As some may know, I celebrate my 42nd birthday today. Early this morning I received a really cool electronic card from John Dobbs, a Happy 50th wish from Brian (ha), a birthday prayer from Neva, and a funny video called Achmed the Dead Terrorist from my friend Kara.
All this got me to thinking (scary huh?). What are the worst birthday gifts you could ever give a man. Here are a few I came up with. I hope you’ll help me complete the list.
- THE MANGROOMER – There is only one way to remove your back hair without enlisting the help of another person. It is called the Mangroomer, a strange invention and horrible gift idea.
- SCRAPBOOKING STUFF – Puh-lease
- A PINK SWEATER – Or anything pink for that matter.
- A CELINE DION GREATEST HITS CD – WHAT? You may think that Celine Dion was an angel sent by God to the earth to bless us with her voice, but her music is just not the kind you would find in a man’s iPod play list. (If you do find a Celine Dion song in your man’s iPod, then you better start asking questions).
- A JAR OF PICKLED BEETS – Got this one for my 40th (Thanks Carters)
- A TALKING JESUS OR MOSES DOLL - Kind of freaks me out.
What would you add to the list?
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 21 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
50? You are an official “geezer” bro. Since you failed to mention anything about fruitcakes on your list, I’ll proceed with your “fruitcake of the month” membership.
Happy Birthday!! You are a blessing to many people’s lives, including mine. I hope you take the day off or at least do something you want to do on this day. My birthday always fell during the time Jan was teaching school so I would go see a movie, have a nice lunch, and then hang out at Guitar Center. You should do something at least as rewarding.
Happy, happy birthday! I hope you have a great day!! Maybe you can talk Lea into taking you to “the Deuce” for a good lunch!! Or maybe to that fun place with the lazy susan in the middle of the table??YUMMY!HAHA!
dude happy late birthday…..and a happy birthday from the fatman
42 Greg … not 50. See what you started Brian. Thanks!
And thanks for not signing me up for the fruitcake of the month club.
Amy – I do get to pick where I want to eat for my birthday today. I’m thinking the Deuce or Thai Kitchen. We’ve got to convert Jason over to trying the Deuce again.
Evan – Thanks bro.
ooops… maybe this is why I’m a single girl.
Happy birthday, Trey!
My hubby just got the BEST birthday present two weeks ago, and it didn’t cost me a thing! He got to be on the local crew and set up sound equipment for Trans Siberian Orchestra, watch both of the shows that day, get a free TSO shirt, and get paid for the day.
I sure hope I can return those pink, fuzzy dice…happy birthday, Trey!
Happy Birthday!
How about a free manicure and pedicure…sounds bad to me, so I figured men wouldn’t like it.
Anything from Bath and Body Works! Every time Katie gets a gift from there I think, “Man, I would hate to open a present and find lotion inside.”
)
Didn’t know it was your birthday…Happy Birthday Trey!
I don’t know, a talking Jesus doll might be kinda nice. (walks with me and talks with me and such)
Also, does it say anywher ein the Hebrew scriptures that Moses’ hair was blue? Weird.
Happy Birthday, Trey. You don’t look 42. Maybe 41 but certainly not 42.
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday!
I once saw a CD entitled “Gregorian Chants inspired by the music of Celine Dion.” Maybe that should get a footnote or something. I can’t imagine why it was on clearance…
Wow Bro, you got some very interesting birthday gifts. I got some really nice kitchen knifes that couldn’t go in the dishwasher, ugh. Also got a fountain that didn’t work. Usually Christmas is scarier.
Monalea
Violets are blue; roses are red. If you were a dog you would be dead!
Guess Who?
happy Bday!
jel
Thanks for all the birthday wishes.
Terri – If you need some gift ideas for the men in your life, email me or at least don’t include those on this list.
Merry – that would have been SO cool to see. TSO is awesome. I’m jealous.
Charla – I love fuzzy dice, just not pink.
Donna – Amen
I’m with you Brandon. No Body and Bath stuff.
Alan – Can you imagine one of these Jesus dolls sitting by your bed and one night about 3 a.m. it starts talking. Wow, you’d be wondering is it the doll or Jesus?
Thanks Haley
Brie – that’s as bad as the CD itself.
Anony – I’ve heard the poem somewhere before. Are you sure I don’t have the copyright on this?
Trey hope you have a great day filled with lots of blessings! Toni
Happy Birthday, Trey, or else…
“I’LL KILL YOU!!!!”
love ya,
me
oh,cool!! i get to figure out those letters again at the bottom!!!!!
Happy Birthday Trey! You’re twice my age! Hahahaha!
Happy Birthday Trey!
Happy BD youngster. I think that #5 should be PICKLED BEETS. Not sure what a “beat” is and whether or not it’s edible. Celine Dion is pretty romantic music and just might help a wife get in the mood, if you know what I mean.
Happy Birthday!!
Yeah, I don’t have anything else cool to say…
~Allix~
Justin – Don’t make me call down my shebears. Remember that story in the Bible?
Bob – Dim the lights, light a candle, put on a little soft Celine Dion music and open a jar of pickled beets. Romantic. Surely that would get any woman in the mood.
Allix – you are cool just being Allix.
Kind of late, but…
Happy Birthday Trey!
Trey, Happy birthday. We share this special today together. It is
Johnny and mine 21st wedding anniversary. Johnny got a new shop. I got a NASCAR ticket to go
with Sandi and Shalane in April.
All is good.
Toni
Trey..you share a birthday with Mark Martin! hehe NO, he is not “a hundred” years older than you..only 7 years.
Happy Birthday, Trey! I hope got some “good” gifts.
P.S. Isn’t Conner’s birthday in the next few days?
Dude, I just turned 47 last week. Happy Happy to you. Okay, the stuff NOT to get a guy for his birthday list.
Wimpy Worship Music like
Hillsong.
Self help books. What? Because I am a man I need to be fixed?
Taking a man to a church on his birthday where after the closing song the pastor says, “Now join hands with the person next to you…..
Healthy food
I have an hour to go before it is over…Happy Birthday!!!!
From
The Culwell Crew
Trey, it is really romantic if you feed the pickled beets to your wife.
Happy Birthday Trey! Hope you had a good one! Much love!
Happy birthday Trey. I remember when I was 42 and you know, I still like Ike!
Just a little belated poem:
(But, at your age you won’t remember)
Roses are red.
Violets are rust.
You’re getting so old,
you’re burping up dust.
you are soooo young.
Anonymous … that poem sounds fimiliar too. Did I write that? Come on help me a little.
Happy birthday Trey!
Happy Birthday- enjoy your blog-
Listen, I have a pink sweater and enjoy wearing it- does that make me bad, disqualify me from being a man, and fit for the ministry?