GOD HATES DIVORCE BUT …

Anytime I preach, teach or write (like yesterday) about marriage, it always hurts my heart to think of those who have gone through a divorce sitting there listening to the sermon or reading a post about marriage. I sometimes wish I would pick a different topic than marriage just because I don’t want divorced people to think I’m rubbing their noses in it.

Not to long ago I told my friend Stachia, who goes to church with me, how I feel about this. Stachia is one of the godliest women I know. She has more faith in her little finger than I do in my entire body. Stachia is a single mother of four who did everything she could to save a marriage years ago. I had just finished preaching a month long series on the family, marriage and how divorce hurts everyone involved. After the sermon I made a special effort to find Stachia and apologize for preaching on such sensitive subjects. I told her, “Please don’t think I’m picking these topics to make you feel bad. These sermons are not meant for you.” I’ll never forget what she told me, “Don’t feel bad at all, my kids and I need to hear these lessons too.” She has always amazed me, and I’ve prayed often that others would feel the way she does.

Malachi 2:16 says, “God hates divorce…” He hates the pain it causes families. He hates what it does to children. He hates the emotional and spiritual scars it leaves. BUT UNDERSTAND THIS … it never says, anywhere, that God hates divorced people. Never. God doesn’t hate divorced people. In fact, He loves them with all His heart, just as much as He loves those that haven’t gone through a divorce. Every person matters to God. Black, white, rich, poor … and yes, divorced. You matter to God.

So please understand that I will on continue to preach, teach and write about marriage. And you continue to understand … God love you very much, no matter what anyone else tells you.

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
22 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Tim Archer says:

    Amen! One of the hardest sermons I ever had to preach was a sermon on divorce a few years ago. One of my points echoed yours: “God hates divorce, but He loves divorced people.”

    In a bit of shameless self-promotion, I’ll give you a link to the sermon. Read it at SermonCentral.com when you get a chance and see if you find anything worth stealing.

    Grace and peace,
    Tim

  2. merry says:

    Amen.

    So many times the church preaches about Godly principles (honoring marriage, valuing life, etc) and veers into the territory of condemnation. Thanks for the reminder to be sensitive to those who know firsthand how awful divorce is.

  3. TREY MORGAN says:

    Tim … enjoyed reading through the lesson. The whole thing’s worth stealing :)

    Merry … you are exactly right.

  4. preacherman says:

    Trey,
    You are so right. When I preach on marriage I know divorced people feel uncomfortable or judged.
    I just wish Jesus would have addessedd more on divorce. Or other situations that we see today such as abuse of wife, sexual abuse of children, and other situations that we see today. I don’t understand why God left those important things out of the Bible as far as divorce goes. Did it slip his mind.

  5. Monalea says:

    More people need to read this post.

    Monalea

  6. Anonymous says:

    yeah trey,
    I think about that a lot too, how can we strongly preach against sin, and not water it down, downplay its ugliness, without hurting those who are forgiven but still struggle with past guilt??

    most church, imo, just avoid anything too strong against sin. we need some kind of balance

    brian

  7. That Girl says:

    I had a whole comment typed out and decided to delete it.

  8. James says:

    As a minister, I echo the struggle of speaking to sin and not alienating the sinner. One thing that helps me is to remind myself and everyone else we are all sinners and in need of the grace of God. Great thoughts Trey.

    Preacherman, Doesn’t “Husbands love your wives” or “Fathers don’t exasperate your children…” (Eph 5-6 and Col 3) address these abuses? Or are you looking for scripture that tells someone it’s ok to leave because of these situations? I had an aunt who stayed in an abusive situation because the church taught so much against divorce. When she finally left she felt great shame and didn’t come back to the church for years.
    James

  9. Mommysmart says:

    As a Stachia fan, I echo your comment about her strong faith. Through every struggle that she has faced in this life she still shows her faith in God and HIS plan. I keep telling her that she needs a blog. She is a very strong leader for women.

    There is rarely a sermon preached that doesn’t effect someone emotionally, but that shouldn’t stop any preacher from speaking about truths found in the bible. We all have our issues. Our imperfections are what bond us as brothers and sisters who are all striving to better know the only perfect, Jesus.

  10. The Preacher's Household: says:

    On the other hand, maybe your sermon secretly gave someone the hope or desire to persevere and not go through with a divorce.

