As some may know, I celebrate my 42nd birthday today. Early this morning I received a really cool electronic card from John Dobbs, a Happy 50th wish from Brian (ha), a birthday prayer from Neva, and a funny video called Achmed the Dead Terrorist from my friend Kara.

All this got me to thinking (scary huh?). What are the worst birthday gifts you could ever give a man. Here are a few I came up with. I hope you’ll help me complete the list.

  1. THE MANGROOMER – There is only one way to remove your back hair without enlisting the help of another person. It is called the Mangroomer, a strange invention and horrible gift idea.
  3. A PINK SWEATER – Or anything pink for that matter.
  4. A CELINE DION GREATEST HITS CD – WHAT? You may think that Celine Dion was an angel sent by God to the earth to bless us with her voice, but her music is just not the kind you would find in a man’s iPod play list. (If you do find a Celine Dion song in your man’s iPod, then you better start asking questions).
  5. A JAR OF PICKLED BEETS – Got this one for my 40th (Thanks Carters)
  6. A TALKING JESUS OR MOSES DOLL – Kind of freaks me out.

What would you add to the list?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
36 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Greg says:

    50? You are an official “geezer” bro. Since you failed to mention anything about fruitcakes on your list, I’ll proceed with your “fruitcake of the month” membership.

    Happy Birthday!! You are a blessing to many people’s lives, including mine. I hope you take the day off or at least do something you want to do on this day. My birthday always fell during the time Jan was teaching school so I would go see a movie, have a nice lunch, and then hang out at Guitar Center. You should do something at least as rewarding.

  2. Amy's Gang says:

    Happy, happy birthday! I hope you have a great day!! Maybe you can talk Lea into taking you to “the Deuce” for a good lunch!! Or maybe to that fun place with the lazy susan in the middle of the table??YUMMY!HAHA!

  3. Evan Williams says:

    dude happy late birthday…..and a happy birthday from the fatman

  4. TREY MORGAN says:

    42 Greg … not 50. See what you started Brian. Thanks! :) And thanks for not signing me up for the fruitcake of the month club.

    Amy – I do get to pick where I want to eat for my birthday today. I’m thinking the Deuce or Thai Kitchen. We’ve got to convert Jason over to trying the Deuce again.

    Evan – Thanks bro.

  5. That Girl says:

    ooops… maybe this is why I’m a single girl.

  6. merry says:

    Happy birthday, Trey!

    My hubby just got the BEST birthday present two weeks ago, and it didn’t cost me a thing! He got to be on the local crew and set up sound equipment for Trans Siberian Orchestra, watch both of the shows that day, get a free TSO shirt, and get paid for the day.

  7. cdj says:

    I sure hope I can return those pink, fuzzy dice…happy birthday, Trey!

  8. donna says:

    Happy Birthday!

    How about a free manicure and pedicure…sounds bad to me, so I figured men wouldn’t like it.

  9. Brandon Price says:

    Anything from Bath and Body Works! Every time Katie gets a gift from there I think, “Man, I would hate to open a present and find lotion inside.” :o)

    Didn’t know it was your birthday…Happy Birthday Trey!

  10. Alan Gable says:

    I don’t know, a talking Jesus doll might be kinda nice. (walks with me and talks with me and such)

    Also, does it say anywher ein the Hebrew scriptures that Moses’ hair was blue? Weird.

    Happy Birthday, Trey. You don’t look 42. Maybe 41 but certainly not 42.

  11. Haley says:

    Happy Birthday!

  12. Brie says:

    Happy Birthday!

    I once saw a CD entitled “Gregorian Chants inspired by the music of Celine Dion.” Maybe that should get a footnote or something. I can’t imagine why it was on clearance…

  13. Monalea says:

    Wow Bro, you got some very interesting birthday gifts. I got some really nice kitchen knifes that couldn’t go in the dishwasher, ugh. Also got a fountain that didn’t work. Usually Christmas is scarier.


  14. Anonymous says:

    Violets are blue; roses are red. If you were a dog you would be dead!

    Guess Who?

  15. Anonymous says:

    happy Bday!


