- Be proactive in growing your marriage. (Don’t put your marriage on cruise control.)
- Strive to meet your spouse’s needs.
I think every couple will agree that we need to meet our spouses needs, but when is the last time you actually asked your spouse, “What are your top needs?”
If you don’t have a clue what your spouse’s needs are, then you’re already behind the 8-ball. You’ve got to ask, instead of trying to guess. And then when you find out, be proactive in trying to meet those needs. When you do, in return, they will want to meet your needs. Lea and I ask one another on a regular basis, “What are your needs,” because they sometimes change, then we simply try to out do one another at meeting the other person’s needs.
A Husband’s Top 5 Needs:
- Sexual Fulfillment – Generally a husband’s top need.
- Recreational Companionship – A husband loves it when his wife is willing to take an interest in things he likes.
- An Attractive Spouse – Wives, do your best with what you’ve got and dress with the goal of pleasing him.
- Domestic Support – He wants peace and quiet (domestic bliss).
- Admiration – You can’t heap it on to thick girls.
A Wife’s Top 5 Needs:
- Affection – Generally her number 1 need. Guys, never stop pursuing your wife.
- Conversation – The top reason for divorce given by women. Men, learn to converse.
- Honesty and Openness – Don’t be dishonest or hide things. Honesty is the glue in your marriage.
- Financial Support – A huge need in the world of women. They simply want to know that they’ll be taken care of.
- Family Commitment – Guys, be more committed to being a dad and husband than you are your hobbies and job.
So here’s a good challenge for the weekend: Take the lists above, show them to your spouse and ask how their needs stack up to these here. (It’s not unusual for a woman to have a need in the man’s list or a man to have a need in the woman’s list.) Find out what his/her top 5 needs are and then make it your goal to focus on those needs this next week.
I want a great marriage, but it won’t happen by accident … just like anything else, marriage takes work. Sometime hard work.