10 Stupid Lessons I’ve Learned In Life

  1. You can’t iron your shirt while it’s still on your body without burning yourself. Took me twice to learn this one.
  2. Never have a cup of hot coffee between your legs when you’re being rude to your mother. God will see your error, cause you to spill your coffee and punish you with what I now call the “hot-crotch!”
  3. You can’t use dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher.
  4. Tricking your soon-to-be wife into eating something very spicy is not nearly as funny as you think it will be.
  5. Make sure you understand the joke before you repeat it to everyone at church, because it may be a dirty joke.
  6. When sending a HIGHLY suggestive text message to your wife, make sure you’ve correctly addressed it to your wife and not one of your son’s high school friends. Sheesh!
  7. If you’re going to shoot your little brother in the back with your sling shot, make sure you have a better explanation to mom than, “I was trying to kill a bee that had landed on his back.”
  8. Before zipping out of your bedroom in your boxers, first make sure the babysitter hasn’t arrived.
  9. Wrinkling your forehead and asking your wife, “You’re going to wear THOSE shoes?” always puts you in the dog house.
  10. When at a church youth function and a mother says to you, “You’re supposed to be the adult out here, and if you guys don’t quit shooting fireworks at each other, someone’s going to get an eye put out,” karma will immediately take over and it will happen exactly like the mother says.

What’s a stupid lesson you’ve learned in life?

Subscribe / Share

Article by Trey Morgan

I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast. Read 1182 articles by
8 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Jeff says:

    Re: #5… Trey, that actually speaks well to your innocence/purity, although the advice certainly holds true. Years ago at the Tulsa workshop, Max Lucado told a joke that wasn’t even dirty or off-color, the punch line was just a subtle reference to divorce. NOBODY in the audience got it (except us former-heathen converts) and there was an awkward moment where Max thought he told the joke inaccurately.

    Oh, and #4 — rarely is Sherry’s sense of humor similar to mine, especially with regards to practical jokes. I’ll send you a PM about one time when Andy and I did set her up good :-)

  2. Barry Wiseman says:

    Add this to the list:

    When celebrating your wife’s birthday, especially her first AS your wife, don’t give her exercise equipment, a vacuum cleaner, dishwasher, washer/dryer, OR computer software as your gift to her, even if she has nagged you about how much she needs those things!

  3. Jewel Melton says:

    Don’t shoot your brother in the rear with his bb gun at close range when he begs you too. You’ll get in trouble when he runs inside to tell mom. It was a set up. I should have seen it coming!

  4. Bradley McCain says:

    When Mom says she’ll lock you out of the house next time you get in a fight, and you’d better finish it before you come back in… She means it.

  5. Jo Baird says:

    I am “sort of” sorry that I laughed when you spilled the coffee # 2. You did “sort of” deserved it.

  6. Monalea says:

    There’s too many to name :/

  7. Cathy says:

    I’ve done pretty much all of those things once, but I’ve never repeated them, except from sending a text to the wrong person. I accidentally sent a slightly rude text which was supposed to me for my best friend, who I was messing around with, to my Mother in law. Oops!

About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

Get The TreyMorgan.net App

To get the TreyMorgan.net app on your iPhone, iPad or iTouch


In an RSS Reader:

Or By Email:

Powered by FeedBlitz

Feed the Dump People


Follow Me On Twitter

Trey Morgan
Husband, father and cancer survivor & Senior Minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage, Texas Rangers and randomness.
  • Excited about a Chicago Cubs vs Cleveland Indians World Series. Going to be fun.
  • If your SEC team gets crushed by rival Alabama, how can you continue to root for Alabama in games? Makes no sense.
  • RT : Saw 's wife at Hobby Lobby, but no Trey. You're living dangerously.
  • she was on both a time-limit and budget, I hope she did well. :)
  • Just saw where the LA Sparks won the #WNBA Championship last night. My first thought was, "I didn't even know this league still existed."

Grab a Honduras Blog Button

Trey Morgan

My Web Host