Sometimes we find it easier to point out the things that we don’t like about our spouses, than it is to notice the good in them. We often notice the things we’d like to change in them rather than the things they do well. Too often we’re quick to criticise, instead of building up our spouse with our words.
Research shows that the single most effective way to change someone’s behavior is to positively reward that person when they behave in a way that you want them to. Yet many married couples struggle with being critics and not encouragers. Criticism rarely works to change the one you’re married to, yet sadly, we keep trying it over and over and over.
Instead of rewarding, complimenting and building up our spouse, we’re quick to punish and criticise.
Honestly, nothing makes my chest swell more than hearing Lea compliment me. And the only thing better is when she brags about me to others when I’m within earshot. I think she knows that it boosts my confidence as a husband, a man & a dad. It makes me want to continue to make her happy and proud.
Tomorrow we celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s generally a time when we make an effort to say nice things about our spouses. Instead of just saying something nice about your spouse on special days, why don’t you make Valentine’s Day an everyday event in your marriage. Brag on your spouse everyday. Besides, even studies show that the divorce rate drops to only 7% when couples give five compliments daily to every one criticism. I like those odds. Just think how those odds would improve if we’d drop the criticism altogether!
And so, since I want to practice what I preach, let me say this:
So, what’s something you can brag about your spouse today??