10 Things HUSBANDS Should NEVER Do in their Marriage

Earlier this week I posted about “10 Things Wives Shouldn’t Do In Marriage.”  Here’s a list for the husbands….

  1. NEVER be unwilling to forgive. Don’t hold on to all the negative things about your relationship and never bring up past hurts. Instead, remind her that you love her … everyday.
  2. NEVER plop your fat rear-end down in a chair after work without first asking your wife if she needs some help with something. Just because your workday has ended, doesn’t mean you can’t still help with hers. Run a vacuum, load the dishwasher, help put the kids to bed, etc. It’s your house too. Get up and do something to help.
  3. NEVER be critical of your wife in public. There is NEVER an excuse for this. If you have an issue with your wife, discuss it with her, not your buddies at the golf course.
  4. NEVER think that communication is overrated. Your wife needs communication as much as you need air to breath. When she asks, “What did you do today at work?” Don’t say, “Nothing!” instead, give her all the details.
  5. NEVER stop pursuing your wife.  Work as hard everyday to keep her as you did to win her before you were married. Things like sending flowers, holding hands, leaving notes, etc.  It’s called affection. Those things should NEVER end.  One of the things you can do is date your wife (at least once a week).  One of the worst things you can do for your marriage is not investing any “alone time” as a husband and wife. Find a sitter and take your wife out for supper.
  6. NEVER stop praising your wife. You can’t over-praise your wife. Tell her she’s still beautiful, that she’s a good mother or a fantastic wife. No wife has ever said, “I don’t like it when you say nice things about me.” Be her BIGGEST fan.
  7. NEVER EVER say something critical about your wife’s new haircut. There are a few things women take VERY serious, and their hair style is one of them. Being critical about your wife’s new hair style will only lead to the doghouse, sofa or both.
  8. NEVER hide things from your wife. Honesty and openness is HUGE to your wife. Don’t hide text messages, friendships, emails, passwords, etc. Openness leads to accountability, which is excellent in marriage.
  9. NEVER invest more time into your hobbies or occupation than your marriage and family. Your marriage should be FIRST priority, your family second and then your occupation and hobbies. Don’t be dumb enough to put your marriage and family on the back burner and later regret it.
  10. NEVER refer to keeping your own children as “babysitting.”  They’re your kids and you are their father … it’s not babysitting, it’s called being a father.

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Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1151 articles by
18 Comments Post a Comment
  1. gator68 says:

    My dear sweet husband thinks that him working 24/7 IS investing in our marriage & family. While I’m so very grateful for his job that allows me to stay home to take care of our family, I wish he would put some of that effort into “us”. Time with him is priceless, literally. When he does have time off he’s exhausted.

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Here’s an interesting stat I read recently … “78% of the wives polled said they’d be content with their husbands making less money IF it meant that he’d be home more with the family.”

      That’s HUGE.

      • robert dozier says:

        That’s easy! Did they say that they would be happy spending less money? That’s the real question!

        • Ayla says:

          Usually people are happy with big pay checks, I agree that some women might be frustrated when there is less money in the bank. From my own experience, my husband is in the marine reserves. He deployed to Iraq one month after our daughter was born. He missed her whole first year and my heart broke for him. He came home and worked his civillian job that requires a lot of out of town time. We needed money so he worked 26 hours straight his first thanksgiving home and then we had christmas at 3 am because he worked christmas in order to get holiday pay. Then he deployed again to Afghanistan and when he came back again he had to work his butt off going out of town or grueling 20 hours or more at a time( he works for a power company). I am grateful for his sacrifice so we could buy a home, new car. I went back to school and get to be a stay at home mom. I still would rather have a little less money and material possessions and never have to see him deploy again or be gone all the time and miss so many things in our children’s lives. It hurts all of us.

  2. Donovan says:

    After reading the “10 Things Wives Should NEVER Do” and then this one, I think you’ve put some equally tough things down for both. I know I’m often messing up 6-7 of what you’ve written down, and I’ve seen how it affects our marriage when I work to NOT do them. Thanks for the reminder again that I have no greater responsibility than my wife and family.

    I’d add “11. NEVER stop playing with your kids.” and “12. NEVER stop studying the Bible, especially with your wife and kids.” and “13. NEVER stop praying with your wife.” I guess you have to stop the list somewhere though, right?

  3. Barry Wiseman says:

    You know how nit-picky I can be, so…..

    What if my rear-end is in shape? Can I plop down in the easy chair then? (Note, this is entirely hypothetical.)

    Actually, you can vacuum in a way that works on the love handles. Just sayin’.

