People make mistakes in marriage, sometimes really, REALLY bad mistakes. Many innocent spouses often feel like it’s their duty (or right) to punish their spouse for mistakes they’ve made in the marriage. They punish their spouse with things like the silent treatment, guilt trips, withholding affection, or constantly acting angry and hurt.
When you choose to be the punisher, instead of the healer, here are some things that happen in your relationship …
1. You poison your marriage even worse.
2. You cause even more bitterness to set into your relationship.
3. You greatly delay the recovery and healing that needs to take place in your marriage.
4. Instead of bringing healing your marriage, you drive your spouse farther and farther away.
Instead of punishing them with the things above, do your best to no longer hold it against them. It doesn’t mean what they did was right, it simply means you’re going to choose not to retaliate. It means you value your marriage over your pride and your hurt. It won’t be easy, but you will actually find more peace in it than you will in retaliating.
“But they deserve to be punished … ” we often here. Think of it this way, everyday God doesn’t give you and I the punishment that we deserve … AND He expects us to treat others the same way.