Lea and I have always tried to attend marriage seminars, His Needs/Her Needs training and other things that build our relationship. I think every couple will agree, “We want the best marriages possible.” If my marriage is bad, I want to make it good. If my marriage is good, I want to make it great. If it’s great, I want to make it even better. But just like anything else, marriage takes work. Sometime hard work. Good marriages don’t just happen by accident.
According to Dr. Willard Harley’s book called His Needs/Her Needs. Here are the top needs of husbands & Wives:
A Husband’s Top 5 Needs:
An Attractive Spouse
A Wife’s Top 5 Needs:
Honesty and Openness
A wonderful Gospel preacher from years ago named Ira North used to preach a lesson called, “Help for husbands and Wisdom for wives.” His lists looked something like this.
What A Husband wants in a Wife:
A wife that will be his playmate
A wife that will dress with the aim of pleasing her husband
A wife that will give him lots of admiration
A wife who’s not dominating and controlling
A wife who’s warm and wonderful
What a Wife wants in a Husband:
A husband that will continually court her
A husband that will communicate in a caring way
A husband that will give the family plenty of time
A husband that will serve her cheerfully
A husband that will be the spiritual leader in the home
Dr. Harley in his book Love Busters tells us that there are a few things that kill relationships. He calls them Love Busters and lists six:
Selfish demands: Who wants to live with a dictator?
Disrespectful judgements: Who wants to live with a critic?
Angry Outbursts: Who wants to live with a time bomb?
Dishonesty: Who wants to live with a liar?
Annoying Habits: Who wants to live with a dripping faucet?
Independent Thinking: Who wants to live with an inconsiderate jerk?
So here’s my challenge to you and I (hold me accountable) this weekend: Let’s take the list above, show it to our spouses and ask them how their needs stack up to these here. Find out what his/her top 5 needs are and then make it your goal to focus on those needs this next week. Hey, why not? It’s Valentine’s Day next week.