Comments on: FACEBOOK, MARRIAGE & HONESTY

By: Carissa

Carissa — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:39:39 +0000

It is sad how in some situations FB is finding the cracks in marriage (with honesty and communication) and pushing them wide open. My husband and I though have had an opposite experience. It has brought us closer. Yes, we do know each others passwords and everything. We are allowed to look through the inboxes and all. If he can read it, I can read it. It has given us the opportunity to talk about which people on our lists (or friend requests) we needed in our lives and were good for our marriage. Also, I have gotten to somewhat "meet" friends of his that impacted his life that up until recently we did not have any contact with and vice versa for myself.

The honesty and communication rules for us allow for us as a couple to set the boundaries and foundation that we are going to need to have for success in the future. We agreed along time ago that we did not want our marriage to fall apart due to a faulty foundation. Meeting your partner's needs, and his or she will have no reason to go elsewhere to fulfill the gap.

By: Bec

Bec — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 06:50:18 +0000

SO TRUE!!! I come from a family of four kids ( 2 parents) and all of those have been divorced except myself. I use it as a constant reminder trey of what you said about honesty and openness being the glue to our marriage!! And most of those divorces have occurred as a result of online relationships that destroyed their current relationships. It has made me and my husband set very strict boundaries with each other on the computer…not because we dont trust each other…we just dont want to ever put ourselves in a position where that could ever happen to us. Its not about insecurity, its about being smart….

By: James Jones

James Jones — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 04:36:42 +0000

I like it that Tabbetha (my wife) has access to all my addresses and passwords. I feel comfortable knowing she can check my stuff anytime. She still calls me to check before she goes into things, but I like the fact that we can do this with one another.

Hiding internet activity is baggage I do not want to carry.

By: Cecelia Bradshaw-Marble

Cecelia Bradshaw-Marble — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:49:38 +0000

I like this,Trey.It's so very true.I had a friend on Facebook who was coming onto me even though he was full aware of the fact that I was betrothed and soon to be married.He made some comments he shouldn't have. Let's just say that I ceased my communications with him on that note.I love my Andrew so very much and the LAST thing I need or want is another failed marriage.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 12:58:48 +0000

I agree wholeheartedly with these facebook rules. My wife and I are very honest with each other. We don't hide anything from each other, in fact, we know each others' facebook passwords. The problem we are having with facebook is my wife is addicted to it. She spends hours on it daily. She says it helps her to "connect" with her family and friends, but I argue that it is not truly connecting. In fact, she and I are becoming more disconnected because of this. When I bring up the subject and explain to her that I want more time with her she gets very defensive about it. It is very frustrating and sad. I miss my wife. I wonder how many others are having the same type of issue. This may be an idea for a future blog, Trey.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:18:07 +0000

Ron and I both have accounts and we have some of the same friends but I dont know some of his friends from school and he dont know mine but we both have access to each others passwords. It's a shame that you have to hide your stuff from your husband or wife.
dina

By: fraizerbaz

fraizerbaz — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:16:22 +0000

So so true!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 13:39:41 +0000

The flip side to Janet's comment is that Facebook has actually helped me connect with a lot of former friends and want to join the world again. It's nice to feel connected and have support from past sources who are distanced. I still make time for my family and friends in RL though. If that became an issue, yes, I'd have to stop also.

I do agree that couples should be open and honest about FB though. It's a red flag when someone "friends" you and you realize they haven't "friended" their own spouse or they never mention their spouse.

By: Janet

Janet — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:12:19 +0000

I really liked that facebook blog post.

For lent, I gave up facebook. I searched myself and realized that it took me away from my responsibilities as a wife and mother. At first...I felt like I was going through withdrawals. Who KNEW it took up so much of my life! I realized that it was my only lifeline to my friends. How sad is that though? Can you TRULY be friends through facebook? I turned back to my phone. How nice to actually talk to people more often!

To be honest...I don't want to go back to facebook. At this point, I don't miss the time I spent doing...well...nothing! I have a feeling I'll get back on when lent is over. However, I do NOT want it to be a daily part of my life.

What was once filled with facebook is now filled with playtime with my kids, reading a good book, amazing conversations with my husband, phone calls with friends and family, and prayer.