Valentine’s Day is perhaps the trickiest holiday for most of us, married and single alike. It’s the only day of the year, even Jack Bauer could mess up. Good intentions don’t mean squat if you end up in separate quarters for the night over a bad Valentine’s Day gift.
Dear Reader, I implore you, don’t make these mistakes:
Cologne- Bomb. Never once has the Mr. ever been pleased to receive anything that interrupts his natural manly essence. I asked around to see if other men like to be given the gift of scent. Their response was a big fat “No.”
Rogaine- Fail. No man wants a public acknowledgement of his hair “situation”. Especially on an occasion promoted as the sexiest day of the year. That goes for teeth whitening gels and clinical strength deodorant, too.
Men’s Lingerie– Silk boxer shorts, novelty underwear and man robes are not welcome on Valentine’s Day. To quote a dear male friend, “We don’t need to be the pretty one.”
His and Hers Anything- Men just don’t get into that whole His and Hers scene. It’s too cute and frankly, no guy wants to be associated with anything “girly”. Okay, most guys don’t want to be…
Mushy Cards– I am sorry to disappoint you ladies (and you Hallmark Gold Crown stores across America). Guys in general, are not fans of cards. Nor do they stash away Valentine’s Day cards to reread in the wee hours of the night, after watching a movie marathon of Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail. So save your three to six dollars and hour long lunch break for something else!
Softy’s– Sweaters and Snuggie’s and Stuffed Animals- Oh my…goodness no! Epic fail, sorry to be so blunt Friends. No guy wants any of those things. If you are currently standing in a store about to purchase these items, please, put them down and proceed to the nearest food section of the store. Pick up something wonderful your man loves to eat and deliver both the food and yourself to him. You, after all, are his favorite Valentine’s Day gift.
DON’T BUY HER:
Gym Memberships– Boy, there is just no smooth way to give this gift. Unless your wife says to you, “Dear, I would love to be a new gym member for Valentine’s Day!”- don’t do it Brother! I can’t begin to list all the ways this could go wrong for you, but I will hit the most likely one. “Do you think I am fat?”
Lingerie- There is always an exception to the rule, I concede, but MOST married women do not want lingerie for Valentine’s Day, despite what Victoria’s Secret would have you believe. I think this is an example of one those things that we like to buy for others because we want to enjoy it too. As cologne is to a man, so is lingerie for women. The gift is more special to the giver than receiver.
Home Appliances– No, no, no way Man! I have yet to meet the woman who says “Kevin bought me a food processor for Valentine’s Day! It slices dices and chops all with the convenience of easy clean up. I couldn’t keep my hands off him that night!” I have heard terrible, twisted tales of revenge and ill will that have come from being on the receiving end of home appliances. Shudder.
A Poor Delivery – Please, please do not stammer around with our gift in your hand and say “Well, it was on sale” or “I didn’t know what to get you, so the saleswoman picked this out for you.” A perfectly wonderful gift can be ruined by a poor delivery on the giver’s part. Women want to feel like you spent hours thinking about and purchasing their gift. It makes us feel special and loved. Even if we both know you picked those flowers up off a hospital waiting room floor, act like you put effort into the gift for our sake.
Women love a gift that is heartfelt. By ‘heartfelt’ I mean, when she sees her gift, her heart is going to feel it. A simple card, with some tender words you added yourself rates high on the Heart Meter and is a bargain compared to that previously mentioned food processor.
Above all women want love for Valentine’s Day. To be held and cherished and told once again how special she truly is to you. Those words, written or spoken aloud, are carried with her for the rest of her life to serve as a reminder that you are her favorite Valentine’s Day gift.