- NEVER be unwilling to forgive. Don’t hold on to all the negative things about your relationship and never bring up past hurts.
- NEVER plop your fat rear-end down in a chair after work without first asking your wife if she needs some help with something. Just because your workday has ended, you can still help with hers. Run a vacuum, load the dishwasher, help put the kids to bed, etc. It’s your house too. Get up and do something to help.
- NEVER be critical of your wife in public. There is NEVER an excuse for this. If you have an issue with your wife, discuss it with her, not your buddies at the coffee shop.
- NEVER think that communication is overrated. Your wife needs communication as much as you need air to breath. When she asks, “What did you do today at the office?” Don’t say, “Nothing!” instead, give her all the details.
- NEVER stop dating your wife. One of the worst things you can do for your marriage is not investing any “alone time” as a husband and wife. Find a sitter and take your wife out for supper.
- NEVER stop praising your wife. You can’t over-praise your wife. Tell her she’s still beautiful, that she’s a good mother or a fantastic wife. No wife has ever said, “I don’t like it when you say nice things about me.” Be her BIGGEST fan.
- NEVER say something critical about your wife’s new haircut. There are a few things women take VERY serious, and their hair style is one of them. Being critical about your wife’s new hair style will only lead to the doghouse, sofa or both.
- NEVER hide things from your wife. Honesty and openness is HUGE to your wife. Don’t hide text messages, friendships, emails, passwords, etc. Openness leads to accountability, which is excellent in marriage.
- NEVER invest more time into your hobbies or occupation than your marriage and family. Your marriage should be FIRST priority, your family second and then your occupation and hobbies. Don’t be dumb enough to put your marriage and family on the back burner and later regret it.
- NEVER forget to say “I love you” at least once a day.
Just to be fair … here are “10 things a wife should never do.” Wives, what did I leave off this list?
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 23 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
Did you hand this list out before Kyle and I got married? Cause it seemed amazing that he knew this stuff on his own.
Hmmm. I would add (for both the husband and the wife lists) that you should never forget that sometimes your spouse just needs you to listen…not to fix it, not to join in the venting, but just to listen and be present. It's particularly important when big stuff happens but is important for day-to-day stuff too. My husband rocks at it.
How about an "always" list instead? I just like to look at the "dos" not the "donts".
Always kiss her goodbye. Even if she has a cold, she likes the kiss on the cheek. (Bobby is good at this!)
This is good, Trey!!…Can't wait to see what you put on here tomorrow:) Tami
Brie … "Listen and don't fix." I struggle with that. I think it's a "man thing."
Sharla … Bobby is a great example of what a husband's supposed to be.
Tami … it may get me in trouble.
NEVER compare your wife to another woman…especially a previous wife if you have been married before.
all good, and most go both ways!
Never make promises you don't intend to keep.
Never buy your wife that guitar you've been coveting for an anniversary gift when she doesn't play guitar. I've never done that, but only because I know to never do that!
Guys have to listen and not fix. Women have to listen and not commisserate and/or plot for revenge. We're sneakier. Not necessarily a good thing. Or maybe that's just me.
Happy New Year to you and your family!!! 2010 is upon us!! Yay!
Trey, you always hit the "nail on the head"! Your posts are wonderful, and that's why I enjoy reading them everday! I wish all men would "abide" by these rules. A lot of women would be happier which equals a happier WORLD!
GOD Bless you and your family in 2010!
Great list! CAnt' wait to read the women's version; but I'm hoping it doesn't list, "Never print out the male version of this list and hand it to your husband when he walks in the door." HA!
LBL … you are a smart man.
Carolyn … thank you and right back at you.
Charla … thanks for the BIG laugh you gave me.
A husband should appreciate the sweater vest he got for Christmas! LOL
Husbands, if there's one thing I can say from my short married tenure, it's love your wife unconditionally, and remember that love is a verb. If you love her, you show her that you love her by doing things that make her fall in love with you again, i.e. Trey's list. Regardless of how she treats you, love her. The best advice Steph and I ever got about marriage was from my dad who said, "Be good to each other."
Worth a try, huh?
Never say you're sorry if you don't mean it. Responding to any issue with a quick and meaningless "sorry about that" breeds mistrust and frustration. If you are really sorry, show it by trying to change, or discuss it. We work on this.