  16. TREY MORGAN says:

    Thanks for all the birthday wishes.

    Terri – If you need some gift ideas for the men in your life, email me or at least don’t include those on this list. :)

    Merry – that would have been SO cool to see. TSO is awesome. I’m jealous.

    Charla – I love fuzzy dice, just not pink.

    Donna – Amen

  17. TREY MORGAN says:

    I’m with you Brandon. No Body and Bath stuff.

    Alan – Can you imagine one of these Jesus dolls sitting by your bed and one night about 3 a.m. it starts talking. Wow, you’d be wondering is it the doll or Jesus?

    Thanks Haley

    Brie – that’s as bad as the CD itself.

    Anony – I’ve heard the poem somewhere before. Are you sure I don’t have the copyright on this?

  18. Toni Burns says:

    Trey hope you have a great day filled with lots of blessings! Toni

  19. Kara says:

    Happy Birthday, Trey, or else…
    “I’LL KILL YOU!!!!”
    love ya,

    oh,cool!! i get to figure out those letters again at the bottom!!!!!

  20. Justin says:

    Happy Birthday Trey! You’re twice my age! Hahahaha!

  21. preacherman says:

    Happy Birthday Trey!

  22. Bob Bliss says:

    Happy BD youngster. I think that #5 should be PICKLED BEETS. Not sure what a “beat” is and whether or not it’s edible. Celine Dion is pretty romantic music and just might help a wife get in the mood, if you know what I mean.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Happy Birthday!!
    Yeah, I don’t have anything else cool to say…

  24. TREY MORGAN says:

    Justin – Don’t make me call down my shebears. Remember that story in the Bible?

    Bob – Dim the lights, light a candle, put on a little soft Celine Dion music and open a jar of pickled beets. Romantic. Surely that would get any woman in the mood. :)

    Allix – you are cool just being Allix.

  25. NB says:

    Kind of late, but…
    Happy Birthday Trey!

  26. Anonymous says:

    Trey, Happy birthday. We share this special today together. It is
    Johnny and mine 21st wedding anniversary. Johnny got a new shop. I got a NASCAR ticket to go
    with Sandi and Shalane in April.
    All is good.


  27. Anonymous says: share a birthday with Mark Martin! hehe NO, he is not “a hundred” years older than you..only 7 years.

    Happy Birthday, Trey! I hope got some “good” gifts.

    P.S. Isn’t Conner’s birthday in the next few days?

  28. Louie Mercer, Frank Mercer and Mike Ellis: The Church for Men Dudes says:

    Dude, I just turned 47 last week. Happy Happy to you. Okay, the stuff NOT to get a guy for his birthday list.

    Wimpy Worship Music like

    Self help books. What? Because I am a man I need to be fixed?

    Taking a man to a church on his birthday where after the closing song the pastor says, “Now join hands with the person next to you…..

    Healthy food

  29. Liss and MOMMY says:

    I have an hour to go before it is over…Happy Birthday!!!!
    The Culwell Crew

  30. Bob Bliss says:

    Trey, it is really romantic if you feed the pickled beets to your wife.

  31. mmlace says:

    Happy Birthday Trey! Hope you had a good one! Much love!

  32. Dwight says:

    Happy birthday Trey. I remember when I was 42 and you know, I still like Ike!

  33. Anonymous says:

    Just a little belated poem:
    (But, at your age you won’t remember)

    Roses are red.
    Violets are rust.
    You’re getting so old,
    you’re burping up dust.

    you are soooo young.

  34. TREY MORGAN says:

    Anonymous … that poem sounds fimiliar too. Did I write that? Come on help me a little.

  35. David Kirk says:

    Happy birthday Trey!

  36. Pastor David says:

    Happy Birthday- enjoy your blog-

    Listen, I have a pink sweater and enjoy wearing it- does that make me bad, disqualify me from being a man, and fit for the ministry?

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
  • As crazy as it might sound, Chris Collinsworth just might be worse to listen to than the song Christmas Shoes.
  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
  • Unfortunately, not a great night for "bobcats." :)
  • Chin up Childress Bobcats. We couldn't be prouder. Great fight tonight.

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