My one comment on the baby-sitting issue is that we who know about needs like that need to see those situations with Matthew 25 eyes. We’ve got to work on being the grace (or finding the grace, or providing the grace) that those harried and confused parents need.

I completely agree that if it is a priority, we can find ways to work it out — but shyness and fear and financial issues often weaken our resolve at the moment of asking for help. If our congregations are places where grace is being poured out… babysitting might be one way that a small group or just a Christian family or two decide to live out their faith.

in HIS love,
nick

Jerriann – Well said.

Jason – Good thinking. There are times Lea and I sit at the table after everyone has left. I hadn’t thought of that one.

westcoastwitness – you are right, small children make it tough. You guys must be REALLY busy with those two.

fouros – Thanks for your kind words. I’m hoping to make the OKC memorial run this year. I’m sure we’ll bump in to one another Since there will only be 20,000 people there. ha

Larissa – I agree, you can always work it out (babysitting) if it’s a priority.

Greg – We should be learning from you guys. I’d love a job where I work with my children some day.

Tyler – You are a smart man, and your two daughters will be blessed to have a daddy like you.

cwinwc – Both teachers? Wow! You are in my prayers

Larry – It does feel like a sprint sometimes … but it’s really a marathon. Well said.

We are pretty good at texting each other throughout the day also. I did it a lot in June when we were apart for almost the entire month. And she has expected me to keep it up ever since,

Great blog. I appreciate you more than you know…

Lonnie and I have been working so hard this year to make our marriage a priority and it has made such a difference. We have to take time and it may be at midnight or 5 am but we have some time every day together. Yes, Lonnie travels A LOT but he calls home regularly and tries to call late when the kids “should” be in bed.

Thanks for always reminding us of what is important in our lives. You are such a wise man!

2. There are some “obvious” (I say “obvious” because as you said, there are so many who do not do these things and thus their marriages suffer) ways to stay connected – dates, walks, nights or weekends away. We try to keep the “youthfulness” in our relationship. We kid each other, hug each other, sometimes even chase (most of the time I’m the “chaser”) each other, or in other words, some of the things we did when we began dating and we’re first married.

I want to show them that my relationship with my wife is important so my 2 daughters look for that in any may they decide to date/marry in the future.

I don’t want my wife and I to grow apart while our kids are growing up…we should grow stronger because we’ll need each other more and more as our kids get older.

I think I was actually trying to make a point … we reconnect by making time to be with each other completely free of work. We do a lot of cuddling on the sofa at night, watching favorite shows we recorded. We do a lot of “together” things around the house. We go out to eat often.

Your blog today is a good reminder for us all.

Thanks for the reminder on this subject!!

Karin – I’ve seen a lot of marriages where the husband was considered one of the kids too. Not a healthy situation.

Doug – Part time secretary. Sweet. I love the text messaging thought, just don’t mess up and send it to the wrong person

Tisha and I find it hard. We, like you and Lea, are pulled in so many different directions.

Recently, Tisha has become my part-time secretary, and that affords us with more time together, but it doesn’t produce the kinds of connections that really help “us” though. All its seemed to do is give her a better understanding of how frustrating ministry can be. That’s not good in and of itself.

We have found something, though, in the spontaneous text message. Sometimes a text comes when you need it the most. All it has to say is “I Love You” and it hits the spot.

That’s how it was in our marriage and we’ve been together for 43 years! The only thing some have in common is the children and when they leave and move far away, like you say, the couple has nothing in common.

Oh it wasn’t always easy to take time away because your budget is limited when you are in ministry – at least it was in our day. And even with making sure that our marriage came before our children, there are now unexpected health issues that attack the relationship and make having things in common nearly impossible. But God is good and will give the strength to carry on until the end.

A cord of three is hard to break.