Comments on: GOOD COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/ Thu, 24 May 2012 11:59:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Improve Your Mind http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-7862 Improve Your Mind Sat, 31 May 2008 23:05:07 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-7862 Sincerity joined with Compassion does it for me. Sometimes some Forbearance must be added. Sincerity joined with Compassion does it for me. Sometimes some Forbearance must be added.

]]> By: Di http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2695 Di Sun, 06 May 2007 22:57:08 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2695 Yep, we can. Our committment to God first and then each other made all the difference too. <br/><br/>Some people go out to eat. We go to therapy. Better use of the money. :-) <br/><br/>But we could not always afford that. Even now it is only because of insurance that pays most of it that we can do it. It bothers me that many can't afford it. Yep, we can. Our committment to God first and then each other made all the difference too.

Some people go out to eat. We go to therapy. Better use of the money. :-)

But we could not always afford that. Even now it is only because of insurance that pays most of it that we can do it. It bothers me that many can’t afford it.

]]> By: TREY MORGAN http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2691 TREY MORGAN Sat, 05 May 2007 22:33:38 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2691 Di,<br/><br/>Love your answers. Sounds like you're working through issues that come up from time to time. It IS the key to making your marriage work. We must ALWAYS seek help when we come to an impass. <br/><br/>Sounds like you guys are figuring it out. If we learn to communicate we can work through any of the other 4 things. Di,

Love your answers. Sounds like you’re working through issues that come up from time to time. It IS the key to making your marriage work. We must ALWAYS seek help when we come to an impass.

Sounds like you guys are figuring it out. If we learn to communicate we can work through any of the other 4 things.

]]> By: Di http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2687 Di Sat, 05 May 2007 20:00:33 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2687 I will answer the second one first. I can answer it out of our (my hubby an my) own issues. <br/><br/>1. communication (I agree it holds all the others.) <br/>2. money<br/>3. sex<br/>4. a cheating spouse<br/>5. children and in-laws <br/><br/>After a brief semi-affair, if one can exist, on my part, my husband finally agreed to couple's therapy. It took someone else being interested in me and me finding it very very difficult to ignore, before he was scared enough to get help. <br/><br/>My husband's family was very disfunctional outwardly. His father was an alcoholic, his mother paranoid schizophrenic. My parents just never, ever communicated. We were doomed. <br/><br/>Three years of therapy and we learned enough about ourselves to see the "dance" we follow. We now communicate pretty well. Our finances were good enough to have good credit when we applied for a loan last summer. And, we have a good sex life, even at our age. <br/>:-) <br/><br/>Our biggest problem with communication was the fact that we didn't know how to communicate. I will answer the second one first. I can answer it out of our (my hubby an my) own issues.

1. communication (I agree it holds all the others.)
2. money
3. sex
4. a cheating spouse
5. children and in-laws

After a brief semi-affair, if one can exist, on my part, my husband finally agreed to couple’s therapy. It took someone else being interested in me and me finding it very very difficult to ignore, before he was scared enough to get help.

My husband’s family was very disfunctional outwardly. His father was an alcoholic, his mother paranoid schizophrenic. My parents just never, ever communicated. We were doomed.

Three years of therapy and we learned enough about ourselves to see the “dance” we follow. We now communicate pretty well. Our finances were good enough to have good credit when we applied for a loan last summer. And, we have a good sex life, even at our age.
:-)

Our biggest problem with communication was the fact that we didn’t know how to communicate.

]]> By: Monalea http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2683 Monalea Sat, 05 May 2007 14:16:50 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2683 Glad you took the day off and had fun. Maybe sometime Daryl and I could sneak away and join you! Glad you took the day off and had fun. Maybe sometime Daryl and I could sneak away and join you!

]]> By: TREY MORGAN http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2681 TREY MORGAN Sat, 05 May 2007 14:07:21 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2681 Monalea...<br/><br/>The boys were out of school today, so I spent the day out at some friends in the country. We fished, rode four-wheelers, played basketball and kickball, swam in an pond and jumped off the cliffs down into the pond. <br/><br/>It was a pretty fun day of just playing!<br/><br/>:) Monalea…

The boys were out of school today, so I spent the day out at some friends in the country. We fished, rode four-wheelers, played basketball and kickball, swam in an pond and jumped off the cliffs down into the pond.

It was a pretty fun day of just playing!

:)

]]> By: Monalea http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2677 Monalea Sat, 05 May 2007 01:15:12 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2677 Where are you today? Learning to communicate in your marriage??? Ha ha!<br/><br/>WWW Where are you today? Learning to communicate in your marriage??? Ha ha!