    If I say “good article,” will you try to come up with 20 more things husbands shouldn’t do? :-)

  4. Tina says:

    HI,Trey

    I was Married for almost 14 years. In May of this year I had to a divorce, The biggest thing that I through in my marriage that was a big problem and I did not see you list this.

    When I wanted to take a family trip we always had to go with his mom and dad. He wanted to spend all his time with him mom and dad. He talked to him family Mom, Dad, and sisters, all the time. Two or three hours a day. We always lived fare from them. I felt that he did not spend the time with the our kids, and where did I come in.

    I think it is very important that man make sure that there wife is more important than there mom and dad. I am not saying that mom and dad is not important, but the family that he has with his wife is the most important family that a husband can have, other that Jesus Christ.

    I just wanted to see what you through about this. I am going keep up with your post.

  5. David Barton says:

    I believe in loving my wife. I wished I had done something to keep her.

  6. TS says:

    Hi Trey,
    I am new to your site and so far enjoying it. I read your 10 things for wives and I think most of them could apply to both wives and husbands.

    Something I find interesting is, in the wives list, you mention something about sex twice. In the husbands list, I don’t see anything that says affection, intimacy or sex. As a divorced female, I would like to say, these are important to wives…at least some of us and should be to all. My marriage ended because my husband put his top interest into exercising, instead of me and our sons. I’m talking many hours…more than he put into his job. The affection, intimacy and sex stopped. Not really sure why…discussed multiple times, but no reasons or changes made. Contrary to belief, there are women who need those things, too. Without it, you do begin to feel the pain of rejection and feel unloved by the person who should love you most. Not to mention the bruising and scarring it does to your ego. I can certainly understand all the guys side who deal with this…I’m sure it is rare for it to be the way mine was. None the less, I think it shouldn’t be forgotten. At least mention of affection, if not sex.

    • Trey Morgan says:

      TS …

      I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. Totally understand where you are coming from. Generally “affection” is listed as the number 1 need by women. While I didn’t specifically mention the word affection, I was hoping men would pick up on number 5, “pursuing your wife like you did pre-marriage.” Which is things like flowers, holding hands, leaving notes, going on dates, etc (I think I’ll go back and add that). And while sexual fulfillment is different than affection, it’s is also something that wife needs too … especially when there is no affection and intimacy. While I did mention sex twice in the list of men … one was just dealing with a nasty habit some women take part in, “Withholding sex to punish their husbands or get their way.”

      It’s obvious that your past husband failed at number 9 when he put exercising and hobbies in front of his family. Thanks for your openness and honestly in your comment. I’m hoping that there are some husbands that will read your words and think to themselves and learn from there. Blessings

  7. [...] & marriage: 10 Things Husbands Should Never Do in their Marriage by Trey [...]

  8. tell it like it is says:

    So enjoy the information on your website. Thank you for it all.

    I think you should add to the 10 things for husbands never to do in their marriage. A big one is do not sign up for singles websites nor married but cheating websites and think that your wife will never find out. This also could go with the hiding email etc.

    What to do when this happens and you have kids to protect?

  9. Jennifer says:

    Love this list, perhaps you should have started with this one instead of the wife’s list? I agree with each point so much that I am not going to list them out like I did on your wife’s list post. I loved my husbands response to #2- he laughed hysterically followed with “Yep! Learned that one the hard way!”

    The only thing I would have added was touched on in the comments by Tina. A man needs to learn to leave his parents household and take care of his own household with his wife and children, putting his wife and children’s needs first. I know my mother in law made things very difficult for us for a few years and my husband struggled with that. She looked at things as loosing control and loosing a son, instead of gaining a daughter and grandchildren. Things have worked out now and she now sees us as her son’s family, and same goes with my husband. That does not mean that you no longer care for or about your parents, it just simply means that your wife and kids are your 1st priority.

    Also, as a daycare provider, I at times hear fathers complain about having to “babysit” their own kids, usually followed by “That’s why we pay you”. I have no problem reminding them that it’s called being a father, not babysitting.

    • Trey Morgan says:

      Jennifer …

      Great comment and well thought out. I got a lot out of your wisdom. My wife and I talk in our Stronger Marriage seminar about the difficulties of cutting the apron string and how it needs to be done. It can definitely be a “problem causer” for some.

      Blessings in your work with kiddos. We need more quality daycare providers. :)

  10. REBECCA says:

    I am a christian wife marriage to a minister for two year we have a son. But he can never agree with me for anything. against my will he decided to bring three of his relative to the house and now my home has become a family house how can i handle this. Is it to walk away or stay unhappy in this marriage?

  11. David Brent says:

    Serve liver and onions every night till they leave!

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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