Taz is a young man who blew into our community about a year ago. His past is a rough one and he openly confesses … “I’ve probably done more harm to people than good.”

Thankfully, some kind folks I do church with, saw value in Taz and reached out to him not long after he got to town. They were willing to simply be his friend. We have helped him find furniture for his house, a couple of part time jobs, groceries when his refrigerator would get empty and gave him a ride to church when he wanted.

Recently, my buddy Randy, picked Taz up and invited him to go help work on our Augment House (a house we’re restoring in Childress to give away to a needy family). After about an hour of working on the Augment House and processing everything, Taz looks over and says in his slang the following four sentences …  

“I’ve done good for nobody in my life. I grew up in gangs and all we did was do bad on folks. I want to be in y’alls gang. Y’all do good for folk and I likes that.”

How cool is that!  It was a simple reminder that you and I can still be a positive influence in the lives of others.

Maybe this would be a good time to ask … “Who are you being a positive influence on in your life?”

Amie has the most amazing heart. Amie is one of our young people at church. She’s just graduated and will start college next month. More than once, Amie has called me asking for help. No, not ever for herself, but always for other people. Every time she sees someone in town that looks homeless, hungry or needing help, she calls and says, “Can you go check on this person for me?” I’ve always tried.

Once when she called about a homeless man she’d seen at the McDonald’s needing help, I jumped in my pickup and went to check on him.  When I got there I said, “There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” He responded, “How’d you know I was here? Did an angel tell you?” I said, “Yes, a little blonde headed 18 year old one.”

I leave this Saturday for Honduras. As many of you know, I’ve been asking for beanie-baby stuffed animals to take with me. I have a a TON that we’ll pack up and take with us when we go. Those little stuffed animals will be given to a little boy or girl in the hospital there in Honduras. The hospital is not a good place to be for a child, especially in a third-world country.  The last time we visited the hospital there, we saw lots of really sick kids whose eyes lit up by the gift of a simple stuffed animal.

This past Sunday, Amie told me she was wanting to donate her beanie-baby collection she’d been saving. Before bringing her stuffed animal collection to the house, she spent the afternoon putting a ribbon around each of their necks with a little hand written note that said, “Dios Te Ama”, which is “God Loves You.”  With them she gave me this note:

“I know that there are tons of children at the hospital that are really sick, but I want to ask you to give mine to the ones that are doing really bad and need to know that God loves them. (I know that every child there needs to know that, but I feel that God is pushing me to do this for the really really sick ones). If you could please do this for me I would really appreciate it. Even though I can’t be there in person, I know I can still work through God, and can get my beanie babies to them with your help.”

I’d just like to say that I want a heart like Amie’s.

Famous child psychiatrist Fritz Redl used to say to groups of parents: “Get out your paper and pencils. I am going to tell you the three most important things you will ever need to know about raising children.” The parents would wait breathlessly for his words of wisdom. Then he would say, “Example, example, example.”

In case you doubt the importance of teaching by example, think about your own childhood. How were you most influenced to become the person you are now? Chances are that the person you have become was influenced mostly by the example set by your parents.

One of my biggest fears as a preacher is preaching the “how to live” on Sundays and not actually living that at home with my family. Making my walk match my talk is so important to me. I try to ask my kids periodically, “Am I doing at home what I’m preaching on Sundays?”

I was reminded recently about my walk matching my talk when my sarcastic son Taylor, who’s just like his father, reminded me of something I said in a sermon that I didn’t want to hear. I’d been trying all summer to get some new grass seeded in a bald spot in the front yard. My sons and all their neighborhood friends decided our yard was the best place for their Sunday afternoon ballgames (which is why there is the current bald spot). So I stepped out the front door and said, “Guys, if possible watch my new grass over there” (translation: “Stay off my new grass or I’ll choke you“). Taylor quickly shot back, “Hey Dad, don’t forget you’re raising boys around here, not grass.” That was an exact quote from a previous sermon I’d done just weeks before. Ouch!

Does your walk match your talk when it comes to your children? Or do you do dumb things that your children clearly see?

I was in a Lubbock McDonald’s yesterday following a funeral. I had gone there to have coffee with my good friends and fellow bloggers Matt & Crystal James. While there, I also ran into blogger Kathy, who was in Lubbock visiting family. It was an amazing little blogging reunion.

An AP poll was released last week that included these categories:

Worst role models:
1. Britney Spears (29%)
2. Paris Hilton (18%)
3. Mel Gibson (12%)
4. Tom Cruise (9%)
5. Michael Richards (6%)

Best role models:
1. Oprah (29%)
2. Michael J. Fox (23%)
3. George Clooney (12%)
4. Angelina Jolie (8%)

Biggest villains:
1. George Bush (25%)
2. Osama bin Laden (8%)
3. Saddam Hussein (6%)
4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (5%)
5. Kim Jong II (2%)
6. Donald Rumsfeld (2%)

Biggest heroes:
1. George Bush (13%)
2. Soldiers in Iraq (6%)
3. Oprah Winfrey (3%)
4. Barack Obama (3%)
5. Jesus Christ (3%)
6. Bono (2%)

I personally think we need a category of spiritual heroes and spiritual role models. Let me give you one that would top my list.

