MAINTAIN YOUR MARRIAGE

  • Do you know why some yards and lawns look much nicer than others?  It’s called maintenance.  The more work you put into it, the better it looks.  

  • Do you know why some cars run longer, and bring more when they’re traded in? It’s called maintenance.  You take care of them and they’ll last. 
  • Do you know why some people live longer or healthier than others? You guessed it, maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps.
When we don’t maintain those things in life that are important to us we often find ourselves asking, “How did I get in this mess?”  And one of the things many people neglect and take for granted is their marriage.  Many husbands and wives simply think that things will continue to go well even when no work or maintenance is done in their marriage.   So many who neglect their marriage, years down the road, wonder how they ever got their marriage into the mess it’s in.   
So, what are some simple things we do to maintain and grow in our relationships with our spouses?  Here are a few ideas …
  • Make it a priority to set aside one night a week for a date with your spouse.  
  • Take an over night trip together (without kids) once or twice a year.
  • Read a book together. 
  • Talk.
  • Take a walk together. 
  • Do pre-marriage things again like writing notes and sending flowers.
  • Call during the day to simply say hello. 
  • Make God a priority in your life.
The key is to maintain and grow in your marriage, instead of waiting until things are bad to start looking for answers. Unfortunately sometimes when we wait until things get bad … we’ve waited too long.
Can you imagine a man who has spent years neglecting his health, going to the doctor and saying, “Make me better quick.”  Doctors can’t fix years of neglect overnight (and sometimes not at all).  Fixing years of neglect often takes months and years.  And if it can be fixed, then it takes time, hard work and discipline to get your body back on track.  The same is true if you’ve neglected your marriage.  It may not be able to be fixed over night, but with time, hard work and discipline … you can get it back on track.  
Don’t wait until your marriage needs an overhaul to try and save it … do some maintenance today!
Can you think of some other things you can do to maintain a marriage? 
(Childress readers, this Sunday I’m starting a series of lessons during the month of May on, “Having the Marriage of your Dreams.”  I hope you’ll consider coming and studying with me.)

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
22 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Stoogelover says:

    Thankfully my marriage is in much better shape than our lawn! As always, good blog, Trey.

  2. Monalea says:

    Daryl and I kiss each other hello and goodbye, even if we will be back in just a few minutes and regardless of our state of mind toward each other

    Monalea

  3. Matthew says:

    Great post. One of the young men here in Castle Rock is going to school with one of your boys in the Aim program. I knew there was a connection to you somewhere in my life.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Excellent post, Trey.
    We do marriage help groups regularly with the church. I get really bugged at the people who see no need for maintainance or, in some cases, no hope for improvement.
    Cecil3

  5. Lantz says:

    Great points…it seems that many people lack the discipline to do maintenance themselves.

    For example, many people pay to have someone else do their yard maintenance. Others pay to have their oil changed.

    In marriage we would rather not do the discipline of maintenance ourselves, but rather have someone else do it…

    just some random thoughts…

  6. LauraLee Shaw says:

    Hi Trey, I’m excited you’re covering this. I promise you I’m not sending this link to bring attention to my blog, but honestly to lend more thoughts to the surface. I posted a devo/article about this last week on the same subject through my grid if your readers are interested:
    An Unsettling MarriagePraying for you as you cover this subject. Will have to have a listen when you get it on itunes. Plano is quite close enough to Childress! 😉 I’ll also link your article to my post.

  7. cwinwc says:

    Send a suggestive text message to your wife. Just kidding Bro or at least make sure it goes to the correct intended party. I still chuckle when I think about your experience but just a little.

    You alluded to “making God a priority in your life.” I would add for couples to try and find a serving ministry that they can serve in together. What better for husband and wife to serve each other than to serve others.

  8. Peter P says:

    Great post Trey.

    Just last week I wrote on my blog that I think all married couples should have an affair – with each other.

    Maintenance is so important!

    As it is with your relationship with God….

