankfully I finally caught on.
- We didn’t date. Every couple should continue to date. Whether it’s going to eat together, walking together, catching a movie or just having time alone together, you need to date. It gives you time to reconnect. I challenge every husband to make it a PRIORITY to have a date with his wife! And men, you’ll earn extra points by being romantic if you’ll actually pick a restaurant you know she likes and have a plan for the evening rather than getting in the car and saying, “So…uh…where do you want to eat?”
- I didn’t pray with Lea like I should. One if the greatest blessings in my life happened when I began to pray with Lea. Unfortunately it didn’t happen early in marriage. I have now found the value of praying with my wife. The intimacy that you find praying with your spouse is second-to-none. Nothing is more special than hearing my wife pray about the hurts, joys and concerns on her heart.
What were some of the mistakes you made early in your marriage?