    It was awkward when James preached a divorce sermon because it was next in the text. Every family in that church but one had a divorce in it. The one couple we thought would be offended the most had the same reaction.

    Kathy

  11. preacherman says:

    James,
    I think people stay in relationship’s like your aunt becausse the church does preach so much against divorce. Thanks for the scriptures. I appreciate it brother. I know that divorce hurts the children the worst. I believe as minister we should offer support to those going through divorce and support and help to single parents, families and let them know that they are a vital part of the body of Christ.

  12. paul says:

    Keep preaching. No one hates divorce more than those of us that have been through it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

  13. AncientWanderer says:

    Trey-
    It’s OK to preach the Word 😉

    Divorced folks have survived enough, they can survive a sermon or two.

    ‘God hates the sin but loves the sinner’ is true enough and within reason a good concept but it isn’t scripture per se. We’ve been talking a lot about this in our classes of late and I always want people to know that God’s love for the sinner “culminates” in an empty tomb.

    PS- Divorce isn’t always about a sinner.

  14. Jeanne M. says:

    I had a friend who was going to a “christian” counselor. She was told that if she was unhappy in her marriage, she should date some men to find what she was looking for. I told her this was wrong, and she said, “Doesn’t God want me to be happy?” To which I replied, being married, single or divorced is not what should make us happy, but being right in our relationship with the Lord. He is the only One who can truly make us “happy.” Another friend, single, wanted to be married so badly, she got into and out of several relationships. She, too, asked if God didn’t want her to be happy. Why do we believe someone or something will make us happy?

  15. TREY MORGAN says:

    AW – Thanks for the reminder.

    Jeanne – And can you imagine she’s paying money for that kind of counseling????

  16. Chris says:

    Trey,

    As I have openly confessed in the past, I am one who has been through a divorce. And, as previously confessed, the divorce was my fault — I was the guilty party.

    Having said that, let me offer this — KEEP ON preaching, teaching and writing about marriage. Those of us who have fallen, discovered grace greater than our sins and are struggling with rebuilding our lives need to hear the things that you are saying. We need to know that marriage is good, that divorce is bad, and that God loves us.

    I don’t think anyone of us who reads your words and have come to know your heart feel that you are picking on us. In fact, the opposite is actually true as we feel you are trying to encourage us and help us see that marriage is good and worth fighting for. Your words help strengthen resolve to never let divorce happen again, to do the things it takes to make marriage as great as God intended it to be.

    I for one thank you for your words and your challenges.

    God bless.

  17. TREY MORGAN says:

    :) Thanks for being my friend, Chris

  18. The Preacher's Household: says:

    What a great discussion. It was a good post Trey, and I really appreciate the input people contributed.

    Kathy

  19. Stachia says:

    I remember as a little girl hearing my parents or grandparents say “The preacher really stepped on my toes today!” I asked what that meant one time and Mama said that he had preached on something that she probabably needed to work on and study more about. I know God hates divorce and that is part of the reason that I tried so hard and waited so long even though things were bad but knowing that God loved me got me through. In Isaiah 43:2-4(The Message) it says “Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called you name and you are mine. When you are in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t dead end- Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy one of Israel, your Savior…I’d sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you. What an awesome thing to be so loved. Keep preaching the sermons that make us squirm they encourage us to work harder on our realtionship with God.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Trey,

    This is what i have always loved about your preaching, you touch me and you touch others. You preach from your heart and not just reading off of a set of notes. You bring messages that deal with our everyday lives and i love that. Keep on going.

    Matt H.

  21. Liz Moore says:

    It’s a subject that needs to be preached. Being the close friend of 2 couples who ended up in divorce, it’s also hard to listen to those sermons from a friends perspective when it’s recent and you know how much they are hurting. But that being said, it needs to be preached. Our kids needs to hear it, healthy marriages need to hear it as well as unhealthy ones. Satan is trying so hard to use divorce to destroy us. If just one person hears it and gets their marriage back on a Godly track, it’s worth it. Not to sound calloused, but what’s that old Star Trek saying, “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”. Satan is attacking from all sides. If we don’t get ourselves prepared, we are going to lose the battle. Blessings!

  22. TREY MORGAN says:

    I’ve throughly enjoyed this post and the discussions. You guys all teach me so much by your feedback.

    Thanks

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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