25 Ways to Kill A Good Marriage

I did a “Strong Marriages = Happy Families” seminar in Shallowater, Texas this weekend. It’s sure had me in a marriage-state-of-mind. There are probably a 100 things that will kill a good marriage, but here are my 25…

  1. Demand that your spouse meets your needs.
  2. Pout when you don’t get your way.
  3. Use the silent treatment when you are mad.
  4. Get angry … often.
  5. Be critical.
  6. Tell your spouse they need to change, but you make no effort to change.
  7. Never be willing to meet your spouse’s needs.
  8. Make no effort to improve yourself or your marriage.
  9. Never compliment or praise your spouse.
  10. Speak negatively about your spouse around other people.
  11. Make no effort to keep yourself “looking good” for your spouse.
  12. Use derogatory names like stupid, dumb, ignorant and idiot.
  13. Always blame your spouse for the problems. It’s never your fault.
  14. Take your mate for granted.
  15. Quit trying to impress your spouse (you’re married, it’s not needed anymore).
  16. Withhold sex.
  17. Never take any time to get away without the kids.
  18. When arguing … bring up old stuff from the past.
  19. Have a short fuse.
  20. When angry be verbally abusive.
  21. Never seek outside help when you have problems.
  22. Don’t tell your spouse how much you love or appreciate them. Just expect them to know it.
  23. Have a “it’s my way or the highway” attitude.
  24. Spend more time with your friends than your spouse.
  25. Never say “I love you.”

Can you think of any others?

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
18 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Christine says:

    Now Trey, what’s the flip side? 25 Ways to Save Your Marriage (or “make your marriage come alive”)?

  2. jel says:

    hogging the covers 😕

  3. Sarah S. says:

    jel makes me laugh… :-) I sleep in the middle of the bed… is that so wrong?

    Trey, you’ve still gotta listen to Andy Stanley’s iMarriage series. Seriously.

  4. Amy O'Connor says:

    Great post! There are things in there that I know (whether intentional or unintentional) I am guilty of and have been working on in my marriage. Marriage is definitely not easy and I don’t believe God meant for it to be. Thank you for a wonderful post!

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Amy … We’re all the same way. Lea and I both have to stay on top of things to keep from getting too comfortable in our marriage. If I’m not paying attention I get busy doing life instead of striving to meet her needs. Blessings in your marriage, Amy.

  5. jasonS says:

    Excellent list here, Trey! Thanks. I hope more people will see these things and respond in humility. I thank God for my marriage, but it’s been a lot of hard work, surrender to God, and compromise (the good kind). This is so important so thank you again.

  6. Thanks, Trey…
    I needed the reminder! How’s Taylor? I can’t remember if he is still on the field or not. I was an AIM Assistant his year.

    Lots of love to your family,
    Jessica

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Hi Jessica … Taylor is great. He’s home this weekend, which we are enjoying. He and his brother started college in August in Lubbock. They’re going to South Plains taking as many basics as they can. I will pass on to him that you asked about him.

  7. Anita says:

    26. Don’t get him what he wants for his birthday. :)

  8. […] 3. Trey Morgan printed a great list this week that will cause you to think. You might even want to print this one out and file it in your marriage folder. His good post is “25 Ways to Kill a Good Marriage.” […]

  9. Lisa says:

    Trey..My husband and I have been married for 27 years. As I read your list I saw things both of us did i our “early years”. I was 19, he was 21. We were always striving to make our marriage better. My point…it starts early on with a firm commitment to God and your spouse to stick it out and make it better! Life is Good! Blessings to you and your family.

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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