7 THINGS HUSBANDS NEED FROM THEIR WIVES

Last week I gave you part one of my bible class notes on husbands and wives. It was about “What Wives need from their Husbands.” Here’s part two: “What husbands need from their wives…”

  1. HUSBANDS NEED LOTS OF ADMIRATION. Husbands love it when their wives are their biggest fan. Admiration is one of the easiest needs to meet, yet often the most overlooked. He wants to hear he’s a good dad, that he’s still good looking, that you’re proud of him, etc. Honest admiration is a great motivator for most men. Just like you do for your kids … go ahead, heap on the praise.
  2. HUSBANDS NEED A PLAYMATE. Not a playboy playmate (that’s down in #5), but someone that will do things with him that he enjoys. Make him your best friend. Remember when you were dating and you did all sorts of things that you would never have chosen to do alone, just to be with him? God didn’t make another man for Adam just so he could have companionship at a football game. He created woman as suited to be man’s best friend. Don’t ever forget it. If possible, find things you both can enjoy. When you spend time doing those things you make great memories together. One mistake that young parents make is forgetting each other’s need for companionship when children come along. Children’s wants and needs may begin to take precedence over your husband’s needs. While wanting our children to excel and be fulfilled (and maybe even to fulfill some unmet need from our childhood), husbands are left alone with an unmet companionship need.
  3. STRIVE TO BE AN ATTRACTIVE SPOUSE. “But he should love me for what I look like on the inside,” many women say. You are right, but one of the reasons he fell in love with you in the first place is for what you looked like on the outside. Men are visually stimulated so dress with the aim of pleasing your husband. Strive to look like the woman he married. Wear your hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that he finds attractive and tasteful. He should be attracted to you in private and proud of you in public. You may also need to give up clothes that he finds unattractive (ie. a bathrobe, certain pajamas, shoes, etc).
  4. AVOID A CONTROLLING ATTITUDE. Marriage should be about equality and not about “getting your way” in everything. A wife who nags or whines to get her way is unattractive. Solomon, the wisest man ever to live, said in Proverbs, “Better to live in the desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”
  5. STRIVE TO MAKE YOUR SEX LIFE SIZZLE. Notice I didn’t say 7 things husbands want from wives, I said need. Just like men need water, food and air, God made him with the need of sexual fulfillment. He equipped you to be a perfect help suitable to fulfill that need. It is no secret that sexual fulfillment is usually a husband’s number one need. Bill Ferrel makes a great statement in his book, “Red Hot Monogamy,” when he says, “Sex in marriage is an interesting thing. When it’s good, it can be one of the greatest delights in marriage and when it’s infrequent, it can be one of the most agonizing sources of frustration.” Physical intimacy can be a barometer for your relationship. Your husband may see your physical intimacy as a signal that he’s doing fine at home. Paul said this about sex in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” For more on “do’s and don’ts” in a sexual relationship between a husband and wife, you can read Joe Beams article on “Sex in the Bible.”
  6. STRIVE TO BE A WARM AND WONDERFUL WIFE. We talked in number 3 about how a wife looks on the outside, but it’s important that a wife be just as beautiful on the inside. Proverbs 18:22 says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” Peter says in 1 Peter 3 that a wife’s inner beauty is of great value and it is found in a gentle and peaceful spirit.
  7. CREATE A HOME THAT BLESSES YOUR HUSBAND. Consider what environment you and your husband both would like to experience in your home, and work to create that atmosphere. Arrange your schedule so you have enough time to be home regularly and take good care of your responsibilities there. Don’t neglect the house, but don’t become obsessed with trying to make it perfect either. Simply do your best to make your home your family’s favorite place to be, and help them create memories there that you all will cherish.

So, here are seven things that are sure to make your husband a happy boy. My challenge to you wives is show your husband the list and ask him three things…

  • Are these your needs?
  • Am I meeting these needs?
  • How can I better meet these needs?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1164 articles by
20 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Andre says:

    Hey Trey this is Andre Nunes Kim’s husband. Hope everything is going well. This one is pretty cool. Say hi to the family for me.

  2. kim says:

    i will admit that i find more than one thing on your list challenging.

    i feel that #6 is a given, if you are striving to be like christ then you should already be trying to be beautiful internally and that should surface in your relationship with your spouse.

    good reminder for all of us ladies. thanks trey.

  3. Cornelius Crew says:

    If this was a test, then I need to retake it, cause I failed! Kids have a way of causing that to happen. Thanks for the eye opener!

  4. Anonymous says:

    We have really enjoyed reading what you have to say. We are having a marriage seminar in Houston soon and are looking forward to it. Thanks for the encouragement. if you are ever in Houston give us a call. Love, Guy and Nan

  5. Anonymous says:

    And always keep in mind the preacher’s wife in Tenn. “shotgun divorce”

  6. TREY MORGAN says:

    Hi Andre – I miss you and Kim. You guys have been such a huge part of my life. I’d sure love to hug your necks sometime.

    Dixie – Good thing you’ve got a good husband that’ll let you “retake” the test. :) Love ya

    Hey Guy and Nancy – Hope you guys are well and your ministry is going well. I think of you guys often. Hope the “little one” is doing well.

  7. Monalea says:

    Today I took the test and got an F+. I, like Dixie will try again.

    Monalea

  8. Greg says:

    First I will make sure my wife reads this! (Actually, there’s nothing on this list that hasn’t a part of our marriage all along. But isn’t it sad that what you write (all biblically true) just sounds like trouble in our culture?

  9. Wade Tannehill says:

    Works for me. So is “Red Hot Monogamy” a good book? How about a review from Trey Morgan?

  10. Mac says:

    Awesome list Trey. Your study and presentation is certainly appreciated.

  11. Jeanne M. says:

    I agree with what you have to say. However, your stress about men needing sex fulfillment can only apply to married men – or else how does this apply to single men? What did Paul do about his sexual needs? Just wondering.

  12. Anonymous says:

    If Jesus was human and a man what did he do about his sexual needs as a single man?

  13. DJG says:

    Well put. I guess I have less to say than I did about the wife thing…..

    I would suggest that husbands also do #2, #3 and #5 for their wives…

  14. preacherman says:

    Great post yet again Trey.
    Keep up the great work brother!

  15. TREY MORGAN says:

    Wade … sounds fun. I’ll do a review.

    Jeanne – It can only apply to married men. That’s why it’s what “husbands” need. As for Paul’s sexual needs? I’m not sure, but he chose to be single. He said that was best for him.

    Anony – The bible, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” I’m sure he (like Paul) controlled their desires.

    DJG – You’re 100% correct.

  16. Matthew says:

    This is great stuff, I believe that I will use this for a Sunday for the men and women. If that is o.k. with you. I will certainly your blog too as the source. Thank you.

  17. Lonestar-Lady says:

    Trey,

    You just took all my fun away…I like being the boss. LOL. Just teasin!
    I think that is one of the reasons that Lee and I get along so well is because we are best friends first and we do stuff with each other.

  18. Cornelius Crew says:

    Hey, i was reading your bulletin… which one of those things did you say to Lea that you’ll never say again? tis should be good!

  19. TREY MORGAN says:

    Lonstar … Lee wears the pants, you just tell him when to put them on? ha

    Dixie – See if you can pull this up. It’s the whole story:

    http://www.treymorgan.net/2007/04/stupid-things-to-say-to-your-wife.html

  20. David Kirk says:

    Husbands need to put their Christmas tree up early too.

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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