According to most women, affection is their #1 need. Affection has nothing to do with sex and is more that just holding hands at the mall.
Affection actually comes in many different forms. The key is finding the one your wife likes best. Here are a few different ways a man can show affection…
- Words of affection or praise. That’s anything from telling your wife she looks beautiful in an outfit she’s wearing to reminding her that she’s a wonderful mother. “I love you” is also a great thing to say on a daily basis.
- Gifts. We’re not talking expensive things like a new car, a diamond ring, or as I found out … a hot-tub (that’s for another post), but little things like some chocolate, a new outfit she’s been eyeing or a single rose. It’s not about what it costs, but just that you thought about her.
- Acts of kindness. Here are a few ideas: keep your wife’s car filled with gas so that she never has to do it, turn on her seat warmer in the car before she gets in or clean up the kitchen after supper. Leaving sweet little notes for your wife to find is always a winner in the “acts of kindness” area. An act of kindness tells your wife that you love her.
- Quality time. There’s nothing more valuable to us these days than our time. When you’re investing quality time in your relationship, it grows. Quality time means doing things together that she likes to do sometimes … like shopping for clothes or shoes, or as painful as it may seem, seeing an occasional chick-flick.
- Physical touch. For some men non-sexual touching is an oxymoron, meaning that those two words don’t go together. But what wives often needs sometimes is their hand held, their hair stroked or their shoulders rubbed with the understanding that it is not to be a precursor to sex. Sex and affection are two totally different things.
What I’ve found interesting is that even though Lea likes all five of these forms of affection, she likes some better than others. I try hard to do all five things, but I’ve learned that she LOVES it when for no reason at all I surprise her with a little gift that simply says, “I love you.” I’d bet that if you’re a woman you feel the same way. All are essential, but you may like one better than the others.
I’d love to know for a “Strong Marriages” seminar I’m doing … when it comes to these different ways to show affection …
- Women, do you like some better than another?
- Men, how are you doing at covering these 5 things? And do you know which of these your wife likes?