5 Things I’d Love To Tell Kim Kardashian About Marriage

I’m not a Kim Kardashian expert. I didn’t watch her wedding, I don’t follow her life on television, and I didn’t know much about her until this week. BUT… I did become interested in her when I read that after 72 days she was bailing out on her marriage and filing for divorce. The whole sad story hurts my heart for a lot of reasons. I don’t know what part hurt the most … the fact that she reportedly spent 10 million on her wedding, OR the fact that it only  lasted 72 days.

I’m not here to judge Ms Kardashian, but I would have LOVED to give her some marriage advice. Just a few pointers that I think might have made a difference in her marriage.  If she would have asked, here are a few things I would have liked to have told her….

  1. THE MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WEDDING.  Succeeding in marriage has NOTHING to do with a fancy wedding and EVERYTHING to do with investing time and energy in the actual marriage. The marriage is a thousand times more important than the wedding, so invest as much time, effort and money in your marriage as you do the wedding. If you’re looking for something fairytale … strive for a fairytale marriage not wedding.
  2. MARRIAGE IS A TOTAL “ALL-IN” COMMITMENT. God never created marriage as a disposable relationship. Instead, God intended marriage for life. Yes, I know that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that’s not what God actually wanted. His plan for marriage was an all-in total commitment and was never a disposable, “We’ll see if this works out, and if it doesn’t we’ll get a divorce,” relationship. If you made a commitment, keep it. Love is a choice you make, not something you feel.  You may not “feel” in love anymore, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t love your spouse. For more on this point, read this. 
  3. PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING IS NOT AN OPTION, BUT A MUST. Ms Kardashian, if you’re divorcing for irreconcilable differences after only 72 days … then you missed something BIG TIME. As mentioned earlier we should invest as much time in the marriage as the wedding and pre-marital counseling is a HUGE must. You should know WELL the person you are about to marry and engagements and pre-marital counseling help you to do just that. It’s BEFORE you’re married that you work out all the things that are irreconcilable … not wait until after your married.
  4. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT PUTTING THE OTHER PERSON’S NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN NEEDS. It’s been said that marriage is 50-50 give and take relationship. I think it works better when couples give 100% to their spouse and in return their spouse gives 100% back. When your focus is on meeting your spouse’s needs, most of the time they’ll want to do the same. Strive to “out do” one another in marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 MSG
  5. DON’T QUIT. If I was a cusser, a screamer, or a yeller, then this is where I’d do it! Because I want you to understand, “WHATEVER YOU DO … DON’T QUIT!  It’s so frustrating to see couples invest years (and children) into their marriage, and the first real hiccup that comes along, they bail out!  STOP IT! Whether you’ve been married 72 days or 17 years … don’t quit. Seek help when you come to an impasse. Look for outside help to get you through a problem, but whatever you do DON’T QUIT!

I’m not here to judge Kim Kardashian, because I have no real clue what happened to her marriage. But my heart goes out to the sanctity of marriage, because weddings that cost 10 million dollars shouldn’t end 72 days later.

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting…” ~Ephesians 5:25 MSG

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
21 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Scott says:

    Yea for you! Another great post on marriage. I wish the world would sit up and listen to what you and others have to say about marriage and what it should be.

  2. Amy O'Connor says:

    Wonderful post, Trey! I really like your point on a 50/50 marriage. That is something I like to remind myself of. Even if I don’t feel “in love” or that he is giving 100%, I have to give it my all because I can never give up because that is the way God wants it. It’s tough to do at times but it is so worth it!

  3. I agree with everything you say Trey. I feel very strongly about it in fact. I think that I would either include a paragraph or a #6 to say that any successful marriage is built upon grace as much as love. While we are supposed to put others needs before our own every marriage struggles on this very point and this is where it is tempting to throw the towel in … UNLESS grace is foundational to the relationship. Our husbands and our wives — as well as our sons and daughters — ought to be objects of our grace and our love.

