MARIO KART & THE AGONY OF DEFEAT

I love playing Mario Kart on the Wii, but I have a problem, I can’t seem to ever beat my 14 year old son.

Yes, I know that 14 year olds are in their video-game-prime, but I don’t like losing to him EVERY TIME! I thought about grounding him for winning, but Lea quickly nixed that idea. Then there was the idea of rigging the game so I could win, but the game can’t be rigged.

So I did the only thing a dad can do to be competitive against Connor … I practiced. I practiced Mario Kart before he got up, when he was at school and when he was over at a friend’s house. I practiced hard and believe it or not, I got better.

So the other night I asked the question, “Hey Connor, you up for a little Mario Kart?”

“You sure you’re up for it Dad?” he asked with just a hint of cockiness.

And the game was on. After a little quick warm up race, Connor selected the track “Bowser’s Castle.” Ugh, I hate driving at Bowser’s Castle, because there are so many objects to hit and so many turns, but I felt ready so I didn’t say anything other than, “Let’s do it.”

When the race started I was off like a flash. I immediately got a bonus-boost and was in first place (a spot I’m not used to being in). It was amazing, I was driving a flawless Mario Kart race. I avoided getting hit by shells, and I even dodged boulders that were regulars at smashing me. Not only was I dominating, but I took a quick peek at Connor’s screen and noticed he was frustrated and running fifth. Lap one of three came and went, and I was pulling away. I could smell V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, not only against my 14 year old nemesis but also against Bowser’s Castle, a place that just dominates me.

I crossed the finish line in first and did what any mature, humble father would do … I danced a victory dance. I threw down my controller, pointed at Connor and said, “Who’s your Daddy?” “WHO IS YOUR DADDY?” I had finally won!

I didn’t more than get those words out of my mouth when Connor said, “DAD, DAD … That was only the second lap! We have another full lap to go?”

“NOOOOOOO!”

By the time I found my controller and realized what I’d done, I was in last place. In fact when the race was over, I came in dead last and Connor recovered to take first. I’d gotten a little cocky and had celebrated a full lap too early.

I’ve now come to realize two things about video games and life:

1) God never intended for fathers to be able to beat 14 year old sons at video games.

2) Pride comes before a fall.

“So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall” ~1 Corinthians 10:12

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
19 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Ryan Tate says:

    Ahhhh, love this!

    Hilarious and a piece of reality for me too. We have Mario Kart as well. My daughter is still too young to be any good at it, but my wife kicks my butt. I hate it! I guess I'll enjoy being able to conquer my daughter for a few more years before she eventually overcomes me.

  2. Scott says:

    Ouch! At least I am not alone. I am only slightly better at some games (1% of them) than my 12 year old.

  3. James Jones says:

    Hate Bowser's Castle and Rainbow Drive. You CAN beat him, just keep practicing. Next time just wait until its ALL over ;-b

    I have been beating my son on Mario Kart, but he is whipping my tail on Ultimate Alliance 2 — makes me sad because I am the comic book guy, not him.

    rules on pride do not apply to video games…..unless, of course, you celebrate prematurely. thats not pride, thats just….sad. :-)

  4. kim says:

    ohh Trey, this made me laugh so hard. I feel as though i need to let my kids beat me so they can have a confidence boost, they are still very young, but when I was growing up, I never won, and I always competed against my brother. Until one day after many, many, many, times practicing the games, I was finally able to beat my brother at a game. I had finally beat my nemesis. Now its just fun because we still play against each other. sometimes I win, sometimes he wins, I just wanted to be more even when we compete, I guess I have accomplished that.

  5. kim says:

    That was actually Andre that made the comment not Kim.

  6. Stoogelover says:

    You started my morning with a wonderful laugh! I can just see you doing your "VICTORY" dance and then the look on your face when you are informed of Lap #3! Thanks for sharing.

  7. L.C.T. says:

    Haha. This made me laugh!

  8. Wade Tannehill says:

    I played one-on-one basketball with my son in the church parking lot yesterday. My defeat was devastating, agonizing, and humiliatinig.

  9. Parker says:

    Of course Connor > Dad at Mario Kart, but Parker > Connor. that is why he chooses to not even write about me.

  10. TREY MORGAN says:

    Ryan – Practice hard or sell that thing before your daughter gets to be a teenager. You'll never win again :)

    Scott – I'd love to be slightly. I remember the day when I was … but it was a long time ago.

    James – I too hate Rainbow Road.

    Andre – Your comment made me smile. :)

    Wade – I can still hang (a little) in one-on-one basketball, but my time is coming when I will be humiliated.

    Parker – I have no rebuttal.

  11. Donna G says:

    That's why children's children are our delight….we can beat them…for awhile at least…

  12. Peter P says:

    Trey… there are no words suitable to respond to such talent for messing up.

    I'll just keep laughing for the rest of the week… and maybe well into next week too!

  13. Mark Roberts says:

    That is an awesome story! As an avid gamer I can't wait for my someday sun or daughter to hand my my own in any number of video games. The torch must be passed!

  14. Chuck Allen says:

    Very funny post. I can totally relate to the feeling of not being able to win. Back in January I added "beating my son at Madden 10" to my list of goals for this year. I'm glad to say that I finally did it, but, like you, I had to practice a lot when he was not around. (Beating him at NBA 2k10 has proven another challenge, though.)

  15. psn4athome says:

    That is great! Classic story! We have Mario Kart too. Caden's not that good at it yet but PHilip seems to beat me every time. Great game!

  16. NB says:

    I always let the children win.(That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) 😉

  17. Janice Garrison says:

    Trey you are killing me! I laughed so hard reading this that I almost….well, never mind, but this was funny stuff.

    You ended the post well, showing that you know who your "daddy" is and reminding us of his advice.

  18. Carolyn V. says:

    This was hilarious, Trey! I could see all of that playing out in my head! Too funny…I bet Connor won't let you live it down! :)

  19. Ginger says:

    Too funny Trey. I had visions of Chase and Jeff playing video games while reading your post. Jeff never beat Chase, but tried really hard!

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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