HOW IMPORTANT ARE DADS?

Fathers can abandon their children in two ways. First, abandonment can take place when a father physically leaves his children and has little or no contact with them. And second, abandonment can take place by fathers when they are physically still close to their children, but they don’t give their children any time or attention.

Dad, do you know how important you are? Do you know what kind of role you play in the future of your children? Take a look at these jaw dropping statistics that were just released by the new US Department of Justice special report on dads…

  • 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.
  • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes.
  • 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in fatherless homes.
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.

These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:

  • 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
  • 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
  • 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
  • 9 times more likely to end up in state operated institutions
  • 20 times more likely to end up in prison
  • 10 times more likely to commit rape
  • AND 32 times more likely to run away from home

Hey dad … I have two words for you today, “Be there!” You play a powerful role in your child’s life. Don’t just produce a child, be a dad.

I’d be curious to know, just how important was the role your father played in your life while you were a child…?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
21 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Piper family says:

    Dad’s are sooooooooo important. My own father was a workaholic, but he spent many hours of quality time with me…his daughter. Some of my best memories are of going fishing with my dad and going to the Sheriff’s Convention with him. I can’t imagine how life would have been without him always as a presence in our household. So many of my views and attitudes about life have come from my father. Likewise, I can’t imagine how I would be raising my twins without my husband. I am so lucky to have had a great example growing up and to now have such a loving father for my children. Thanks for this information…

  2. Brie says:

    My Dad was my posse and the one who encouraged my geek-ness. He sacrificed a lot for our family. For example, he was a police officer, which in our suburban town meant that he got a ridiculously small paycheck. He saved up for a year to send me to space camp at OU. I loved it, he loved that I loved it, and I wound up going to five more years of camp and being a staffer. We started stargazing together. I even got him a flight suit and jacket, which, he insisted he didn’t wear out of nerdiness but because he needed all the pockets for eyepieces. We went through several telescopes and learned the night sky, and spent hours looking for and at nebulae, planets, star clusters, and when all else failed, the moon. As I got older, we spent countless nights hanging out and drinking tea and talking politics or history or playing poker. When I started college I insisted that he read all of my papers before I turned them in, so we would go to IHOP, have breakfast, and he’d slog through Constitutional theory.

    He was a great example in how to love people and love God. I don’t know how he did both those things so much of the time, especially after he got sick. He died of complications of cancer my (first) senior year of college. My sisters had just started college, and my little brother was in his second month of kindergarten. Statistics like these scare the wahooey out of me for him, but we just love on him as much as we can.

    Goodness, Trey, that was long. Sorry! ::cough:: Dads are important, and every single second that you can spend with your kids is precious. They will remember it forever. His telescope has been sitting on the porch for the last three years, but I plan on dragging it out for my son one of these days.

  3. Matt says:

    Great post. My Dad was and still is very important in my life. The one image I think of when talking of time spent, is my dad and I in the back yard playing catch, and of course I took my eye off the ball. And put my lip on it. Ahh good times, thanks Trey, for reminding me how blessed I truly am

  4. That Girl says:

    My daddy was the king of our family and although we had to tiptoe around his temper sometimes, I thought he was (and he is!) the best man God ever made. My daddy played with us and taught us to always do our best, keep our word, and never quit.

    When he left for work, he would tell me to “make a 100″ and “hang in there like a bitin’ sow!”

    I love my daddy!

  5. Greg says:

    When my father died, it was as if someone I knew rather well had died. There was no real sense of loss or sadness, except sadness for my mother. Dad and I did not have an adversarial relationship, we just didn’t have a relationship … which led me to be very intentional about a relationship with my children. His first priority in life was to his job and we came in a distant second. He thought that was being a good father. He was wrong.

  6. TREY MORGAN says:

    Very powerful stories. Thanks for sharing. I’d like to tell you about my dad. My real father died from cancer when I was very young boy. I don’t really have any memories of him other than the ones family have shared with me.

    God saw that I needed a dad and a few years later provided me with a tremendous one. He moved into my life and took on the role of my father in an amazing way.

    He gave me his attention (something I really needed from a man), played ball with me and taught me how to be a man. I can’t imagine life without him then or now. I give God so much thanks for giving me a dad who loves me as much as he does his real sons and daughters.

  7. RAN says:

    Having come from a fatherless family – my father died when I was 4 – I am thankful to say that I don’t fit any of these morbid statistics. I turned out ok, but you always know, that something is missing. And when the father is missing, the mom has to work, so really you end up missing out with both parents. That makes for a very lonely childhood. But thankfully, I knew my parents loved me, and didn’t leave me for their own selfish reasons. I think that might be the main reason that so many fatherless children become one of your statistics. That, and the loneliness and empty hours, where a child might search for the wrong things to fill their time with. I am forever thankful to my God that my husband and I were able to give our children a completely different life. My husband, as a minister, was able to coach their ball teams, and we were there for them at every turn. It is a blessing not to be taken for granted, or whined about, when you can be a stay at home mom and be there for your kids.

  8. Monalea says:

    In my life God gave me two awesome Dads. The first Dad died when I was 9 and the second Dad God gave me when I was 11. I can’t even begin in this short comment box to tell you what a difference they have made in my life. But one think I do know; only God can give you 2 good Dads in one life time.

    Monalea

  9. Anonymous says:

    My dad is one of the most influential people in my life. He has essentially become my best friend. He has been there for everything, and always been supportive, yet truthful about everything. Without my dad I know my life would be completely different, he has guided me in so many ways.
    ~Allix~

  10. Falantedios says:

    As some of you know, my biological mom was a prostitute and drug user in NYC during the early-to-mid 70s.

