A Good Marriage Doesn’t Happen by Accident

I’m not a marriage expert, nor am I a marriage counselor, but I’m smart enough to tell you this … a good, healthy, happy, strong marriage doesn’t just happen by accident. It takes work.

Yes, work!

A truly happy marriage never happens by accident, instead it takes time and effort.

According to the national average, a couple will spend $17,500 and copious amounts of time on their wedding. But how much do they actually spend on their marriage?

A husband and a wife who are willing to put lots of time and energy into building a strong marriage, can have the kind of marriage they want.  Whether you’ve been married 2 months or 20 years, the best time to start building a strong marriage is today. Start today by committing to your spouse, “I want us to have  a great marriage.” Don’t neglect your marriage for years and then wonder, “I don’t know what happened.” Instead, put some time and effort into your marriage.

If you’ve spent years neglecting your marriage and your spouse’s needs, here are some things that will help…

  • Don’t give up.
  • Commit with your spouse to starting over today. Commit to putting time and effort into restoring and building a great marriage.
  • Seek out an expert, a Christian marriage counselor.
  • Educate yourself. Find some books on marriage and read them together. Here’s a list of books Lea and I have used to better our marriage. Reading together is one of the best things we’ve ever done.
  • Invest large amounts of time and effort into building a great marriage.
  • Get out of town … without your children. Spend a weekend away with just the two of you.
  • Be patient. Things don’t always change overnight. Can you imagine a man who has spent years neglecting his health, all of a sudden going to a doctor and saying, “Make it better … quick.” Doctors can’t fix years of neglect overnight (and sometimes not at all). Fixing years of neglect to your physical health often takes months and years of hard work and discipline to get your body back on track.  The same is true if you’ve neglected your marriage.  It may not be able to be fixed overnight, but with time, hard work and discipline … you can get it back on track.

A good, happy, healthy, strong marriage doesn’t happen by accident … it takes work.  Invest some time and effort into your marriage today.

I’d love to know, what are some ways that you and your spouse invest time and effort in your marriage?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
9 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Michael says:

    We have “us time.” Pretty much, that’s when we disconnect phones, computers, and television and just hang out. We mostly talk, but sometimes we don’t even do that, well just chillax.

  2. ~Brenda says:

    We like to read together also. We haven’t focused so much on marriage books (although I’ve done that on my own time), but on books that will help us through whatever life issue we’re struggling with at the time. My hubby is a great counselor. :))

    I also think that simply being committed to each other and making the marriage work is so important. So many people quit because things got hard. Things have been hard for me for the last ten years, but I can’t quit. I just can’t. Marriage takes an I won’t quit mentality … and a lot of strength from the Lord to follow through.

    That second paragraph was free.

  3. Cindy says:

    Someone once told me you have to wake up every morning and make a decision to stay married. I think that keeps the priorities straight even when things are a little hairy.

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Cindy, not sure where you heard that, but I know the preacher who did your wedding and he’s very proud of you and your marriage. 😉

  4. We keep honest communication. This hasn’t always been our way, but it had to become that when we were at the end of the rope. We also agreed to take the “d” word out of our vocabulary. If you know it’s not an option then it’s not brought up as a “threat” at any time. At that point you HAVE to look for alternative ways to make things right because it’s the only option. We also see other couples that had issues, divorced because that was the “easy” way out and then found it wasn’t so easy. My hubby always says that the grass may look greener on the other side but be careful – it might be because there is more manure.

  5. Nathan says:

    Great Post! I agree marriage is work; it’s a Love like no other, a chosen love and it is worth it.

    I’ve been married for 19 years and we were young when we started and had no idea what love was. We have grown up and learned together and along the way had to keep reminding ourselves that we are best friends.

    There is no one I would rather be with at any given time no matter what i’m doing. Anyway I could go on forever. Great post I love hearing about other happily married couples as they seem to be so few and far between.

    Here’s my two cents; find a common interest and build upon it. My wife and I love to ATV ride in the mountains; during the summer we get away at least twice a month and stay in a cabin in the mountains. When we’re at home, while sitting on the couch together, I will sometimes paint her toe-nails for her!! Try it guys you maybe surprised at the attention you get!!

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
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