7 Books to Better your Marriage (and FREE Book Give Away!)

I want to give you a book.

One of the best things Lea and I have done in our marriage is read together. Our marriage is healthier today due to the “marriage” books we’ve picked out read.

After we both agree on a book, I’ll read a chapter or two, and then when she gets time, she’ll do the same. Then we talk about and discuss what we read before moving on in the book. It’s been great for strengthening our marriage.

May I suggest you ask your spouse if they’d read a book with you? Or better yet, pick one out and give it to your spouse as a gift with the request, “Would you read this with me?” That would make a GREAT Valentine’s Day gift idea. In fact, last year for Valentine’s Day, Lea bought me the book “Songs in the Key of Solomon” (mentioned below).

So for today, Lea & I would love to not only challenge you to read a book together to improve your marriage, BUT we’d also like to give one of you a FREE book, just by leaving a comment below.

Here are some books we’ve read together and highly recommend …

The first book is His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley. I have to admit that the His Needs Her Needs book (and seminar) has probably been the most influential in mine and Lea’s marriage. Lea agreed and said, “It is the best thing we have done for our marriage.” We’ve probably read, used and recommended this book more than any other book besides the Bible. It has been a marriage changer for us and has helped each of us understand the other better. This may be the most used book in my library and in the marriage counseling I do.

Sheet Music, by Dr Kevin Leman, is an excellent little book on intimacy in marriage. This spicy books is a must read for couples.
Quiet Time for Couples, by H. Norman Wright is a great daily devotional book that you can quickly read each morning.

Financial Peace, by Dave Ramsey. In an earlier post, Lea said this about Financial Peace, “Living within our means and striving to be “debt free” has greatly reduced the stress in our marriage.”

Red Hot Monogamy, by Bill & Pam Ferrel, will make your marriage sizzle. It is a spicy little book that deals with sexual intimacy. Wives, want to get your husband to read with you? Start by surprising him with this book and saying, “Let’s read this one together.” I think he’ll be willing.
Another book is a book that Lea has raved about is, “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerich. It is based on Ephesians 5:33. Simply put, a wife has one driving need–to feel loved. A husband has one driving need–to feel respected.

Songs in the Key of Solomon, (In the Word… In the Mood) by John & Anita Renfroe. This is a little daily devotional book that Lea gave me for Valentine’s Day.

There have been other books we’ve read together too, like Love Dare, The Shack, Love Busters and others. But the books listed above are the ones we’ve liked the best and have helped us the most.

Nothing would make Lea and I happier than giving away something that would promote and help build strong marriages. If you don’t win a book, I’d still suggest ordering any of these. I’m going to use a website called “Random.org” to pick the winner. All you have to do is leave me a comment and it automatically puts your name into the hat. I’ll announce the winner and which book at the end of the week.

PS – During your comment … is there any book you’d like to recommend?

Good luck and thanks for reading.

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Trey Morgan tagged this post with: , Read 1182 articles by
73 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Adam Faughn says:

    Trey,

    Great list! The one I might add to this is “5 Love Languages.” My wife (Leah) and I have used it for our devotional reading, and it has opened our eyes to better ways of connecting and truly showing love.

    Keep up your good work!

    Adam

  2. HisFireFly says:

    Anything we can do to strengthen our marriages is pleasing to God.. for He created marriage and healthy marriage is a powerful witness to His love too!

    I would love any of these books.

  3. Shaun Senn says:

    Yes, 5 Love Languages.

  4. Joy Hall says:

    I am excited about trying this with my husband and want to start with Red Hot Monogamy. Thanks for that tip at the retreat this past weekend.

    Joy

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Joy … it was an honor to get to meet you and the nice folks there. I hope you enjoyed the retreat. If you win, I’m sending you the Red Hot Monogamy book. It’s excellent.

  5. Stacy says:

    Love the reading together idea… I’ll be running to Mardels at lunch!

  6. Ericka Moore says:

    Pick me!

  7. Brittney says:

    What a blessing to give someone a book like these! It may be just the thing they needed to save their marriage! I’d like to read the “His Needs / Her Needs” book!

  8. Andre Nunes says:

    Great list. I just finished the Crazy Love by Francis Chan and I would recommend it as well.

  9. Brad Brunson says:

    Great idea. Something I need to do!

  10. Sarah says:

    Thanks for the message you gave us this weekend. My husband and I have had some good discussion on ways we need to improve our marriage. You were wonderful!
    -Sarah

  11. Janet Pierce says:

    I’ve read His Needs Her Needs and Sheet Music. I will say, Sheet Music ESPECIALLY changed our relationship for the better!! I loaned His Needs Her Needs out before we had kids…and need to read it again! lol!

