LIE FOR YOUR KIDS. When a parent writes their child a note to school saying their child was sick or had a doctor’s appointment, and really they just over slept …. YOU are teaching them it’s OKAY to lie. Don’t you get it? NEVER lie to help cover up mistakes for your kids.- DON’T GIVE THEM ANY RULES. Just let them do what they want. They don’t need any direction.
- WHEN YOUR CHILD GETS IN TROUBLE AUTOMATICALLY THINK EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET THEM. Your child is perfect, how could they ever do anything wrong? If your child gets in trouble it’s got to be somebody’s fault, but surely not your kid’s fault. When I was a kid, if I got in trouble at school (yea, hard to believe), I got in trouble when I got home as well. Now days, when a child gets in trouble at school, the parent thinks it’s the school’s fault, the teacher’s fault or the principal is picking on my child! Have you ever thought that your child just might have done something wrong?
- NEVER DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN JUST THREATEN THEM WITH IT. Discipline is overrated. Just always threaten to punish them without ever following through. Want more on disciplining children? Click here!
- DON’T MAKE GOD A PRIORITY IN THEIR LIVES. They don’t need church, faith or a large dose of God these days. Instead let them discover their faith on their own … once they get older.
- PULL STRINGS TO GET YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF TROUBLE. Actually, if your child has done something that deserves punishment, let them be responsible for their own actions. Don’t threaten to call a lawyer, talk to the principal or talk to a superior to get your child out of trouble for something they’ve done. Have you ever heard of “you reap what you sow” or you have to be responsible for your own actions?
- BE INCONSISTENT. Tell your kids to do one thing then you do another. Tell them not to lie, and then let them hear you lie. Don’t practice what you preach. INSTEAD … be the parent that’s brave enough to get up and turn off a television show that doesn’t need to be on. Teach them by your example. Let your children see you consistently living what you preach. Be consistent.
- GIVE YOUR KIDS EVERYTHING THEY WANT. They may think they need a new car, the latest electronic games and the best clothes, but sometimes you have to say, “No.”
- STRIVE TO BE THEIR FRIEND MORE THAN THEIR PARENT. Believe it or not, your children need a parent more than they need another buddy. I wholeheartedly believe in being friends with your children, but not at the cost of giving up the role as their parent.
- UNDERESTIMATE THE ROLE OF THE FATHER. This coming year 40% of the children born in our country will be born in a home where there is no father. We’ve quickly become a country where the men like to fool around, but they don’t like to stay around. Despite Ephesians 6:4 telling us that it’s the father’s role to train the children, fathers are not taking responsibility for that role. Men … man-up, it’s time to be a dad.
- TRY TO MAKE YOUR KIDS THINK YOU’RE PERFECT. Parents are imperfect and mess up often, your children need to hear you say, “I’m sorry,” or “I was wrong,” or “I didn’t handle this right.” When you screw up … admit it.
Can you think of any I missed?
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 23 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
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Helicopter parents who solve all the problems, fight all the battles, and never let their kids struggle with problems and learn to deal with new problems hamstring their kids future
Excellent advice! Tough love is needed, but society sure does make a parent feel guilty for loving their kids that way.
Hit the nail on the head..Still have to practice what you preach.
12. Do their homework for them. You are much smarter than them and will get them a better grade if you do their work. By consistently doing their homework, you will have successfully prepared them to do nothing hard in their lives and to fail out of college quickly!
Great list Trey!
Be sure and let your children know all your problems. Be negative about everything. Gripe about the teacher, preacher, elders etc. Let them know everything you know from the time they can understand it, a guaranteed ruination. I like your list.
Don’t be consistent with discipline!
Don’t shepherd their heart – only expect them to obey!
Great list. The I have found three things that have made all the difference in my children (and you touched on most of these).
1) Honesty – Them and you. In my home honesty reigns supreme and they have known since day one to be honest. In fact, I have heard them tell their friends not to lie to their dad.
2) Trust – If you don’t trust them, they will never trust you and what you tell them even when they don’t understand.
3) Belief – No one is going to believe in your children if you don’t. I have stood there shocking teachers because when I got called to the school I would ask my child (in front of the teacher) what happened first and then believe them and speak to the teacher. One teacher even told me “Are you really going to believe your child?” and I said “Unequivocally”. The best part was on the way home my daughter had to ask me what that meant.
One that kind of flows from this, if there is honesty, trust and belief, your kids will see you as their biggest fan and they will be freed in Christ to rise to all that God has for them knowing that you are right there cheering, coaching, helping and even disciplining to help them.
I don’t think you had one for “Fail to believe in them” that is why I posted.
[...] 11 Easy Ways to Ruin Your Children by Trey [...]
Religion doesn’t need to be a staple in our lives to make my child a good child. I grew up mostly atheist and I still knew right from wrong. Saying that my kids aren’t going to be good just because we don’t take them to church is pretty ignorant, arrogant and asinine.
Great list. And here is one for the opposite list:
http://textsincontext.wordpress.com/2012/09/06/teaching-children-the-ten-commandments/
Thanks Michael