WWW

]]> By: JP Manzi http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2676 JP Manzi Fri, 04 May 2007 10:16:30 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2676 Great thoughts here Trey. So, when do you plan on writing a book? You obviously have a wealth of information wanting to come out.<br/><br/>As for your questions below.<br/><br/>1. Biggest problem? Easy. Simple. One is a man and one is a women.<br/><br/>2. 1. Communication<br/> 2. Children and In-Laws<br/> 3. Sexual Problems<br/> 4. Cheating Spouse<br/> 5. Money Great thoughts here Trey. So, when do you plan on writing a book? You obviously have a wealth of information wanting to come out.

As for your questions below.

1. Biggest problem? Easy. Simple. One is a man and one is a women.

2. 1. Communication
2. Children and In-Laws
3. Sexual Problems
4. Cheating Spouse
5. Money

]]> By: Brandon http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2675 Brandon Fri, 04 May 2007 04:17:23 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2675 I wish I had the problems listed at least I would learn from them! :) I wish I had the problems listed at least I would learn from them! :)

]]> By: Neva http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2673 Neva Fri, 04 May 2007 03:10:47 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2673 Did you like the way I spelled sense? (cents). Some of this stuff is really common sense. One hint they gave us is that the word "you" is like glue. When we are discussing with someone else and words get heated, the comments they remember most are the ones that begin with "you". Since we have a relationship with our spouse or whoever and that relationship is important to us, we start the discussion with "You are really a great husband. You provide for our family, you help with the kids, etc. Then we go on with sometimes I hear you say blah, blah blah(whatever the words are) and I feel----hurt, angry, sad, stupid etc. (Sometimes we can even add something to the effect of "Because you are kind and you love me, I know you would not intentionally hurt me" <br/>Then, even though they hear the expression of our feelings, we have not wounded them and statistics show that wounded people are more defensive and internalize and personalize more than those whose esteem are intact.<br/>Most of us when we get defensive, we shut off, we dont hear anything else. <br/>So, if we want our spouses, our children, our mates to really hear<br/>us, we need to remember that you is glue. We will get further with them when they have something to live up to. They will not want to use words or do things that make us feel so badly because they are good, kind, etc.<br/>I hope this makes sense. <br/>It really was a powerful seminar. I have used this technique in counseling and in group therapy and with Ned and the boys. The response so far has always been positive.<br/>Peace<br/>Neva Did you like the way I spelled sense? (cents). Some of this stuff is really common sense. One hint they gave us is that the word “you” is like glue. When we are discussing with someone else and words get heated, the comments they remember most are the ones that begin with “you”. Since we have a relationship with our spouse or whoever and that relationship is important to us, we start the discussion with “You are really a great husband. You provide for our family, you help with the kids, etc. Then we go on with sometimes I hear you say blah, blah blah(whatever the words are) and I feel—-hurt, angry, sad, stupid etc. (Sometimes we can even add something to the effect of “Because you are kind and you love me, I know you would not intentionally hurt me”
Then, even though they hear the expression of our feelings, we have not wounded them and statistics show that wounded people are more defensive and internalize and personalize more than those whose esteem are intact.
Most of us when we get defensive, we shut off, we dont hear anything else.
So, if we want our spouses, our children, our mates to really hear
us, we need to remember that you is glue. We will get further with them when they have something to live up to. They will not want to use words or do things that make us feel so badly because they are good, kind, etc.
I hope this makes sense.
It really was a powerful seminar. I have used this technique in counseling and in group therapy and with Ned and the boys. The response so far has always been positive.
Peace
Neva

]]> By: TREY MORGAN http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2672 TREY MORGAN Fri, 04 May 2007 02:24:49 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2672 Neva .... if you swing back by and read this, please feel free to share more. We'd love to hear more.<br/><br/>Trey Neva …. if you swing back by and read this, please feel free to share more. We’d love to hear more.

