Nothing is funnier to me that being able to laugh at yourself or what you do. I have an arsenal of preacher jokes, but here is one of the ones that is at the top of my favorites list…

Three ministers and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they’re standing at the gates of heaven before Peter.

The first minister came with his wife and stood before Peter. Peter opened the book of life and shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in. You loved money too much. Your life was only about money. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.”

Then came the second minister and his wife. “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in, either. You loved food too much and you know what the Bible says about gluttony! In fact, you loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!”

The third minister turned to his wife and whispered nervously, “It doesn’t look good for us, Fanny.”

  • Do you know any good preacher jokes?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
10 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Tim Archer says:

    Three preachers talking about how much of their earnings to put pack into the plate.

    First one says, “I draw a circle on the ground and throw my money up into the air. Whatever falls in the circle is for me, whatever lands outside goes to God.”

    Second says, “I use a similar method. I draw the circle and throw my money. What lands inside is for God, what lands outside is for me.”

    Third preacher says, “I do about the same thing. I draw the circle, throw my money, and let God grab however much of it he wants.”

    Grace and peace,

  2. Tucker says:

    As a farmer who rarely skips church, I am reminded of this story.
    There once was a farmer who faithfully attended services every Sunday. It took an act of Congress for him to be absent. In the early fall of the year, this farmer had his hay swathed on the ground, ready to be baled. The forecast was for heavy rains starting Sunday night, so the farmer knew he had to get this hay baled or he may never have feed for the winter. He spent Saturday and Sunday getting it baled just in time before the big rain.
    The following Sunday, the preacher saw this farmer sitting in his usual spot and confronted him about his unusual absence. The farmer explained that he was under the gun to get it harvested, but that didn’t stop the preachers chastisement. The farmer looked at the preacher and said, “I figured it would be better for me to be out in the field thinking about God, than to be here, thinking about hay”.

    Hope this isn’t an argument to skip church!

  3. Haley says:

    Thanks; that gave me a good laugh. I must confess I googled this one, so I take no claim of it!! I’m not well versed in the area of preacher jokes; after all I’m not a preacher!

    One Sunday, a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

    The cowboy said, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I’d feed him.”

    So the minister began his sermon.

    One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon.

    The cowboy answered slowly, “Well, I’m not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn’t feed him all the hay.”

  4. Maria says:

    LOL-Okay this is the first funny one I found, might not recommend it as a preacher’s ice breaker joke.

    … A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot.They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
    Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.” As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
    After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied,
    “I don’t know about you, but in MY congregation, it’s my face they would recognize.”

  5. westcoastwitness.com says:

    wow lol

  6. cwinwc says:

    Trey – that was a classic and I’ll add that to my collection.

    The only one I can think of goes like this:

    A Church of Christ preacher dies and goes to Heaven. Peter is showing him the different rooms.

    They come to one room where people are jumping up and down, praising God. The COC preacher asks Peter, “What room is this?” Peter answers, “This is the Pentecostal Room.”

    They go to another room where a non-stop collection is taking place. Millions and millions of dollars are being collected. The COC preacher asks, “Which room is this?” Peter answers, “This is the Baptist Room.”

    They go to another room where everyone is quiet and reverant. Again, the COC preachers asks, “What is this room.” Peter answers, “Shhh!!! This is the COC Room. They think they’re the only ones here.”

  7. Stoogelover says:

    A preacher, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of a joke?”

  8. doug young says:

    A older preacher and his rather cantankerous and difficult wife went on a trip to Jerusalem to see the holy lands. While there, the preacher’s wife passed. The Jewish coroner gave the preacher two options. “We can either have her body transported back to the US for about $5000 and she can be buried there or for about $150 we can bury her here in the Holy Land. Without hesitation the preacher responded, “Let’s have her sent back to the US, please!”. Amazed, the Jewish coroner replied, “But you could save so much money and then think about how special it would be to have your spouse laid to rest in the Holy Land of all places!” To which the preacher responded with much fervor, “Look…I know very well that 2000 years ago a man was buried and raised three days later from the grave. You might not believe it but I do, and I am not going to take any chances on this one!”

  9. Terry says:

    I’ve heard a few preacher jokes, but they get offended when I refer to them in that manner.

  10. Jason Browning says:

    There was a certain preacher who was quite discouraged over the members’ inconsistent attendance on Sunday mornings. Constantly he would prepare sermons that really needed to be heeded, but people he had in mind just didn’t show up. Well, one Sunday morning, he decided that he was going to “take a break” just like everyone else and go golfing instead. So he called his elders one Sunday morning and told them he was sick and could not be there. And then headed for the golf course.

    As he got to the first tee box, getting ready to tee off, there were two angels sitting in a tree. One of the angels said, “I can’t believe this preacher is abandoning his congregation this morning and even lied about why he is absent. I’m going to show him! This will teach him a lesson” So just as he teed off, the angel flew up intervened and guided the ball all the way to the green and the preacher got a hole in one. As he was running down the fairway pumping his fists with excitement, the other angel inquired, “Why did you do that? You said you were going to teach him a lesson. I thought you were talking about punishing him.” To which the 1st angel replied, “I did punish him. Who is he going to tell?”

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • good list. Don't forget Nickelback, OJ, ISIS and beer-throwing Blue Jay fans.
  • He was pretty tough to listen to as well.
  • As crazy as it might sound, Chris Collinsworth just might be worse to listen to than the song Christmas Shoes.
  • Please remember that some Christmas music is incredibly offensive to people with grandmothers who actually were run over by reindeer.
  • Unfortunately, not a great night for "bobcats." :)

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