There is some bad marriage advice out there. We don’t know where some of these got started, but they are WAY off the mark.
1. YOU SHOULDN’T BE YOUR SPOUSE’S BEST FRIEND:
Actually studies show that the divorce rate drops to 20% in couples who feel as though they are married to their best friend.
2. ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER:
Long absences from your spouse are actually very hard on your marriage. While occasional times away may make the heart grow fonder, being gone all the time from your spouse does the opposite. Separation is hard on marriages.
3. MARRIAGE IS EASY IF YOU JUST FIND THE RIGHT PERSON:
Don’t believe this. First, marriage isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. Second, marriage isn’t as much about finding the right person as it is being the right person.
4. YOUR KIDS SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST:
Obviously, we need to make sacrifices for our children, but too many couples put their marriage on hold while they are raising kids only to wind up with an “empty nest” and an empty marriage at the same time.
5. WHEN THE SPARK IS GONE, THE MARRIAGE IS OVER:
No, when the spark has disappeared, reignite the spark! If your car runs out of gas, you don’t go buy another car, you FILL IT UP! When a light goes out in your house, you don’t buy a new house, you change the light bulb. Don’t throw out your marriage – work to make it good again.
6. IGNORE PROBLEMS AND THEY’LL EVENTUALLY GO AWAY:
That’s a myth. Sweeping things under-the-rug only makes for worse problems later. When you are having issues in your marriage, fix them.
7. YOUR SPOUSE WILL KNOW YOUR NEEDS WITHOUT HAVING TO TELL THEM:
No way. Just because you are married doesn’t mean your spouse can read your mind. You have to tell your spouse what your needs are in order to have them met.
8. IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS OR CONFLICT, YOU HAVE A BAD MARRIAGE:
Conflict happens in every marriage. There will never be a perfect marriage, because there are no perfect people.
9. GOD WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY:
“I believe God wants me to be happy in marriage, but I’m not,” has been muttered a million times. Understand this, we DO believe God wants you to be happy, but not to the point of checking out on your marriage just because you don’t “feel” happy. The feelings of happiness in marriage come and go … and you have to work to keep it going well. You will not be happy all of the time. Love doesn’t check out in hard times, AND your spouse isn’t solely responsible for your happiness.
10. GET MARRIAGE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX:
Danger! You are headed down a path of trouble if you’re sharing marriage problems with someone of the opposite sex. Stop it now, because that’s how affairs start.
Can you think of any others you’d add?
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