Trey

]]> By: Neva http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2671 Neva Fri, 04 May 2007 01:25:06 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2671 One of the best professional experiences I ever had was when the hospital required us all to take a communication seminar. Many things really made sense and have made my life better. But because this is your blog and not mine :)<br/>I will only share two.<br/>First---Although feelings are real, they are not facts. When we communicate our feelins with our spouse we have to remember this. For instance just because I feel like you make me sound stupid does not mean that is a fact--it means the feeling is real. <br/>Second--when we need to "Discuss" (with the big D) there are ways to fight fair---if we are not fair, we are sinning.<br/>Just my two sense---<br/>Peace<br/>Neva<br/>Trey, thanks for this post, all marriages need special care.<br/>n One of the best professional experiences I ever had was when the hospital required us all to take a communication seminar. Many things really made sense and have made my life better. But because this is your blog and not mine :)
I will only share two.
First—Although feelings are real, they are not facts. When we communicate our feelins with our spouse we have to remember this. For instance just because I feel like you make me sound stupid does not mean that is a fact–it means the feeling is real.
Second–when we need to “Discuss” (with the big D) there are ways to fight fair—if we are not fair, we are sinning.
Just my two sense—
Peace
Neva
Trey, thanks for this post, all marriages need special care.
n

]]> By: TREY MORGAN http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2670 TREY MORGAN Thu, 03 May 2007 22:19:58 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2670 PS - Monalea ... welcome back and I'm glad you are home. PS – Monalea … welcome back and I’m glad you are home.

]]> By: TREY MORGAN http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2669 TREY MORGAN Thu, 03 May 2007 22:19:35 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2669 I've had a request or two for the button. The "Subscribe Me" is so if you want to receive posts via email it will email you and tell you when I've made a new post.<br/><br/>Make sense? I’ve had a request or two for the button. The “Subscribe Me” is so if you want to receive posts via email it will email you and tell you when I’ve made a new post.

Make sense?

]]> By: Monalea http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2668 Monalea Thu, 03 May 2007 21:56:40 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2668 Question??????<br/><br/>What is the Subscribe Me! All about???<br/><br/>Monalea Question??????

What is the Subscribe Me! All about???

Monalea

]]> By: Monalea http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2667 Monalea Thu, 03 May 2007 21:55:36 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2667 I think the biggest communication problems are from a man and woman's prespective. He logical and she is emotional. <br/><br/>Maybe we should just hire a translator???? I think the biggest communication problems are from a man and woman’s prespective. He logical and she is emotional.

Maybe we should just hire a translator????

]]> By: Matt http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2665 Matt Thu, 03 May 2007 18:49:57 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2665 Now what were you trying to say? I just didn't quite understand what you were trying to get across. :) Now what were you trying to say? I just didn’t quite understand what you were trying to get across. :)

]]> By: lisa leichner http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2664 lisa leichner Thu, 03 May 2007 18:27:19 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2664 Wow, Tim's comment really struck a chord with me. I can't tell you how often my husband starts to talk to me, realizes he doesn't have my full attention (when really I'm trying to split my attention between him and a dozen other things) and gets upset with me. I see now where he & I both are getting that from. I'll have to remember that when we're trying to talk. Wow, Tim’s comment really struck a chord with me. I can’t tell you how often my husband starts to talk to me, realizes he doesn’t have my full attention (when really I’m trying to split my attention between him and a dozen other things) and gets upset with me. I see now where he & I both are getting that from. I’ll have to remember that when we’re trying to talk.

]]> By: The Preacher's Household: http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2663 The Preacher's Household: Thu, 03 May 2007 18:25:16 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2663 I think when either one of them is hard of 'listening' then it could lead to hardening of the heart.<br/><br/>1 Money<br/>2 communication<br/>3.Sexual Problems<br/>4. Children & in-laws<br/>5. Cheating spouse<br/>I again agree that the last one has something to do with all of the above. In fact, I think they all relate to each other and if you are having trouble in one area it will spill over to the others.<br/>Kathy I think when either one of them is hard of ‘listening’ then it could lead to hardening of the heart.

1 Money
2 communication
3.Sexual Problems
4. Children & in-laws
5. Cheating spouse
I again agree that the last one has something to do with all of the above. In fact, I think they all relate to each other and if you are having trouble in one area it will spill over to the others.
Kathy

]]> By: TREY MORGAN http://treymorgan.net/good-communication-in-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-2662 TREY MORGAN Thu, 03 May 2007 18:20:19 +0000 http://day3hosts.com/treymorgan/2007/05/good-communication-in-marriage/#comment-2662 I think you guys nailed it. We're trying to talk before we listen. <br/><br/>Here's what I read:<br/><br/>1 - Money<br/>2 - Sexual Problems<br/>3 - Communication<br/>4 - A Cheating Spouse<br/>5 - Children & In-Laws I think you guys nailed it. We’re trying to talk before we listen.

Here’s what I read:

1 – Money
2 – Sexual Problems
3 – Communication
4 – A Cheating Spouse
5 – Children & In-Laws

]]>