10 TRAITS OF A HEALTY FAMILY

  1. A HEALTHY FAMILY DISPLAYS AN IRRATIONAL LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. It’s not just any love, it’s irrational and unconditional. It’s an “I’d die for you love.” It’s a love that would go to any length to help one another.
  2. A HEALTHY FAMILY COMMUNICATES TO ONE ANOTHER IN A LOVING AND GRACEFUL WAY. The inability to communicate is one of the top reasons for divorce in America. We need to learn to communicate in a way that shows love and grace. No yelling, no name calling and no pouting when you don’t get your way. As Steven Covey puts it, “See first to understand and then to be understood.”
  3. A HEALTHY FAMILY AFFIRMS THE VALUE AND UNIQUENESS OF EACH PERSON IN THE FAMILY. God must have a sense of humor. Why else would He put polar opposites in families. I wrote about this recently in detail (here). Every person in your family is valuable and important. God made them just the way He wanted them. There should be no black sheep or outcasts in families.
  4. A HEALTHY FAMILY VOWS TO NEVER ABUSE, SHAME OR INTIMIDATE ONE ANOTHER. The most deeply wounded in this world are those who have looked to their parents for love and support, but instead of receiving love they were yelled at, kicked or hit. Parents who abuse, shame and intimidate their children take home all the prizes at a “soul-shattering” contest. Healthy families don’t do this!
  5. A HEALTHY FAMILY SHARES A COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION. Families today don’t need a little dose of God but a LARGE dose of God. Families need dads to be the spiritual leaders in the homes and not just send their families to church but go with them.
  6. A HEALTHY FAMILY INSTILLS A SENSE OF RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER. Parents should start teaching their children at a young age that God loves everyone. He doesn’t love one class of people more than another or one race of people more than another. Red, yellow, black and white, they are all precious in His sight. We are to respect others, because God loves them.
  7. A HEALTHY FAMILY TEACHES BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS. It’s frustrating to look around and see that no one wants to take responsibility for their actions anymore. Everyone is looking to blame everyone else for what they did wrong. It’s time that we start teaching in our families again that we take responsibilities for our own actions.
  8. A HEALTHY FAMILY PLAYS TOGETHER. The most vivid memories I have as a kid are those that involve a time that we were playing as a family. A vacation, a backyard ballgame or a trip to grandparents. Playing as a family is essential. It builds lasting memories and teaches us it’s okay to have fun. I believe the family that plays together stays together.
  9. A HEALTHY FAMILY CELEBRATES RITUALS AND TRADITIONS TOGETHER. Rituals and traditions teach your children permanence. It tells them ahead of time, “we’ll be together again next year.” I have a friend that always took his four boys to the state basketball tournament every year. They stayed in the same hotel, ate at the same restaurants and stopped at the same places. It taught his boys that it didn’t matter how crazy things got in life sometimes, they always knew that come spring they’d be going to Austin for the basketball tourney with dad. They would be together and everything was going to be okay.
  10. A HEALTHY FAMILY SEEKS HELP WHEN THEY HAVE PROBLEMS. Healthy families don’t sweep problems under the rug. They don’t pretend like everything is okay. Instead, a healthy family seeks help when they have a problem they can’t handle by themselves. They seek help from a counselor, minister, elder or friend. But what ever you do, don’t just ignore it and think it’ll go away.

HOMEWORK: How about a little homework assignment? I’m planning on sharing this list with my family tonight at supper to see what they think. I plan on asking them how we are doing on these things and see if they can think of any others I’ve missed. I challenge you to do the same. Sit down with your family and talk about the list, and ask them, “How are we doing on each of these? Are we a healthy family that’s batting 1000 or are we striking out on some of these?” Then after discussing the list, post it on the refrigerator or some place that it can be seen, so it will remind you of what you’ve promised each other. Besides in a few months your son or daughter will probably look at it and remind you, “Number 8 on this list says we’re supposed to play together … do we intend to do that in my lifetime?”

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
11 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Anonymous says:

    sounds like a great congregation, too.

    good stuff. it will prob end up in our bulletin soon.

    brian

  2. Matthew says:

    I love these ten top lists.

  3. Matt H. says:

    Great list. I could use some improvment on some of these. Thanks for the thoughts.

  4. Chris says:

    I will accept the homework assignment and report back to you as to our score.

    You need to make a printable version of this available, like in my email box for example. LOL

    Thanks for always posting items that are beneficial to me and my family.

  5. lisa says:

    GREAT list! Love it.

  6. Anonymous says:

    WHAT?!?! homework
    I thought I was just supposed to show up, get the message, enjoy myself and leave…you know, like church…

    brian

  7. David says:

    When I was a kid, we used to say ‘the family that prays together stays together’ – I’m sure that applies to healthy families too!

    David

  8. jerry says:

    Trey,

    I have been reading your blog for a while and I really appreciate your words. Thanks again for what you do and I, too, agree – this list speaks to us as a body of believers.

    keep praying, serving and seeking!!

  9. preacherman says:

    Trey,
    Excellent list brother.
    I know one of the hardest jobs that I have is being a husband and father especially with having young children. One of the things that I am going to strive at is being a godly husband and father for my family. If there is one thing in my life that I rather succeed in more than anything else other of course than my Christian life it is my family. I believe this is one of the best post that you have ever done brother. It has challenged me. I want to thank you. God bless you brother and I hope you have a great day.

  10. David Kirk says:

    Trey:
    Excellent list…for families and churches too!

  11. mmlace says:

    Good stuff! Thanks for stopping by, you’re welcome to “barge in” on my blog anytime! The more, the merrier! Yes, I believe I’ve seen your comments around the blogosphere alot recently, but hadn’t visited your page until just now. Really good stuff, I’ll add a link and look forward to reading more of your writings! Have a great day and much love!–mmlace

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
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Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • it's still early. :)
  • no worries. Luke is a very popular gospel during the Christmas season. 😜 #BabyJesusStory
  • Mitch Moreland has a combined 1.6 WAR since the start of 2011 at a premium position (DH/1B). That position needs to produce.
  • definitely don't disagree with that. We will miss his glove. But he had such a quiet bat for someone at first base.
  • I only disliked him when he was at the plate.

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