We laughed recently when we heard a woman say, “If my husband ever says there is no spark in our relationship, I’m going to taz him. Then when he wakes up, I’ll ask him if he still feels that way.” That’s not the way to bring a spark back into your relationship, but here are 10 good ways (and much less painful )…
1. TELL YOUR SPOUSE YOU APPRECIATE THEM: Refocus on what your spouse does well. Early in the relationship we tend to notice all our spouse’s great qualities, while overlooking their flaws. As marriage goes on, we tend to become guilty of noticing all of their flaws while overlooking their great qualities. Say “thank you” for the little things.
2. DO THE THINGS YOU ONCE DID: Visit back before you were married, when you were in the process of trying to win your spouse, you did things like … flirt, brag on one another, call for no reason, send flowers, leave notes for one another, etc. Go back to doing the things you did pre-marriage to win one another. Work as hard to keep your spouse as you did to win them in the beginning.
3. WATCH AN OLD MOVIE THAT YOU BOTH LOVE: After the kids are in bed, pick out a romantic comedy or action movie and snuggle up on the couch.
4. WATCH YOUR OLD WEDDING VIDEO: Pull out that old wedding video and watch it together. It will bring back some great memories and laughs.
5. DO SOMETHING FUN TOGETHER: Most of the time when marriages struggle, it’s not due to a lack of love, but a lack of friendship. You build friendship by spending time together and doing things together. Pick out some things you like to do together, and get after it.
6. GO ON A FANCY DATE: We love to date, and occasionally we love to go on a fancy date. So dress up, wear something your spouse likes, eat somewhere nice and go see a special play, etc. Don’t forget to bring the “romance” back home with you.
7. PLAN A WEEKEND ADVENTURE: If you can get the kids lined out, plan a weekend for just the two of you. This is so healthy for your relationship.
8. SEND A SPECIAL MESSAGE: Send a love letter to your spouse via snail mail or a sexy text message. Your spouse will love it.
9. HAVE MORE SEX: Be spontaneous: have it during the day or in a different place. Don’t be afraid to try something different. Intimacy is what separates soulmates from roommates.
10. BE INTERESTED: Show interest in your spouse’s day. Greet them with a hug and kiss and ask them about their day … and then listen closely with your eyes and your ears.