When you think of intimacy in marriage, most people automatically think of sex. Intimacy in your marriage does involves sexual fulfillment, but intimacy is SO much more than just having good sex.
Intimacy is achieved when a husband and wife can share their thoughts, opinions, and feelings with one another to the point that they become best friends. And, it’s impossible to grow in your intimacy with your mate when you’re not spending time with them. So, here are a few things you can do to become more intimate (with the most important at the end)…
- Have a picnic at the park.
- Find a babysitter and go on a date.
- Leave a romantic note for your spouse
- Meet for a lunch date.
- Give a Small Gift … for no reason at all.
- Take a walk together
- Take a trip together.
- Say “I love you.”
- BUT if you really want to feel intimate with your spouse, pray with them.
I love praying with Lea. I love listening to the things on her heart as she talks to God. There’s something about coming before God as a couple that brings about a level of intimacy that nothing else can. Sadly, I didn’t realize this the first few years of my marriage, I honestly struggled to pray with my wife, but thankfully I finally caught on. I now believe, if you are not praying with your husband/wife, you are missing out on one of the greatest levels of intimacy in marriage that there is.
There’s something about coming before God as a couple that brings about a level of intimacy that nothing else can.
It seems to me that husbands struggle with this more than wives. Husbands, believe it or not it’s not unmanly to pray with your wife. In fact, she’ll love you for it. Don’t be ashamed to pray.
I challenge you, if you are not praying together as a couple, start today. If you desire this level of spiritual unity in your marriage, begin to pray together and watch your oneness grow.
So, I’m curious…
- For those couples who do pray together, how would you explain what prayer has done to the intimacy level in your marriage?
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 23 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
Ya know, I’m not married, but I appreciate your honesty in things like this that are soooo very important. You and Lea are a great example (even though I’ve never met you) and this world needs more solid Christian examples.
Thanks!
You are so right Trey! I have to admit I was nervous when I started asking Crystal to pray with me, but she has told me several times that our prayer time is the highlight of her day. I love to hear her prayers, to listen to her heart, she is sooo sweet it makes me smile thinking of it. great post thanks.
When I went to my dad to ask those important questions about marriage I asked him how you could know if you had found “THE ONE.” His response was what do you think? To which I replied I have finally found a woman that I can pray with. All he could say was it looks like you’ve already found “THE ONE.”
I wish that I could say that Michelle and I have prayed together every day since we were dating, but I can say that the times we do are very intimate and raise our marriage to whole different level. Eccl. 4 a cord of three strands is not easily broken. A man and a woman in conversation with God can stand up to a lot of strain and God will look down and call it “very good.”
Trey thanks for your inspiration, I need to go pray with my wife!
Larissa – Thanks for your kind words. I pray God will place someone in your life that’ll be willing to spend time in prayer with you. PS – Glad you enjoyed The Shack book.
Matt – At least you asked Crystal to pray with you. Many many moons ago I was to scared to ask Lea to pray with me, so she gave up and asked me to pray with her. I’m glad she did.
Steve – Excellent verse. And yes, I could use to pray with my wife more too. Blessings.
When Pat and I are intentional and steadfast about praying together everything in our marriage has a different light to it. It really has been the key to our level of intimacy. We were like you and Lea and did not realize the gift that praying together was until several years into our marriage. There is really no adequate way to express how much praying together has influenced our relationship.
When we let ourselves get too busy and tired and see that part of our time together slipping, we see our initmacy level slip as well.
There is something deeply personal and romantic (can I say that about prayer?)about sharing a prayer life with your spouse. You can’t keep walls between you when you are praying together. Your communication with God and each other will deepen in amazing ways. It has been one of the biggest and most important surprises for me in our marriage.
If you think about it, God longs for us to be in an intimate relationship with Him. Prayer is one of the avenues for that intimacy. I believe marriage is supposed to mirror the intimacy that we have with God. It only makes sense that if you pray together as a couple, the blessing to your marriage and the intimacy you have with God and your spouse is only going to be intensified.
Kim, I think you explained the importance of prayer in marriage better than I did. That’s why comments are so important. Thanks for taking time to write and share. I know your and Pat’s marriage is blessed because of you prayer lives.
YES!! I love it. My pastor says the same thing as a matter of fact he told us to becarefull praying together before we were married because of the very fact of how intimate it is.
Trey,
Thank you challenging us to pray with our spouses. Prayer is so powerful. It is so wonderful that we serve a God who listens, cares and acts.
I had to comment again, b/c I read Mrs. Terrazas comment and I agree. When I went through divorce care at my church we talked about that. How praying with your partner is imporant (in reference to dating after divorce) but you need to be careful, because of spiritual promiscuity. I never thought about that before, but I do believe it is a good point.
Mrs. Terrazas & Larissa – Excellent points.