  12. Stacy says:

    Mind if I ask a question thru here? While reading the details of some of these books, I saw that Norman Wright has written “101 Questions to Ask before getting Engaged” which now I am thinking about getting for my 18 year old son and his girlfriend… Any other recommendations or suggestions?

  13. Frankie Mangus says:

    We fight for anytime together, so reading a book together might be the perfect solution. Thanks for the list!

  14. Donna Mc says:

    I just finished reading The Five Love Languages. Highly recommend this for folks!
    Happy Valentines!

  15. Audra Williams says:

    There are tons of books on how to better your marriage but nothing can help your marriage more than God!

  16. Katy Lee says:

    Here is an oldie but goodie – Straight Talk: What Men Should Know, What Women Need to Understand by Dr. James Dobson.

  17. mmlace says:

    Sure…sign me up!

    Thanks, Trey!

  18. Lura says:

    Thanks for this list. I have a daughter and grand daughter that might find them useful. I know Dave Ramsey’s books and advice are great for easing financial problems in marriage. I gave one of them to my grand daughter.

    My sweetheart and I have been married 44 years. We were high school sweethearts. Today we are best friends and soul mates! Of course we think the Bible offers the best marriage advise ever!

    Both my daughter and her daughter married people from broken homes and who weren’t raised with any religious training at all. Getting them to understand why Biblical marriage instruction is so important is very difficult.

  19. Tom says:

    Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas is one of the best books of what it means to put the “Christian” in Christian marriage

  20. Barry Wiseman says:

    Harley also adapted HNHN to address specific problems parents face. I think it’s called His Needs, Her Needs for Parents. Had some good advice that the original book didn’t come out and say. This is a great list, Trey.

  21. Scott McCown says:

    Here are some I recommend to couples I counsel before marriage: (You listed # 4 HNHN). I read Financial Peace and HNHN but I’d read any of the others.

    – Scott

    Marriage Books I recommend:

    1. The Bible

    2. Dr. Nick Stinnett, Dr. Donnie Hilliard, & Nancy Stinnett, Magnificent Marriage: 10 Beacons Show the Way to Marriage Happiness, (Pillar Press:Montgomery, AL), 2000.

    3. H. Norman Wright, So Your Getting Married, (Regal Books; Ventura, CA), 1985.

    4. William F. Harley, His Needs, Her Needs: Building and Affair Proof Marriage, (Revell: Grand Rapids), 2001.

    5. Don and Jane McWhorter, Living Together in Knowledge: What Husbands and Wives Can Learn About Marriage from Each Other, (Publishing Designs:Hunstville), 1988.

    6. Dr. Ed Wheat, MD and Gayle Wheat, Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in a Christian Marriage 3rd Ed. (Revell:Grand Rapids), 1977, 1981, 1997.

  22. Amanda Downing says:

    What a great idea. I was once told the order in which you were supposed to love 1.) God 2.) your spouse 3.) your children. It’s so very easy to skip over 2 & concentrate on 3. Thanks for the great tip. I would love to hear one of your marriage retreats.

  23. Darren says:

    I don’t have a book to recomend. I remember doing a study on the Song of Solomon. The only thing I can remember from that study is this: Everyone runs life differently. You notice one day someone is running at the same speed with you. After a while, you spend time talking and running together. Before you know it, you look back, and you’ve ran life together… not missing a beat.

  24. Marlene says:

    I was very disappointed when I bought a couples devotional and my husband said he just didn’t get anything out of it. Maybe I need to try the sex books first!

  25. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Trey Morgan, Dads Who Believe. Dads Who Believe said: 7 Books to Better your Marriage (and FREE Book Give Away!) http://dlvr.it/GbnKm #fathers […]

  26. Wendy says:

    And I don’t think many of those would work in a marriage where one of the partners is not a Christian (apart from the 5 Love Languages perhaps). Any ideas for books for someone who is not married to a Christian?

  27. Alan says:

    I would agree with Tom, but I’ll take it one step further — no one should even think about reading any other book on marriage until they have read Gary Thomas’ book “Sacred Marriage”. It is not about changing your marriage, but about changing your attitude toward marriage. We have been sucked into the world’s philosophy that the purpose of marriage is to make me happy. The reason for most divorces comes down to “You don’t make me happy any more so I’ll find someone who does,” And if you think that doesn’t describe Christian marriages as well, you have your head in the sand.

    As a result, most books on marriage are designed to answer the question, “How can I have a happy marriage?” which is the wrong question to ask. Even a book as great as “His Needs, Her Needs” (which I love) is only valuable if I enter marriage with a selfless attitude. Otherwise (and I speak from experience), I can come away from that book saying, “I’m meeting your needs, but what are you doing to meet mine?”

    “Sacred Marriage” changes the approach altogether. The theme of the book is, “Marriage is not designed to make us happy; it’s designed to make us holy.” Whether my wife meets my needs are not, God can use my marriage to draw me closer to Him (and sometimes he can make me stronger best at those moments when my wife is meeting my needs the least!).