• Single Moms: Mothers who bring their children to church all by themselves are my spiritual heroes. They are either mothers without husbands or mothers with husbands that don’t (or can’t) come to church. Yet, that mom feels the place that she and the kids need to be is in Worship. She rises early on a Sunday morning, prepares breakfast, dresses herself and kids, and attends services knowing full well that if the kids act like kids, she may not get much out of the service. But she is still there because she knows that is where they all need to be. I’d have to say those moms are somewhere at the top of my list.

No telling how many great leaders in the church have been raised by Godly single mothers. Need a Biblical example? How about Timothy? “I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” (2 Timothy 1:5)

So, that’s who makes my list of spiritual heroes. How about your list? Who are your spiritual heroes? Leave me a comment and let me know….

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Also, I finally got the sermon page up and working. I’ll do my best to keep it up to date. The links to individual sermons are on the left hand side of this page. So, if you find yourself needing a good 20 minute nap just … click here!

Strong families and strong churches have strong dads. How can you and I be strong dads? God wants us to be – Authentic & Available!

AUTHENTIC
1st Thess 2:12 says, “We are to live lives worthy of God.” This is lived out in your every day life. Your wife, children, coworkers and friends have video camera eyes and audio tape recording ears. They see and hear EVERYTHING. Authentic means you are the same on the outside as you are on the inside. There are many ways to be authentic. Here are two of them:

1. Walk Your Talk: An authentic man wouldn’t state, “I’m a Christian,” and then act in a way that belies that statement. An example would be – a man tells his children not to tell lies but then gets a phone call at home from someone he doesn’t want to talk to, so he whisper to one of his kids, “Tell them I’m not in and won’t be back for three days.”

Or, he peaceably attends church service but when he comes home he uses anger to get his way with a family member. Is that walking the talk? At work he wears a WWJD bracelet and then goes home with some stolen office supplies. Or what do you think his coworkers think about him when he laughs at dirty jokes right after telling them about the church revival he attended the night before? Our actions set an example for how our kids – our spouse – our coworkers – will view God.

We should strive to be authentic, but when we fall short we should also be willing to admit when we’ve blown it. They already know we’ve blown it. Hey, they live with us. Not hard to spot. We need to apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness. We’re teaching them that when they make a mistake it’s not the end of their world, but that they can admit it and grow from it.

2. Keep Your Promises
If you promise your kids or spouse something, KEEP IT. Be consistent with your promises. The number one resentment with kids is the broken promises of their parents. To a child, “Probably, perhaps and maybe” means YES. Only mention out loud what you can follow through on.

One of the biggest areas that we often disappoint our family is with our time schedule. To enable you to keep your promises make appointments with loved ones non-negotiable commitments. Put them on your calendar first and then schedule other things around them. By doing that they learn to trust that you’re a man of your word, otherwise you won’t spend the quality time with them you should.

AVAILABLE
A man needs to be available to his family and God. Here are two ways to do that:

1. To Family
Too often as men we focus on being a success at work and then don’t have any availability with our time or energy for our children and wife. Or when we are with them we sometimes make them feel like we can only spend time with them during the commercials. The message we’re giving them is that they aren’t a priority.

I am aware this is a constant balancing act for us men. For too many years I didn’t balance it well and made my family feel they were infringing on my time frames – that I had more important things to do. Fortunately God woke me up before I lost everything. Here are a few things I implemented into my life –

• Live in the now. When you spend time with the family – “be there.” That means not just physically being there, but also emotionally. Actually be involved in whatever you’re doing and not focused on what you think you’d rather be doing.
• Plan regularly scheduled family nights. It could be a once-a-week fun night where each family member gets to pick what the family will do that night.
• Date your mate on a regular basis. You need to have face-to-face time with one another. It’s a special time to have fun and stay connected. It helps, too, if you do the planning and get the baby sitter.
• Date your children. One child at a time. An exclusive time with dad – hiking – zoo – park – getting ice cream. Make sure it’s a time you can talk. When your child knows they can have your full attention they will often share their deepest thoughts with you.
• Daily practice good listening. To get your family to talk to you they first need to know if you’re willing to listen to them. And to be a better listener get rid of distractions. Turn off the TV. Get away from the computer so you can focus on the person and the conversation you’re going to have. Listen without interrupting or changing the subject. Maintain eye contact. Eye contact sends a powerful message to them that what they’re saying is important. Plus it also lets you watch their body language, which tells you what they’re really trying to say.

2. To God

Are you willing to be used daily by God to make a difference in the lives of others? God wants available men who have a heart full of trust and faith and will be obedient to what God shows them. Especially in our families where God has called us to be the spiritual leaders. A couple of suggestions on how to make this a reality:

• Lead your family into a vital relationship with Jesus Christ. This needs to be our #1 priority. Since more things are “caught not taught,” you model this by you having a growing daily relationship with Jesus Christ as your Lord (Matthew 22:37). We need to take time to study the Bible so we can know God and know His will for our lives. Through the Word of God and talking with God through prayer, God works on the inner man so we can become a man after God’s own heart. As your family sees you growing and changing it will help them understand what a relationship with our Lord is all about.
• Pray for and with your wife and children. When praying for your children, bless them in the name of Jesus. Implements the Three A’s of Prayer, meaning, we all can pray Anytime – Anywhere – and about Anything.
• Lead family devotions. You can easily find lots of material in your local Christian bookstore. Two rules to remember for family devotions: Keep them short and fun.

In closing – men must walk the talk. Nothing more – nothing less – nothing else! Be all you can be for Christ, and watch Christ do all He can through you.