  9. Robin Brannon says:

    I heard the idea of what I call the “circle of families” (I never heard it called anything really). The concept is this: Say there are four couples (some with kids, maybe some without). The four couples are on a rotating schedule. Couples 1, 2, and 3 drop their kids off at Couple 4’s house and go on dates. The next week, Couple 1 keeps the kids while 2, 3, and 4 go out. And it keeps rotating like that. The couples who don’t have kids yet get good experience in child-raising, the couples who do have kids get to go out take a little break from the kids a few times a month, the couple who keeps the kids gets to know the families and the kids better, the kids get to know each other better, and the couples can swap date ideas. And I’m sure there are even more advantages. If you don’t have a circle of married friends, and you’re a married couple, you should really consider it. It really enriches your marriage relationship and your friendships, too.

  10. Dr. Roger D. Butner says:

    Thanks for the terrific post, Trey! I would also recommend:

    – playing games together regularly
    – cook together now and then
    – hold hands in public
    – have a few verses of Scripture that you read and meditate on every day, such as Ephesians 5:25-27, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, James 1:19-21, and Philippians 2:14

  11. Kent "Grumpy" Smith says:

    Right on Trey. It is easy to get wrapped up in life and forget your life. Paula and I will be make our first trip in three years together in July. I don’t plan on it ever being that long again.

    Grump

  12. TREY MORGAN says:

    Laura Lee – Thanks … Feel free to list any links that are helpful. Thanks for doing it! :)

    cwinwc – That’s the post that never dies :) Suggestive texts are a great way to maintain … but as you say… make sure it goes to your wife… ouch!

    Robin – LOVE the idea!

    Roger – Excellent as always. My wife LOVES it when I hold her hand in public :)

    Grumpy – Thanks for stopping by.

  13. jasonS says:

    great reminder- thanks!

  14. Donna G says:

    Be interested in each other’s hobbies.

    Take each other along on a sporting outing.

    Make it a habit to say positive things about your spouse to your friends.

    Enjoy the fact that you know each other well enough to be quiet together….

  15. a cowgirl at heart says:

    Oh, Trey, this post couldn’t be more timely. Don’t you feel like marriage is under attack in this town? It is probably under attack everywhere, but it touches so close to home when it is all around you, you know? I had to choose time with my husband over a church meeting the other day and the irony of the situation was that I was ridiculed for doing so by someone at church (which had nothing to do with the church as a whole, just with the particular individual). But I HAD to stand up for my marriage and make my husband a bigger priority even when others didn’t understand. I want so badly to make the marriages around us better and to say, “it can be good again, don’t give up,” and yet it can all be very overwhelming. Thanks for the post! BTW…I LOVE Red Hot Momma…read her stuff regularly! She’s awesome!

  16. TREY MORGAN says:

    a cowgirl at heart – Satan is alive and enjoying ripping apart marriages in our community. I feel the same way you do … our community is hurting. I’m spending an entire month of May sermons focusing on marriage at the CofC, and I sure pray that someway and some how that it will help down the road.

  17. westcoastwitness.com says:

    Well, since no one else has said it:

    “Have lots and lots of sex.”

    Contributed.

  18. Sarah says:

    I love the analogy of trying to ‘fix’ a lifetime of neglect in a night or two. Yes, yes, to cowgirl — Satan knows that attacking our marriages is a sure way to unsettle our foundation. We must be diligent!

    Thanks for your commitment to godly marriages, Trey!

  19. Bethany and Andrew Vaughn says:

    I enjoy your blog. You have such wisdom in your words.

  20. Bethany and Andrew Vaughn says:

    I enjoy your blog. You have such wisdom in your words.

  21. TREY MORGAN says:

    Thank you Sarah for the prayers.

    Vaughn – Thank you for dropping by.

    Also, LauraLee’s link above is great. Check it out when you get time. :)

  22. Rich Bordner says:

    Your post is a good reminder to me as I head into my own marriage.

    I tend to be a workaholic, so I *really* need to keep this in mind!

    Robin, I also love the idea of the “four couples.”

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
  • As crazy as it might sound, Chris Collinsworth just might be worse to listen to than the song Christmas Shoes.
  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
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