Believe it or not, I married the most gorgeous girl … ever! I believe that with all my heart because I have chosen to make Lea my standard of beauty.
I love hearing husbands praise their wife’s beauty, and I love when wives talk about being married to the most handsome man in the world. I whole-heartedly believe that your spouse should be your standard of beauty. In case you’re not catching on … let me explain better. Whoever you’re married to, is what you should be “into.” Meaning I am totally “into” brown-eyed, brown haired girls. WHY? Because that’s what I married. If you married a blonde, you’re into blondes. If you married a mechanic … you’re into mechanics. If you married an Asian … you’re into Asians. If you married a Kindergarden teacher … you’re into Kindergarden teachers. If you married a short person … yip, you guessed it … you should be into short people. You’re into what you married.
When my wife had her hair cut a certain way, I had a friend who continually told me that she looked like Victoria Beckham. After looking up who Victoria Beckham was, my only response was, “If my wife and Victoria Beckham look anything alike, then Victoria is a very lucky lady.” I feel that way because Lea is my standard of beauty … and she is what I am “into.”
Personally, it really bothers me when married WOMEN post pictures of guys like Tatum Channing, Mark Sanchez or others on Facebook and Pinterest with comments like, “He’s so hot!” or “Yum!” What bothers me even MORE is I know their husband is going to see it and that hurts them … no matter what they tell you. And MEN, don’t ogle over someone of the opposite sex on television or at the movies. Don’t compare your wife to some girl who’s been photoshopped on a magazine cover. Whether your husband/wife sees it or not … it’s called lust and Jesus called it “adultery of the heart.” Instead of focusing on someone other than your spouse … how about posting a picture of your husband/wife on Facebook and let the world know of your love for HIM/HER with a comment like, “This is the person of my dreams.” Make sure your spouse knows that THEY are your standard of beauty, not someone else.
DON’T gloat over someone other than your spouse … make sure your spouse knows that they are your standard of beauty. THAT will make for a much healthier marriage.
LISTEN CLOSE … instead of focusing on what you don’t have … pursue what you DO have.
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 23 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
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I love this!!! Needed to read this more than u know and think every married couple should as well!!! Thank u!!!!
Great post. Hope lots of people read it and take it to heart.
Amen. One of my (awesome) wife’s pet peeves is the way people often say that women don’t struggle with this, that somehow women ogling over men isn’t the same as men do so, and thus the current double standard (especially among Christians, for some reason) that it’s sinful for men to say a woman is beautiful, but perfectly fine for sisters in Christ to drool over a guy endlessly.
My theory on why men give their wives a pass is that we’re insecure, and don’t like the idea that our wives may struggle as much as we do. That’s probably a topic for a other post, though.
Again, good admonition (to *all* of us), Trey!
A to the Men! I wholeheartedly agree.
…And married women, don’t openly admit that you have a crush on a fellow married church member…
I’m just sayin’
i think it’s great to make your wife your standard of beauty, but why on earth would you post her pic on FB for other men to ogle at? If you’re trying to get married men to keep their eyes to themselves, why put a pic of your wife out there for all eyes to feast on? Especially if she is as beautiful as you think she is, she could be temptation for other men. It’s probably best if the husband just makes her beautiful by telling her that she is often, rather than telling others or showing others.
Lila … my wife is beautiful to me. I’m going to post pictures of her and I on FB because I want the world to know I’m happily married. I would never post an indecent picture and I think it’s okay to post pictures on Facebook of your spouse. Men are not dogs … God did build them with some self-control.
well I marry a man but I found out he is not into me…I think its a man thing that they still want to look at other girls and even show you some other girls pictures! or even collect some other women sexy pictures that they like! well in some point I do the same too!
Cheney … I’m sorry about that. Prayers that that will change.
[...] * Lust: A Topic We Just Don’t Talk About…and Are Dying Because of It by Matt Dabbs; * Hey Married People: Quit Checking Out People You’re Not Married To by Trey Morgan; * Can Porn be Used Responsibly? by Kurt [...]
I have to chuckle at this because…out in Homeschoolerland, where maintaining “emotional purity” is the biggest concern of single young women, you’re not “supposed” to be into the man you marry.
Jenny,
What?
I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I’m very much out there in “homeschooler land” and I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I’m not sure what group of homeschoolers you’re hanging out with but if that’s what they’re teaching I’d advise you to run. It’s not biblical in any way and does not represent mainstream homeschooling.