    All I know about my biological father was that his last name was probably Donahue. He was either one of my bio-mom’s clients or employer.

    Her half-brother and his wife adopted me the summer before my eighth birthday. They’re my Mom and Dad. :) They did everything they knew how to do, and I love them for their sacrifice and their desire to raise me well.

    Fathers, you have incredible ability to influence your child’s life, for good OR ill. The sins of the father DO affect the children.

    My greatest spiritual struggle stems directly from exposure to my father’s sin. Pornography is a poison to the young male mind.

  11. Darin L. Hamm says:

    Great thoughts.

    This makes me think about Big Brothers/Big sisters. We had a match who graduated from high school last year.

  12. Larissa says:

    My dad’s role was HUGE…I consider myself very blessed to have the relationship I had growing up and still have with him now. That is why it is so terribly difficult to see my children now with the father they have. It is my greatest hope and prayer that someday they will know and have a dad on this earth that will teach them what a good dad is, just like I experienced when I was little.

  13. AncientWanderer says:

    Real close and I am blessed that I still have him around.

  14. TREY MORGAN says:

    Nick … amazing story!

  15. nb says:

    My dad wasn’t interested in being a dad. He left and hardly looked back. His role in my life was very important to me … but it wasn’t very important to him. What I really hate about this issue the most is that even at my age now, (when I should be way over it), it still bugs me. I still miss the relationship I never had, and that really stinks.

    Even now, I still feel a (small) twinge of jealousy when I hear about the wonderful dads that others had in their lives, even though I am very happy for them. Sometimes, I still feel a (tiny) bit angry at God for not making it different for me…but I have been blessed in many other ways. (I had a great mom.)

  16. TREY MORGAN says:

    NB – I know that wasn’t easy to share. And I’m glad you had a great mom. Your honesty helps us dads out here to see how important this subject is. Thank you for sharing this.

  17. Matthew says:

    Thank you for this, a powerful message and reminder.

  18. Falantedios says:

    nb,

    I know how you feel… I was angry at my biological parents for a long time. One of the people who sheltered me in the name of Christ while I was in Nashville told me, “God will be the father you never had.” That’s nice and all, but I’ve been lonely my whole life and I know it stems from being abandoned.

    Do you get frustrated with people who have good family situations and just complain about (what seem to be in my view) nit-picky little trifles? They are blessed beyond their capability to understand, and it makes me nuts that they are too spoiled to get it!

    I’ve tried to cope by telling myself for years now that my biological mother gave me up because she knew she was too messed up to raise me. I’ll never know, though, because I found her death certificate on Ancestry.com last year. She had a very unique name, and the birthdate is right too, so I know it was her.

    My Mom and Dad (and my bio-mom, for that matter) are children of divorce, so I’m not surprised that they struggled with home relationships.

    My grandfather divorced my Dad’s mom (that’s why my bio-mom and adopted Dad are half-siblings) and left at a very early age, so Dad never learned how to be a dad. He’s as messed up as anybody, so I’ve forgiven him for leading me into sin.

    My Mom’s dad just up and left, and sent my Mamaw into a nervous breakdown. I don’t think my Mom ever really recovered from that wound.

    Stories like mine are why I can both commiserate with my staunch MDR brethren (because breaking promises causes great spiritual wounds) and why I get so mad at them (because they generally don’t try to be healers and peacemakers — they try to be right at all costs).

  19. Anonymous says:

    These kinds of statistics really really frustrate me. I have a very dear friend whose children are living up to all these statistics. She was widowed when they were very young and she did all the right things. She tried to make sure there were good christian moral men around for role models, she got them involved in activities and was available for them. She had devotionals and bible studies with them and others in her home. She actively participated in their interests with them. She is a godly woman, a woman of great faith and I know her heart breaks when she sees her children living out their choices. She hurts for them and for her grandchildren.
    Where is the hope for those single mothers who are thrust into fatherless parenting without their consent? Where are the lists of things for them to do in order to raise godly children? I talk to my friend at least once a week and I can hear the hopelessness and failure in her voice–it must be terrible to do all that you could and still be merely a statistic!

    Rachel

  20. Falantedios says:

    There is no list, Rachel. If there was a list that would save… you know the rest.

    1st century Jews had the best moral upbringing in the world, and Paul still lumps them in when he says, “in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience — among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.”

    It was never your friend’s job to save her children. It was her job to be faithful to her Lord. If Jesus doesn’t feel like a hopeless failure because Israel rejected him, your friend should not feel that way either.

    When people reject the Father’s love, he grieves like your friend, but he will not take the blame for it. Your friend’s Lord pronounces her Beloved, Good and Faithful, and Worthy.

    Paul also says, “but with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself… it is the Lord who judges me.” At that time, “each one will receive his commendation from God.”

    I know this seems easy for me to say, but your friend MUST accept the fact that she is forgiven and accepted by God and her loving service has not been in vain.

    in HIS love,
    Nick

  21. Anonymous says:

    As I sit here in Switzerland nannying for 10 days…I have come to the sense that not only is the father important but the mother as well.

    While, I maybe here to make sure the kids get their bath, eat their proper meals, and get to bed at a decent time. The kids only long for their parents to do it instead of I. It is the little things of life that make your parents very important.

    I sometimes think to myself, how important was my father if it is so easy for me to go on with life without him. I have come to the realization that he made me half of what I am and who I want to be in the future. Plus I would have never know how to shave my legs if it wasn’t for him…he shaved my legs the first time and taught me how to do it.

    (And I can’t really complain to much about nannying…considering it is a 10 day paid vacation in the Swiss Alps!)

    -Tiffanz

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • good list. Don't forget Nickelback, OJ, ISIS and beer-throwing Blue Jay fans.
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  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
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