    One more comment. Some of us will read this and it strikes us hard because we DO buy into this worldview and yet are among the statistics. I found it interesting that you pulled the number 17 out of the air … the number of years I was married to a woman. Some are divorced but did not seek it …

    I love your passion for marriage. I share it. Men love your wives and be proud enough of it to “show it.”

    Shalom,
    Bobby Valentine

    • Trey Morgan says:

      You are 100% correct about the grace and about divorce itself. I often remind myself that God said, “I hate divorce,” (Malachi), but did not say “I hate divorced people.” The hate for divorce has to be in the amount of pain and suffering it causes to so many.

      • Tis true Trey. Very few things are as painful as divorce. I have a good friend that lost a wife to death and a wife to divorce. In his experience the divorce was even more painful. Neither are good.

        We really do need to teach on loving wives and husbands and I send people to your blog on a daily basis nearly. Your recent post on “Doting” was classic. I say that because a week ago I had a FB “friend” sort of disfellowship me (unfriend me) in their words “because I’m tired of the mushy I love you stuff.” I wrote back and replied … bon voyage! BC I am not embarrassed to brag about my wife to the world in any capacity. I should have used the word “Dote” but wasnt quick enough!! LOL

        Keep up the good work. Christians need to lighten up, read Song of Songs more (not less), and stop being so judgmental.

        Bobby V

  4. Mark says:

    You hate to see someone made into an object lesson, but this whole situation embodies so many teachable principles. I think you’ve done so here respectfully, and really appreciate your article.

  5. Carol says:

    Marriage license 16 years ago- $20
    gold band from Wal-mart – $25
    getting married in your sisters house – $free
    Sticking it out thru thick and thin and still loving the one I married – PRICELESS

  6. Tre' says:

    Great message Trey! I’m still single and in no rush to marry. If its meant to be I’ll have that someone special but this really gives me something to think about when that special someone and time comes along.

  7. myislandpearl says:

    Wives be submissive to your husband in everything. Money or being popular means nothing in God’s eyes.

  8. Ed says:

    I am also not a fan. But somehow I had a gut feeling in me this would happen sooner or later. Especially with a family that other than being lead by an olympic dad, had no business being in the spotlight.

    Simply put…put REAL Time, energy and work into a marriage, and it’ll work. I would even advise couples to date or even court each other for a couple of years before they decide to get married.

  9. Lori says:

    I know you know this, but all the above still doesn’t mean anything without a vital, loving relationship with Jesus Christ. And I say that because I know from experience – my spouse of 20+ years walked away from our family several years ago. After all this time, he still has not had any contact with his sons. He knew all the above, but his relationship with the Lord was not his number one priority. Separate from our loving Lord, we can do nothing.

  10. Dennis Threadgill says:

    Satan’s Statistics– Why do we use them?

    DIVORCE RATE

    “How many times have you heard or read that 50 percent of U.S. marriages end in divorce? It’s not true. Yes, the number of divorces each year is about half the number of marriages that same year. But that’s like computing the death rate by comparing the number of people who die with the number of people who are born. That ignores those who neither were born nor died during that 12-month period. The 50 percent divorce figure ignores the number of intact marriages from years and decades earlier. The truth is that about one of 50 marriages ends each year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Pollster Louis Harris maintains that 90 percent of marriages survive until one partner dies.” (Reader’s Digest, Nov. 1996, p. 90)

  11. Carlie says:

    We have put so much onto materialism, that we have forgotten the spiritual commitment that is required. Now, more than ever, we need to bring back the elements of happiness and integrity.

  12. Erika says:

    Great post. When I hear someone say marriage is a 50/50 I always say really? where is the other 50 going too?

  13. David Creek says:

    Well put.

    Now the word is it all may have been a hoax – the couple were said to bring in 18 million for giving them the television rights to air the wedding, 9 million for the groom and 9 million for the bride.

    Whether it was a hoax or not, Amen to everything you said brother.

  14. Wanjiru Waigz says:

    Good advice. I am glad i came across this website this morning. I have learnt alot and im willing to make a few changes to my life. I would term it as knowlegde of the heart. Thank you and i pray that u will continue ministering the word of God. Keep up the good work.

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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