    And, like the proverbial elusive butterfly, once we stop chasing happiness and start focusing on holiness, we find that happiness lights on us (I again speak from experience).

    This is a must read for everyone!!

  28. I’ve read His Needs, Her Needs and it’s a fantastic book. All of those books look great, but I’d like to read Sheet Music, Songs in the Key of Solomon or Red-Hot Monogamy. Thanks for sharing these!

  29. Lee says:

    I think “The Purpose Driven Life” helps some. It helped me look at marriage as “it’s not about me…”

  30. Nathenia says:

    If anyone is interested, the Kindle version of Sheet Music is FREE for a limited time on Amazon.
    I’d also recommend “Love Life for Every Married Couple” by Ed Wheat. When my hubby and I got married (27 yrs in May) my aunt got us a copy. We enjoyed this book so much that over the years have given the book as wedding gift. I love giving 2 copies. When they open the gift, the look on their face is usually one of surprise because it’s two of the same book. I tell them, one’s for him and the other for her and each one is off limits to the other, but they need to read it together. The book my aunt gave us, is now tattered and torn, full of notes in the margins and highlighted throughout.

  31. Kara says:

    Reading together is a great idea! Thank you for the starter list!

  32. J. Delton says:

    My wife and I have read several of those on your list…really liked Sheet Music, Love and Respect, and His Needs Her Needs. I want to check out Songs in the Key of Solomon. We’ve also enjoyed Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.

  33. Jennifer says:

    My husband is a believer but not a baptized Christian. He does attend church and helps to raise our son in a Christian home. We have read the 5 Love languages together and might I also suggest another, specifically for a husband (believer or not), The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I think that praying for your spouse, even if they do not know it will bring you closer. I love how our God can work in ways like that :) I’d definetly be interested in reading another book Trey. Thanks for the offer and suggestions.

    PS There is also a book The Power of a Praying Husband too.

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Jennifer … thanks for sharing your heart and your love for your husband. Continue to love him and show him Jesus. I’m glad you are reading together.

  34. Shawnele says:

    Love the list – and totally agree that Sacred Marriage is a must read! The subtitle is, “what if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” EXCELLENT book!

  35. Amy Detwiler says:

    Pick me!!! :)

    I love Sheet Music and Zach actually didn’t mind reading it together!! 😉

  36. Kristin says:

    Is it still Red Hot Monogamy if you have a fever blister???

  37. Jewel Melton says:

    I’d recommend “For Men Only” and “For Women Only” by by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn. It discusses the “inner lives” of men and women that well, sometimes we just don’t think or realize to share with each other. That was one Steve and I read before we got married, along with “His Needs, Her Needs” and “Love Busters” (both of which I recommend also). But the For Men/Women Only books are simply, tasteful, short and easy to read Biblical focused books.

    Thanks, Trey, for being so active in helping other Christians, especially in marriage!

  38. Shane McLoud says:

    I would love to read one of these books with my wife. I have read some of them but I do not have them in my library. I would also love for my wife to meet you and Lea, you both have been an important part of my life, both in the past when we grew up together, and now through your blog. Remember anytime ya’ll are in Abilene, look me up we can have lunch or something.

  39. Amy O'Connor says:

    These all sound like great books. Thanks for sharing! My husband and I are now reading The Five Love Languages. It’s a wonderful book as well. Makes me tear up!

  40. Shiann says:

    This is a good list. Sheet Music, in its kindle version, is currently free at Amazon.

  41. Steve Gauntt says:

    Its not for me…My marriage books get placed into the hands of others who come to my office. Sometimes they return. I’m discovering that my shelves need more resources to pass on…so I’m shamelessly looking for a free book. :)

  42. Angela says:

    These books look great! I will keep this list. I have not read this book yet but am interested in it as well.

    http://browseinside.zondervan.com/index.aspx?isbn13=9780310242826

  43. katy says:

    I appreciate your recommendations as me and my fiance’ have been looking for devotional books to read and study together.

    thanks

  44. Nell Finney says:

    Trey, we enjoyed you and Leah so very much on Saturday. It was so good to reconnect. You did a super job as usual speaking at the Retreat! Keep up the good work! Love you guys.

  45. Hazel says:

    My husband & I have only read a couple of the ones from your list…HNHN, Quiet Times For Couples. We have been wanting to read many of the others…Sheet Music, Red-Hot Monogamy & many more…you gave us a lengthy list at a Marriage Retreat in the fall(Shallowater). We really do not have one we can request. May God continue to richly bless you in all you do!

  46. Sharon says:

    Love & Repsect was amazing. We were a bit out of practice reading together, but glad we did it. Financial Peace will be the next book we read.

  47. Trey, have you read The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted by Chapman ?

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
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