You really can’t remember if it was Moses or Noah that took the animals on the ark.- You fall for the old preacher’s joke, “Turn in your bibles to the book of Hezekiah,” when there really is no book of Hezekiah.
- You think the old saying “cleanliness is next to godliness” is actually a verse in the Bible.
- The preacher announces the sermon is from Genesis and you have to check the table of contents.
- You think Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego are 3 of the 31 ice cream flavors at Baskin Robins.
- You’re just sure that “Do not dance” and “Do not gamble” are two of the ten commandments.
- You notice that your bible that you’ve had for the past twenty years still feels and smells new.
- You think Hercules was an Old Testament judge.
- You believe absolutely everything that the newspaper and television says, but you question the truthfulness and reliability of the Bible.
- You say, “So that’s where it’s been,” when your discover your bible in the same box as your old high school year books.
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. ~ 2 Timothy 2:15
Can you think of others?
I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 22 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.
You are right. There is no book by the title of Hezekiah in the Bible. I just checked! hahaha
I’m currently teaching a class on God’s concern for the poor of the world. I thought it was interesting that one of our members, who has been a Christian for a long time, made the statement, “I never knew God said so much about the poor.”
• You find a Houston Oilers team pennant between the pages
• You tell the preacher: “I was just reading that verse that says speak where the Bible speaks and be silent where the Bible is silent”
• You bet on the outcome of the battle of Jericho… and lose
This comment has absolutely nothing to do with today’s post; other than #5 cracked me up. Instead, it is a public thank you & testament to my best friend Trey, our youth minister Nate, & several members of our congregation.
Yesterday afternoon the phone rang. The voice on the other end said “Dane, Caitlin (my daughter) has been hit by a car & is on her way to the hospital”. Of course, I immediately went to the emergency room & was at my daughter’s side within minutes. Before I go any further, I should say that she is fine. Besides a few patches of road rash, she is perfectly healthy. Back to my point; Trey was there within minutes of my arrival. Standing beside my daughter & I doing for us what he does for me every day: encouraging us & lifting us up.
After the Dr. finished the exam and all the X-rays turned out negative, someone said that the waiting room was full & wanted to know if it was okay for them to come see Caitlin. I heard the door down the hall open & could hear the footsteps of a lot of concerned folks. Nate led the way into the room followed by what seemed like 20 or 30 other well wishers.
I know that Heaven began to be filled with prayers for health & recovery, followed by screams of thanks. Later Trey called to check on the still shaking Dad. We had a beautiful conversation about God really being the one watching out for our children even though we fool ourselves into thinking that we are their protectors.
Trey, you are the best friend I have ever had. You’ve been right there beside me through the tough losses & the great victories. Thanks buddy.
Dane
good post, hehehehehehhehehe
and thanks dane for sharing about Trey.
brian
Tim – Too funny. Excellent ones.
Dane-o,
You’d do the very same for me bro. I have no doubt.
Love ya!
Trey,
Good top 10 list.
Dane,
So thankful Caitlin was ok. She is a sweetheart, I still remember when she was little and at the babysitters every morning she would run and and give me a big hug, she still does and it still makes my day.
Stachia
Wow, you would be in bad shape if you had to look up Genesis in the table of contents. I catch myself singing when flipping through the bible…matthew, mark, luke and john, acts, and letters to the romans, ect.
As for Dane’s comment, I’m glad that Caitlin is ok. I’m not surprised that you had support instantly. Trey has never just preached sermons. He lives them. Childress is the greatest place to be with kids because the entire town embraces the old indian saying, it takes a village to raise a child.
Dane,
I’m glad your Daughter, is ok!
There you go stepping on toes again. When members at my father-in-law’s (Lon Mohundro, Jeanne’s husband) congregation used to say after a sermon, “Lon, you’re stepping on my toes again.” Lon would reply, “I missed, I was aiming for your heart.” Keep your aim up.
Trey,
These are so funny—and kinda sad—but funny
I tried to stop in Tulia yesterday on my way to take grandbabies back to Lubbock. I wanted to email you an update–but the police had blocked off the town. Sorry– I was planning to drive up the church building, let them know we were praying and send you info. Sorry it didn’t work out.
Peace
n
PS–I liked #8 best–too funny
n
Thanks to all the well wishers. She’s sore but fine.
As for the looking in the table of contents go; I’m not quite that bad but I have to admit, when Trey starts heading toward the end of the O.T. every once-in-a-while I catch myself watching Becky out of the corner of my eye so I can get a glimpse of which direction to flip the pages….
I love the Top Ten. I actually called Baskin Robins to check to see if they had Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego. They said ‘No’ they are still in the oven.
1. You believe the sanctuary talked about in the OT is now where the preacher stands to preach.
Wasn’t Hercules one of the judges?
Cool list, Trey. You’re becoming a pro at the top-ten thing. Next, we’ll be hearing that David Letterman’s calling YOU for ideas, rather than all his writers.
Glad your daughter’s okay, Dane. With 3 little ones, I D-R-E-A-D the day I get a call from the ER (or from the backyard that one of the boys needs to be rushed to the ER).
You think, “speak where the Bible speaks and remain silent where the Bible is silent” is actually in the Bible.
Don’t laugh. I was teaching a class on the restoration and someone honestly held this conviction.
Where is the scripture that says, “God won’t give you any more than you can handle.”?
OK I am going to come clean. About five years ago, I started using Quickverse on the computer. I must admit to not using my paper Bible as much because of the easy study/reading of it on the computer. Unfortunately that means my Bible is not getting the same wear and I would lose in a scripture finding drill. I think I am maybe learning more off the computer than I did with my paper Bible. Please don’t throw any darts!
However, I do think it is important that my kids see me reading out of the Bible and I do so quite a bit with them.
Kathy
You use your Bible to mark YOUR spot on YOUR pew.
don
Trey,
Read this to Mr. Neva at lunch and he said you know you dont read your Bible enough when you preach on the ten commandments and only reference Charlton Heston.
He is so funny—–and cute too.
Peace
n
I like mommysmart’s comment that Trey doesn’t just preach sermons,he lives them. From experience,it’s true!
Thanks alb.
i dont get it???
OHHH!!!!!!!!!!! nvm i get it!!!!!!