Intimacy is both physical and emotional closeness in marriage. Being physically intimate is what leads to emotional intimacy and is what God talked about in Genesis 2 when he said, “… and the two (husband & wife) shall become one flesh.” Intimacy should be one of the strengths and cornerstones of your marriage. One of the struggles of our marriages is how to keep intimacy strong and how to keep intimacy killers out of your marriage.
The “serious” intimacy killers that do the most damage are things like…
- loss of trust
- inability to express your needs and feelings
- not listening
- daily separate lives
- being self-centered
- angry arguments
- lack of touch
- lack of time
Lea and I always laugh and say that our 10 biggest intimacy killers are the following …
- Babies (Thankfully we’re past this.)
- Toddlers (Past this one, too)
- Niños (if you speak Spanish)
- Taylor, Parker, Connor & Cooper
- Yes, you guessed it, children.
Okay, just so you know, we do believe our children are blessings in our lives and not burdens. We love our children with all our hearts, but at the same time, we work extra hard to have “us” time in our marriage. Here are a few things that have helped with the “children” intimacy killers …
- We work hard to eat together by ourselves several times a week.
- We have a lock on our bedroom door.
- We’ve always encouraged our children to sleep in their own beds … not in ours.
- After our children leave for school, we take a little time every morning to drink a cup of coffee together.
Those are just little things … but very important things. God is sure good to me to put Lea in my life. I definitely married up!
I’m curious … does your “intimacy killers” list resembled ours?